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Negotiating friends post wedding
Beginning side note... I've been wading into the waters of this website and I'm a little confused. What's with all the "kid/baby" posts?
Onto the POST.
Everything went great...mostly.
Short version, we have recently learned that our best man has been less than so. We made a point of not gossiping about drama from the bachelorette parties and the best man threatning to drop out. (Not that kind of drama, everyone was faithful). We thought it was all blown over as drunken over reacting and that was that. Now we know the other person is telling stories and we are not sure what has been painted about the events or if opinions have been changed. It was a small wedding so we took great care with the wedding party and the guest list. I'm scared that this will forever put a cloud over what was an amazing ceremony and party. For goodness sake, she signed our wedding certificate and now I realize she detests me and most likly does not support our marriage.
Do we really just leave it on the side of the road and move on without her, her girlfriend, and let some of the shared friends decide for themselves?
Re: Negotiating friends post wedding
I am super confused. Your best man is talking about you? His girlfriend?
Whatever the situation, if someone is talking about you behind your back, I'd just move on from it. Let your other friends make their own decisions. If you try to get them on "your side" it will only make things worse, and really, you're no better than the original backstabber.
I don't really see how its going to leave a cloud over your wedding day.
Also, a lot of people on this board have babies/kids and that is why there are a lot of those posts. HTH.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
Glad I'm not the only one totally confused. Methinks this requires more than the short version.
It happens. Regardless of how much care you put into your bridal party & guest list, there are bound to be at least a few people whom you will wind up parting ways with. It's life.
We are rounding to our 3rd anniversary. My MOH and I don't speak often and our bond is growing weak (we live very different lives.) My personal attendant, who had become my best friend by the time of our wedding, and I no longer speak at all. We work together and are finally becoming civil with one another after a huge blow-out that ended our friendship. Another member isn't involved in our lives at all either. We, too, felt we took great care with selecting those around us on our big day.
But it happens. If it overshadows your wedding, you're allowing it to. Ultimately, I married my husband and began a journey as husband and wife on that day. Whoever was present on that day...or today... doesn't factor into that. (It does suck a little they're in so many pictures, but I still have the beautiful memories of US and the day we joined together in marriage.)
Thanks for the advice. It's true that if we said anything, we would be doing the same thing. So, we have kept quiet about it, and have moved on from the negative people. We see them around town sometimes, or at events and we just steer clear.
The wedding album has been put together and there are only two pictures that the BM is in. The toast and the whole wedding party, and the photos are nice in general so I am at peace with it. As for the cloud... maybe I was worrying too much. Everyone still seems to only remember the good time.
Yay. So far wedded life has been better than I thought it would be.