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What Martha says about baby shower gifts/invites
On page 100 of the current issue (the blue picnic one), a reader asks, "How do friends and family celebrate the birth of a second child? I've heard a shower should be thrown only in honor of the first baby's birth." There's a long reply, but at the very end, Martha says, "If you wish to invite more people [than just family members], have a lunch or a tea instead of a shower, and request on the invitation that guests bring only themselves, not gifts."
Really? Martha advocates saying "no gifts" on an invitation? Hmmm. WDYT?
I don't know how I feel about that. I've always felt any gift info - to bring none or otherwise - is best spread by word of mouth or email/FB, not a formal invitation. I also don't know if the Ask Martha column is actually written by Martha or by a staffer.
Re: What Martha says about baby shower gifts/invites
Well, I definitely think it's appropriate to include the registry information on a shower invite. IMO, I think it's strange to get an invite and then have to seek the information elsewhere.
However, I do think that "no gifts" on an invite is off-putting. I do agree with calling it a tea or a lunch instead of a shower, so that people don't feel obligated.
My question is: if the invite says no gifts, and I show up with a little present, does that mean that I'm not following ettiquete?
I just can't imagine showing up to a baby celebration with out at least a cute onesie or blanket.
Yeah, I don't like when invitations say "no gifts" or any of the other cutesy sayings people have come up with. If I want to bring you something, I'm going to, and I don't want to hear about it if I do.
I don't know how I feel about that. I've always felt any gift info - to bring none or otherwise - is best spread by word of mouth or email/FB, not a formal invitation. I also don't know if the Ask Martha column is actually written by Martha or by a staffer.
Ditto and Hi! I think Martha has staffers write her columns... though I love the magazine for it's beautiful photography - especially the holiday issues. I read a wedding column written by her "expert" Darci that said it was OK to wear white to a wedding. (I would never).
I agree with you re: any gift info or suggestion on a formal invite - but I think it is a bit flexible now... we get invites all the time that say "no gifts please" - and my DH insisted I write that on his 40th B-Day invite - so I did. But I still felt iffy about it and guests still brought stuff. Don't know what else to tell you - my biggest pet peeve lately has been people who don't RSVP...
We often request that our guests not bring gifts. We throw parties because we enjoy the company and entertaining, not because we want free stuff. I wouldn't be upset if anyone deliberately went against our wishes and brought a gift (they sometimes do), but I would not open it at the party in front of other guests--that seems disrespectful.
As for the OP's question. I don't think that mentioning "no gifts" is inappropriate on an invitation, but the opposite is absolute innapropriate. I also think the wording is important. Just saying, "no gifts," is a bit abrasive . . . perhaps it could be worded: "In lieu of gifts, please . . ." or "presents will not be expected."