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Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
Last night before we went to bed DH checks his email. He got one from his BM who is getting married at the end of October about his bachelor party. (DH will be a GM in BM's wedding.) BM wants to schedule his bachelor party weekend in late July or early August. BM has narrowed down the location choices to Boston or Costa Rica.
I will be 37 weeks pregnant at the end of July. We're not going to a very good friends wedding in early July b/c I will be 34 weeks pregnant and am unwilling to go out of state at that point. One of my best friends (who was a BM for my wedding) is getting married July 24th in upstate NY and I can't go b/c there is no way my OB would let me get on a plane at 36 weeks (and no way I would get on one at 36 weeks).
I am fully aware that the world cannot stop and wait for me to have this baby and that life will be going on. I just want my husband to understand that it would be unacceptable to leave me home alone 3 weeks before my due date to go on a long bachelor weekend with his friend. So far DH has told him that he can't go to Costa Rica. I said- I'm not sure Boston would be a great idea either. If it was the end of August, early September after the baby was born, I'd be all for it- I'd make arrangements to have one of my OOT girlfriends, family, someone to come stay with me and the baby, I'd kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a good time.
I also don't want to have to tell him, No, you can't go. I want him to want to not go and be home with me in the last days before the baby comes. Is that so much to ask?
Re: Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
I don't think you're being unreasonable! I was born 4 weeks early, so you never know when the baby is going to make his appearance.
I can understand if it was something unavoidable that he had to go to, but IMO a bachelor party is avoidable. Yes, it will suck to miss a fun trip but it would be worse to miss the birth of your first child!
I agree. I think if I were in your shoes it wouldn't bother me if the guys were doing something relatively local for the bachelor party...it's the distance that I wouldn't like. Who knows what can happen. I'd want DH home with me, too!
Honestly, I would be okay with it- if it was just a weekend (no more than 3 days). I would have my mom or someone close come stay with me while he was gone.
Signed,
Lady who is not pregnant so she doesn't "get it".
Yep. At that point, I would not be pleased he even considered hopping on a plane unless it completely necessary.
I would state this fact to your DH and see what he says...
And if he says, "Don't worry, you won't have the baby while I'm gone" tell him he can go if he can the doctor to guarantee you will not give birth on those dates.
At about the same point, J had to go on a business trip. He had to go to San Fran or it might jeopardize his job. (Little did I know they would cut him after the baby was born, anyway. Grr.)
I was so annoyed, but it's hard to say no to a work thing, and I knew the flight home would be short if he needed to hurry back.
On the other hand, I really needed him there when I did go into labor. Sure another family member could have helped, but I wanted him and was glad it was him.
I think a trip to Boston 3 weeks out is annoying, but ok. It's a quick flight home. Costa Rica? No way, Jose.
TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
I think you're being way reasonable. J had a business trip planned at 37 weeks that his bosses chartered a plane for him (and another guy from his work) for so he had to go (it ended up being cancelled at the last minute). I stressed the entire time. If it had been a fun trip, I would have put my foot down. I felt like he needed to be there for me and for the birth of his child. I was so nervous about it and in the end didn't have to be.
I guess I'm saying, I'm in your camp. I like softskate's 1 hour radius deal. If possible, unless its a work event or a family emergency, which is different.