is this within etiquette?

KatieBride06

is it acceptable for a dinner hostess to suggest a guest bring a certain type of dish?

let me break it down a little more. we're having a very informal cookout with neighbors. we've done these before and different houses and everyone always pitches in with food. as the host house, we'll be doing the grilling meats and at least one side. is it appropriate for me to coordinate the other items by asking neighbors to bring something specific - salad, side veggie, appetizer, dessert. i just want it to be balanced instead of saying "bring whatever you like" and then everyone showing up with pasta salad.

Mandy70065

I wouldn't ask people what to bring specifically...I would ask the frist person I call or invite what they would like to bring, and then tell the next person what you have so far and ask what they would like to bring and so on and so forth. 

Jim&Jaime

I don't think it would be out of line.  Do you want to end up with all desserts and no sides or snacks?

If you know someone that likes to cook, you could call them first and give them dibs on what they want to do. 

KatieBride06

Mandy70065:

I wouldn't ask people what to bring specifically...I would ask the frist person I call or invite what they would like to bring, and then tell the next person what you have so far and ask what they would like to bring and so on and so forth. 

i like that idea.

KatieBride06

Mandy70065:

I wouldn't ask people what to bring specifically...I would ask the frist person I call or invite what they would like to bring, and then tell the next person what you have so far and ask what they would like to bring and so on and so forth. 

i like that idea.

julie5220

Offer an option, like say "Can you do an appetizer or a side?"  Order is good, but telling people what they have to make is bad. 

Mandy70065

KatieBride06:

Mandy70065:

I wouldn't ask people what to bring specifically...I would ask the frist person I call or invite what they would like to bring, and then tell the next person what you have so far and ask what they would like to bring and so on and so forth. 

i like that idea.

Thanks!  It is what i do when I am having people bring stuff.  That way pretty much everyone can make their specialty and you still have variety.

martinilove

If everyone normally helps out with this like you indicated, then no, I don't think it's out of line.  Most people, however, will ask you what they can do to help or what they can bring and that would also be a very appropriate time to say, "Could you please bring an appetizer?"  I wouldn't give them a specific dish to make, just keep it broad to sides, veggies, pasta salad, app, dessert, etc.

62406

I don't think it's out of line, but it's hard when you have a potluck type event.  Are you close to one of the neighbors who has hosted a party before? You could ask them what they did regarding this issue. I don't mind when I go to functions and I'm told to bring a certain food category, it's actually easier for me to decide what to bring when it's not so broad. 

musiscout

We do emails with my family and group of friends. We reply all into a template of drinks, salads, bread, entree, desserts, sides. As it fills up everyone can usually see what's left to bring and not all sign up for one thing.