Can you please explain this?

elissaann26

I am wondering why it is such a faux pas to announce you are pregnant before completing your first trimester. 

Is it because there is a higher chance of miscarrying?  Well, I'm just thinking that why should that be such a horrible thing to admit or share with people in your life.  I would think you would need support and such during that time.  I do completely get not telling work since there could be negative impacts to your job.  But I guess the whole secretive thing just seems weird to me.

Buttercup29

We were told at our 6 week appointment to only tell people close to us incase something like a m/c did happen that we'd have a suppotive circle to surround us. Most of my friends have waited until 10-12 weeks to tell everyone else or even 17 weeks when they find out the sex of the kid. It just depends on the couple. I think it would be tough to tell people and then have to go back and say it isn't happening anymore, but everyone is different. I think you should tell people when you are comfortable.

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold off

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold off for

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold off for everyone

KatieBride06

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold off for everyone else.

H&W05

Yes, the risk of a miscarriage is higher in the first trimester. I agree with telling family at least. With our first pregnancy we told family almost right away, and while it was hard to have to call them all back and tell them about the m/c, I needed their support. I would have told them about the miscarriage anyway, so I don't really get keeping the pregnancy a secret. That's just me though.

Now, I do see not announcing it to everyone else.

shoeaholic0403

Like PP said, it seems to vary by couple.

And I don't think it's b/c they don't want support. It just seems like if a couple has told a lot of people and then something does happen it's even harder to have to go back and tell everyone that knows. It's like driving the knife a little deeper every time they have to tell someone what happened to the baby.

I have a friend who told everyone she knew as soon as she took the home test & her DH told a lot of people too. Then she had a m/c and it was really hard on her to have to call everyone. She got pg again not long after that and waited a little longer before she told. The second pregnancy was great and she now has a 2 yr old, but she didn't want to put herself through all the pain again. Just in case.

elissaann26

KatieBride06:

i personally think it'd be REALLY hard to keep that a secret. i'd probably at least tell our immediate families much sooner than that, but hold off for everyone else.

I was just thinking about this because I am a horrible secret keeper, especially when it is news that I'd like to share.  With a few of our neighbors we figured out they were pregnant before it was announced (due to lack of drinking) and it was so awkward to "out" them.  But at the same time it seemed like they were so relieved once we knew.  So when it happens, we'll definitely tell our families and probably some close friends/neighbors.  And then wait longer to make the official announcement to the whole world.

squeshia22

I agree with everyone else - if we were to get PG I would only tell family and close friends.  But like you Elissa I am a terrible secret keeper and would want to announce to the world!  I would have to try very hard to keep it to myself. 

Timscutie01

We didn't tell anyone because of that risk.  I didn't want to deal with explaining to people I barely know that I had a mc.  We ended up having a mc at 6.5 weeks and I'm glad I didn't have to make any type of announcement that we lost the baby. Yes I can understand wanting to have that support system but to me it was better for DH and I to deal with the loss on our own.  I did eventually tell my sisters but our parents  and brother in laws do not know. 

poontater

No one but my Dr, Therapist and DH knew both times I was pregnant. First time was because I found out in right after Thanksgiving and we thought it would be a wonderful Christmas present to all (but ended up losing that pregnancy) and the second time (I found out I was pregnant on my birthday), but due to my first miscarriage and because it took us almost a year to get pregnant again we decided to keep it hush hush until at least 12 weeks, but unfortunately I lost that pregnancy as well.

I did not tell anyone about my m/c until about 2 years ago. I ended up telling my mom, because she would not stop asking me for grand-babies and I had tried every other way to get her to stop asking. 

If and that is unfortunately a big IF I ever get pregnant again, we will probably keep it a secret until at least 14 or 16 weeks. I am a big girl and could probably easily hide it from the people around me. 

akspriss

When we got a BFP we called our parents, siblings and grandparents and told them. But we waited till after our first Dr. Appt around 11 weeks and then shared it with our extended family, friends and coworkers (cuz we were both pretty close with our coworkers). i will admit it was really hard not telling anyone until after the dr. appt but we just wanted to wait till we saw/heard the heartbeat to make sure everythign seemed okay.

SpeedGlenn

We told everyone after we got the all clear at 8wks. Then 10days later, I had a car accident and lost the baby.  Untelling people wasn't even so bad, it was what all the nimrods had to say about the loss that left me wanting to stab someone in the eye with a soldering iron.

This time around, there are still people who don't know and I'm 19 1/2 wks.

CurbsideProphet

Once you tell people, it can be hard to control who they tell. So I think it can be hard to spread the message of loss if you tell a lot of people right away.