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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Who do (did) you want in the delivery room?
I got into an interesting conversation with my girlfriend who just found out she was confirmed pregnant this week- who she wants in the delivery room. It got DH and I talking and me thinking. So for those of you who've already been to the delivery room (or delivered in your home 
) who did you want/have with you? PG ladies and those TTC, who do you want with you?
) who did you want/have with you? PG ladies and those TTC, who do you want with you?
Re: Who do (did) you want in the delivery room?
DH and I got into a long discussion about this. 1) I don't want 90 gazillion people there. I have a huge family, and well... I just don't them all there. And if I have 1, then I have to have all (extended family). 2) I would pretty much prefer if people didn't know I was in labor and instead just came to the hospital once LO arrived.
For sure DH, and a Dula (sp?)- if you've met my husband you know why. He's super quiet and hates to see me in pain, and honestly will give in to anything- and I want to (try) to stick to my birth plan and will need someone who's a little more- assertive to remind me of what I want.
Here's the hard part. I'd really like my dad in there with me- primarily for the laboring part (is that weird?) My dad is an amazing, comforting, soothing man who is one of my best friends. He's also super good at being attentive and caring for me. BUT for me to have my dad, probably means having my mom. I LOVE my mom, she's absolutely fabulous...but can sometimes be... emotional.
I guess it's a "we'll cross that bridge" thing but ultimately I'm sure it'll be me, DH, my mom, and my dad. I have no desire for MIL or FIL to be anywhere near me when in labor.
(Not that it matters right now
)
We are also not yet TTC but have had this conversation. Right now it looks like it'll be just us two (and whatever medical staff we decide on - midwife and nurses, maybe). I really like the idea of it being a special moment between the two of us. We could spend time as a new little family before everyone else rushes in.
There's a chance that I'll decide I want my mom in there when I'm in the moment, but for now I think I'll stick with just me and MH.
During the whole labor process, I was ok with Ray (duh), my mom and stepdad, my MIL, and I would have been ok with my sister and 1 or 2 of my closest friends as well. It was a huge, private room, so it never felt crowded, and, for me, it was nice to have the company and distractions since it went on for so long.
Since I live in Tucson, that isn't really how it happened though. During the long labor process it was my mom and stepdad and MIL in addition to my DH. I felt totally comfortable with that.
When it came time to push (or to check to see where I was at), we cleared the room except for Ray and my mom. And that was good. For the pushing, my MIL may have been there, but off in the corner. (And I have a really close relationship with my MIL, so I was totally fine with this, and she was super respectful of boundries and my privacy, so it was a non-issue).
I was completely happy with how it turned out regarding people in my room. But it's a totally personal decision, and I think everyone should completely respect the wishes of the mom in labor.
And Jenn - your mom and my mom are VERY similar (as you know).
I was SO grateful to have her there with me. She was there for me when I needed her, but she gave the ultimate support position to Ray. I think if you do want your mom in there, but are scared of, um, your mom being your mom, I would just let her know up front what your birth plan is, what you want to happen, and that you totally want her there as support, but that you need her to try to refrain from being too protective of her baby (you)
and try to go with what you want to happen. I think you'd be so surprised how well it could work out.
Take that with a grain of salt though...
I'm not TTC anymore obviously, but before our split DH and I were for two years. I was planning a home birth and wanted my parents there, DH (though, honestly, if he didn't make it I wouldn't have wept over that), my best friend, another really good friend for comedic relief, my midwife, and a doula. I wanted the birth photographed so my best friend (who is also my assistant) was going to do that job. And if I wasn't able to do it myself I wanted my Mom to be the one who caught the baby.
And then if anyone else had a huge desire to be there I was OK with them being downstairs (or wherever I wasn't) hanging out for it. But I don't think anyone else would have any desire to be there.
I would like to have my DH, Mom and Dad. They were in there while my sister was in labor and they helped her a lot. I would have been there but I arrived too late and her boyfriend was in the room too.
Hubs and I havent really talked about it so I am not really sure, but I guess it's up to me who we have in there.
Click Me
After IF and TTC for so long, I think I am not as shy about everyone seeing all my glory parts, amazing how little you care once you have been there. With that being said, I am more concerned about the energy that others will bring in the room so I will probably just have Phillip in with me. My mom is sweet but I have a feeling she will drive me nuts instead of make me feel better. The only other person I can see having in the room would be in sister-in-laws as one is really quite and relaxing and the other just gets me so I think she would know how to help.
I could give you a really long answer to this, but I'll try to be a little concise...
1st whatever you're comfy with. I think there is a HUGE difference between being in the room with you versus down the hall hanging out. Here is who was at the hospital & in the room with my kiddos
Gman-Dad, Mom, BFF--Dad wasn't in there during the big push--but would change that in hindsight
Emster-Hubs, Mom, Dad, Gman. They were there for the whole thing and a ton of docs and nurses at the end bc of heart rate issues. The point is, at that point, I could care less about who saw what--you just want that baby OUT!
ETA--I think that labor was a little hard on Gman, but he was really glad for the experience--he thought I was 'funny'- huh?!
LB-Just the hubs.
All three experiences were totally different. WAY different. Each has their good and bad aspects. You definitely want someone that is your rock, whomever that person is. Let's go to happy hour and I'll tell you my fab birth story of Gman. I'm thinking about ya this week!
Not TTC yet either - but we've had numerous conversations about this.
We're planning on trying to go the home-birth route, so probably midwife, doula and the hubs. The rest of my immediate family (mother and brother) would like to be in attendance, and I'm okay with that. - not necessarily in the room attendance, but in the house/waiting room if we end up at the hospital. They just want to be close by for support and knowing my personality, I would want them there.
I'm sure I'll change my feelings between now and then/in the moment, but for now, this is where we are, and we are really looking forward to the experience.
1st of all, I am REALLY shy. When we spoke about this the first time around, we decided that it would be just the two of us. Then my sister kept hinting at wanting to be there for me and I didn't have the heart to tell her no. She had STRICT instruction to not move any lower than the very top of the bed. LoL...
The second time around, I wasn't really talking to my sister (long story,) however, my mom made me call her to let her know I was at the hospital. She ended up showing up and I REALLY didn't want her to. She kept telling me I was stupid for not getting an epidural. She even told my Doula that she was crazy for having a home birth. I wish the nurses would have kicked her out, but in the end, I'm glad she was there. DH was also there of course and obviously, my Doula.
As for caring about who sees what, well, I was in so much pain, I didn't care anymore. You just have so much more stuff to be concerned about at that point. LoL...
My advice, have people there that will not make you uncomfortable in any way, shape or form.
the only person i wanted in there was dh. the annoyance level is going to be very high, and it really just depends on how you are and what you're comfortable with. people came in and visited (after my epidural) before i was ready to push, i was ok with that because i was on happy drugs. i'm glad i don't have one of those pushy families that makes you feel like they have to be there.
next time, i don't plan on an epidural and it's very possible i will throat punch anyone who comes near me. don almost got hit a few times
Awww Shannon.. does this mean I cant be there LOL!!! Just kidding...
Anyways, I've had 4 and Like Shelly said its really different each time. With Chad, I had my the Dad, Mom, my Aunt, my best friend Stacey, and Chad's Memere came running in at the last minute to catch the end of things. She had been working and sped over to the hospital in hopes of making it.
With Kaleb it was just me and the Dad. I really wanted my Mom and Aunt there but my Aunt did not make it because I went so fast (think water breaking at home with no contractions at 1130 and then him bein born at 1 after 3 pushes) and my Mom was super sick so she couldn't come :-(
With CJ it was just me and the Dad. The hospital we were at was a ways away from anyone so I was fine with that. Nobody even visited at the hospital except for my friend who was due 3 days after me who was there for an NST haha. My ex's family stayed with the other boys while we were at the hospital.
With Will it was Carl. His Mom, Aunt and Chad were all visiting off and on inbetwen pain and my epi. We were induced so they came to the hospital after I had my pitocin in and was ready to go. And they all came in when we were cleaned up and ready for visitors.
Long story short... The whole freeking United States Marine Corps. could have been there and I wouldn't have cared. Being in labor really tends to make some people lose their sense of modesty. If the USMC could have made me feel better, I would have welcomed them with open arms, haha!
I want DH, my Mom (since I think DH may end up passing out since I want no pain med's lol), Doula and obviously Midwife. That's it!
I also may hire a photographer to capture the experience...we'll see. I've seen many pictures and they are so amazing.
Not TTC yet, but we've already decided who's allowed to be present.
DH, my mom, and my sister. NOT one of them is allowed to look down there, doctors only. I am very shy, and I don't want anyone I know looking at that. Also, my dad and brother would be allowed until pushing time...
His family is not allowed, since they annoy the hell out of us.
Can't wait to meet my baby boy!
well it was just clayton and I and our two midwives at home. I thought prior to the birth that probably would have been ok with one more friend.
But, Clayton didn't want anyone there so I respected that and I'm glad. After going through it I'm glad there was no one else.
My friend helped me think through it before the birth, she said when you are sick do you want to be left alone (besides you spouse) or do you like to have people around, that is a good indicator of how many should be there.
I like to be alone when sick (besides Clayton) so it was very true for me.
p.s. if you have any thoughts about going natural, you probably won't want them in there past the point where contractions are comfortable (which is before pushing) that is a time you need to focus (IMO)
oh i didn't care about that either...when you're in labor and pushing you don't give a crap who sees what. i was just very easily annoyed, and everyone was annoying me
Well going into it I wanted just DH, my mom, and maybe MIL in the room during the end of labor but I ended up having to have an emergency c-section
so it ended up just being DH
But I had a ton of people waiting in the waiting room down the hall that came in after. Mom, dad, sister, 2 brothers, MIL, FIL, BIL and his gf, 2 family friends, and my best friend. It was crazy.
The Life of the E Family
Agreed! Especially without meds! This is the reason for privacy wayyyyy more than the risk of a va-jay-jay sighting by anyone
m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
My boobies belong to cour10e
So true, I really want to do natural, and for my sister she didn't want to have anyone at the hospital until after Kaycee was born. We might end up doing the same. Especially with the parents they can kind of get push and i don't want to have a high stress enviornment during that time.