June 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Why my life isn't perfect...
For mamie...I'll start.
1. I have about $113,000 of student loan debt and it's like a second mortgage payment every month. Despite making a pretty good salary, it feels like I'm still living like a grad student after bills are paid.
2. I haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep since Alex was born (no more than 3 consecutive hours). I love the little stinker, but I'm exhausted.
ETA: 3. I forgot a big one...I don't know my father. I'm the product of a one-night stand.
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Re: Why my life isn't perfect...
1) I have been out of law school for 3 years and still don't have a job I like that is permanent.
2) While I'm not in a ton of debt (student loans are pretty low considering I went to a top tier law school), with DH trying out the self-employed thing, we're still pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and not able to put anything in to savings. Which leads to...
3) We're nowhere near being able to afford a house in the near future due to the fact that we can't start saving for a DP.
ETA: 4) My previously not so stellar view from my office of flat land and the distance has just been replaced by a dollar general.
My Bio (wedding pics added 7/6)
My 101
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
1) I have about $8500 of credit card debt. Not good...but much better than the $29K I started out with!
2) I get sick a lot and generally I get random things that doctors can't diagnose. I've been in a couple of medical books because of this.
ETA- 3) And effing AT&T just changed my upgrade date from 6/7/2010 to 9/7/2010 so now I have to wait it out or pay an extra $200 to get a new iPhone.
1) I feel like I've grown up/matured too fast. I'm 26 yo, and just keep wanting to advance in life as opposed to just live in the day - I currently just want to buy a house, and have babies and live happily ever after - but I stop and think - that there's more to life then that, I feel as though I should get some experience under my belt.
2) I wish I would have known how things with my family (immediate), were going to pan out when I was younger. To be honest - my mom is a b1tch - I won't go into details, but I haven't talked to my mom in almost a year; my sister and her are on bad terms (always have been off/on), and my father is about to request a divorce from her (he would like to be in an apartment first). Growing up my family was fine and happy. It just really sucks to see everyone this way. I feel horrible for my dad, as he is sad.
3) I have cc debt that doesn't want to go away - stupid shopping habit.
1. I'm just unhappy being where we are right now, I'm so sick of living in our current house (because when I bought it, my plan was to be out in 3 years or less - I just hit 5 in April but at least my mortgage rate reset 2% lower). I'm afraid even after 5 years of payments to build equity (I bought it with 100% financing) we still won't make much of anything when we sell it after paying fees.
2. DH and I have been considering both of us looking for new jobs in TX - its where I really want to be and we dont think his job is going to get us there (even though they told us it was a good possibility when he was hired) but he loves his job and I'm afraid 5 years from now if he doesnt find something equally as good he'll resent me for it. I'm miserable at my job because I'm so bored and I can't stand my boss. But I don't have a clue what I want to do (besides the cooking/baking thing) that will pay well so I'm sort of afraid to even look for something else. I'm sort of on track with where I thought would be in my career when I was in college but its not fulfilling at all. I almost regret spending the time in undergrad/grad school since I really have no desire to use my degrees anymore.
3. I'm afraid something is wrong with us since we've been trying to get KU for 4 months now with no luck. I realize that I'm being completely impatient on this (the first 2 months we had terrible timing due to business trips and its too early to tell for this month) but I feel like being baby crazy has slightly consumed my life right now.
4. Both DH and I have put on 10 pounds since the wedding - and neither of us are really doing anything about it - but both of us are bothered by it.
HomemadebyHolman
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I haven't had a job since 2007...yeah.
I have a pretty useless degree so now I'm going back to school and it's really tough.
1. I have an awesome low-stress job with a fancy title -- yet it's absolutely dead end and pays me crap. Yet I stay because it's comfortable.
2. DH and I are not on the same page about children. I eventually want one, and he's learning toward none. I'm also starting to feel like I'll be the last one standing with a kid in about two years. There's been a huge explosion of classmates and others who have gotten KU this year, and it's creeping me out.
3. I'm suffering from a huge case of the "I want"s. I would love to go out and buy a lot of high ticket items right now, but with the way money has been gushing out of my account since we bought the house, my conscience is telling me no.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
1 - Medical bills just started rolling in and the total received this week is roughly $4000 after ins. We're just getting started...
2 - Amelia's immune system is pretty delicate right now so we can't visit anyone or take her in public. Because of this it looks like I will miss my best friend of 15+ years getting married in 2 weeks.
3 - Our apt is trashed. We have so much stuff and no time to sort through it. I'm really hoping we can make a dent in it this weekend.
HomemadebyHolman
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hawki, maybe your friends have a point that both of us should be taking to heart! Grass is always greener...
About the wants -- it's making it even worse that depression makes me want to do some retail therapy. Bad idea.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
1) I have a good amount of school debt and a mediocre paying job. Better yet it is a dead-end job because my boss thinks of me as a full-time intern versus a budding designer. This week was the 3rd time my boss has hired above me, versus giving me a promotion to take on those responsibilities, even though a year ago I specifically told him that I wanted to work toward that upper position. I have created my portfolio, resume, etc, but keep hesitating on sending it out to prospective companies because I am afraid of rejection, and seriously considering a full-out career change.
2) Like Mamie, I am also suffering from a case of the "I-wants" REALLY BADLY right now. All I do when I am on the computer is online shop.... fill my cart and not puchase. Well, a few times I have actually purchased. The rest of the times I just drool and wish I had more money.
3) I have a puppy that I am having dominance issues with. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out. I think I have tried too hard to be buddy-buddy with him, because though we have become closer than he is with K, he doesn't respect or listen to me half the time. I have been reading about it and working to correct it, but it is extremely frustrating!
4) I have a family that has super high expectations, and am always made to feel like I am disappointing someone in one way or another if I am not at every single family event (which they always create with no notice).
I have a great job but do geological consulting and constantly have to defend my profession. BP has not helped.
My father is an alcoholic and rather than deal with it, I moved 2000 miles away. I worry for the rest of my family.
1. I am an English teacher at a school that will be losing 1/3 of the faculty to budget cuts, and they haven't announced which positions are being cut yet. If I don't get cut I will be teaching classes that average 35 students. They are probably cutting Drama (for which I was hired) for the fourth year in a row, so I will be teaching Remedial Reading to frustrated 15 year olds instead.
2. I took a 6-week medical leave 4 weeks ago to have back surgery, and they have not brought in a long term sub to replace me, so my kids are being taught by the principal, vp, 2 counselors and spec. ed. lead. As of two weeks ago my classes had not progressed beyond the last lesson I taught (Act 1, Scene 2 of Romeo and Juliet). There are two weeks of school left.
3. I had back surgery. I am 30.
1) I got pulled aside at work the other day. We are facing layoffs. I'm probably numero uno on the list to get canned since they know I'm leaving soon anyways. This would be a blessing in disguise but...
2) I don't have a job yet where we're moving to. I'm freaked out about this because...
3) We have a shiiton of debt. I'm talking cc's and personal loans. Thankfully we're heading in the right direction now, but of course now I might be out of work.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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~All AL'ers welcome~
1. My husband is my only friend. My former best friend of 10 years seemed to stop wanting to be around me when I got married. I don't think I changed; I think she did. There was always a little competition in the friendship (who spent more money, whose day was harder, that sort of thing), so I suppose my getting married when she was breaking up with her turned-out-to-be-crazy bf was a big deal, but we had planned the wedding like 8 months before their break up. I wasn't going to call it off! My other best friend spends most of her time at her parents because she lost her job a year ago. The rest of my friends are pretty self-absorbed and most of them don't have jobs so they never want to do anything fun, even if I'm paying. I wish against all wish that I had some fun girlfriends to go out drinking, shopping, vacations, gossip and do all that normal girlfriend stuff.
2. I hate L.A. but I can't move and I am deathly afraid of raising kids here. I was already one foot out when I met my husband (this was actually an issue; he didn't want to get too close at first because he thought I would move back to Chicago and leave him), but now we own a house and he absolutely loves his job. I can't stand this place and its fakeness and how proud people are to be absolutely incompetent. It's toxic for children, how can I save my own from this?
3. I have gained like 10 pounds in the last few months, probably since my grandmother died in March. I think her death upset me a lot more than I thought it did, and that plus the feeling friendless and now my jeans are all tight and my poor husband doesn't know what to do to cheer me up besides buy me jellybeans, which isn't helping. This sucks. I'm a vegetarian! I stopped eating processed foods (except for, of course, the jellybeans)! How do you get fat eating vegetables? Somehow, I've done it.
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1. Student loan debt...for a master's degree I can't get a job in, well in Ohio anyways. My degree is in art therapy which is an amazing field but in Ohio there is no liscensure, which = no one wanting to pay for it. So those places that do hire art therapists, the therapists stay until retirement.
2. I would love to move and DH & I have talked about it but I am an only child and DH's dad is sick and we can't really consider it until he passes away. We think that will be soon but his dad is a stubborn old man and could be like this for years, who knows.
3. I love my mom but since Ayden has been born, she has given me an opinion on everything and what I am doing wrong and has been over to visit almost everyday! I am breastfeeding and she didn't breastfeed me. Yet she appears to be an expert and tells me I should give him formula at night so I can sleep and only feed him when he wants to be fed. Um no bf babies need to eat more often and I don't want him to have formula yet. He's not even 6 weeks old. DH is getting annoyed with her visits but how do I tell her to back off without offending her? When he comes home from work, she won't even give the baby up for DH to hold...unacceptable!
In all honesty I have absolutely no room to complain... because I'm the happiest I've been in a LONG time, and it's absolutely an amazing feeling! But there are definitely things that make it so it isn't perfect.
The NUMBER ONE THING: My mom keeps crawling back to her POS husband. They're in this rollercoaster of a "marriage". So up and so down, and I have to hear about it at both times, and knowing how shiitty of a person he is makes it INCREDIBLY hard and awkward when they're on their up times. I can't even be nice to him anymore. I'm cordial, because I'm not one to be rude to anyone (especially because I don't want to upset my mom), but I ignore him now. He has blamed every single one of their marriage problems on me, my husband and my two sisters. (Yeah... WTF... first of all, that's not even possible. We're NEVER around them!!) He's just a ridiculous human being... completely useless. Due to all the drama, and the fact that he doesn't even like me or Ryan (and vice versa) I don't want him touching Jake. I'm incredibly protective of him. This hurts my mom because she wants to "share" Jake with him (as a step-grandpa), but I won't have any of it.
#2) This is probably TMI, but for the first time since my breast augmentation surgery in 2006, I've hated having implants. Not because of the surgery, and before this I've LOVED them... but since I've been breastfeeding, they are GIGANTIC, heavy and awkward looking on my little body. They make me feel "chubby and frumpy" if that makes any sense. Honestly, had I known how giant my boobs were going to get with breastfeeding, I probably would have saved myself six grand, and waited to get them done after I was finished having kids. I also probably could have spared myself all the stretch marks I got on them. For the record, before my surgery, I was a 34B. After, I was a 34C. Now... 34DD. YEAH. I am 5'4'' and 115 lbs.
#3) I want so badly to get back into shape, but I have zero motivation and find exercising insanely boring. I've lost all but about five pounds of baby weight, so my "shape" is back, but I've lost all toning and definition that I had before the wedding. Boooo.
#4) Totally petty one... I WANT A NEW CAR. I bought my Honda Civic in 2008, and I LOVE it, but it sucks with the whole carseat situation. It barely fits in there (due to the height of the seat), and it's awkward to bend over and put in the car. I want to get a smaller SUV... specifically the Chevrolet Equinox. It gets awesome gas mileage (pretty close to what my Honda gets, believe it or not!!), it has more space than my tiny car, is a little higher off the ground, and we could get a fully loaded brand new one for about $35K. Plus, when we have another baby in a couple of years, the Honda definitely won't work. The problem?? I'm upside down on my Honda, and makes no sense to trade, and wouldn't be able to sell it privately for enough, either.
:::In My Life, I've Loved You More:::
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It took us several months of trying also, so don't get too discouraged!!!! (Although I know how disappointing it is to wait anxiously all month long only to be let down.) It took us about 4-5 months of trying, so hang in there!!!