Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Virgin and a Vibrator
Proof that we really are cows. Moo.
* laptopprancer seriously wonders if she called the vet by mistake
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
goodness this took off when i turned my back!
i didn't say that using a vibrator wouldn't make her a virgin. what i was saying was that they are such similar acts, and if you made a promise to wait until your wedding night...then why bother with simulating the act prior? at this point, you might as well wait. vibrators don't loosen things up permanently. that's like saying your vag is permanently loosened/stretched out after giving birth.
and if kissing is taboo for your family, then a vibrator is going to send you straight to hell instantly!
I don't usually post on this board, but I am sad at the lack of knowledge of your own body. Your hymen (what you break when you "pop your cherry") covers part of the opening of your vagina. So your sister's information was clearly incorrect, since a tampon goes in further than just the opening, obviously.
Also, by your definition, would that mean that a woman who never had intercourse but has had a gynecological exam is not a virgin? That just doesn't make sense!
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Sorry to break the news honey....but tampons go just as much "up in there" as a dildo or a penis or another object (cucumber?) would and most definitely past where you may or may not have a hymen (which covers near opening of vagina). Otherwise you would feel the damn thing all day and it would be incredibly uncomfortable.
Also, everyone's hymens are different. Some are born with very little hymen and so never have it "pop", some have ones with only a small "hole" (to allow menstrual blood to pass) or others with a larger one, or multiple ones, some are stretchy and thin, some thick and inflexible, some lose theirs horseback riding or falling on the top tube of their bike, some can use tampons without breaking theirs (due to the larger opening) and others do break theirs with one.
Whether you are "popped" or not is a poor measure of whether you are a virgin or not (i.e. see in countries where girls and women may be even murdered for being assumed to not be a virgin anymore as they don't have an intact hymen yet broke theirs riding a horse or something).
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S LOSE. You LOSE your virginity; if you're a big ol' slut your vagina is LOOSE.
And by your definition, I lost my virginity in the 3rd grade when I fell on a balance beam, landed on my crotch, and broke my hymen. And here I thought I held out until I was 18.
Slut.
But no no no, with that samantha's explanation your hymen is actually your cervix. And penetrating that is generally frowned upon. In fact, I'm not entirely sure I'm not a virgin.But I didn't go to a gynecologist who told me my hymen was a forcefield somewhere up beyond reach of a tampon, so... hm.
You took my answer.
lol! Me too, apparently.
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Ignoring jrsygirl's and davessamantha's WTFery (and let me just say now that I think I deserve an award for that -- it's got black hole-level graviational pull), learning what you do and don't like before your wedding night isn't a bad idea at all.
A dildo will get you more acquainted with the feeling of penetration, although I'm not sure how effective it will be in helping "loosen things up." I would try a smaller, inexpensive one with some lube; pick up a multi-pack of different kinds of lube so you can try more than one. A vibrator -- I would go with a bullet or something similar to start -- will help you get comfortable with clitoral stimulation (and, more than likely, an orgasm or fifty
).
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You lose your virginity when you have sexual intercourse and the penis penetrates the vagina.
If you want to us a vibrator internally to loosen yourself up, you can, and you'll still be a virgin. However, you don't need to 'loosen' yourself up: your vagina can enlarge enough for a baby to fit through, so I think your husband's penis will fit just fine. But if it makes you feel more comfortable, then go for it.
OK what does my age have to do with anything on this post i gave my opinion sorry if offend anyone and im not desperate to get married sorry if it took you more than have your life to find some one who can pretend good enough for you to think they love you! and how i grew up is fine with me. it taught me to respect my self and others, maybe you should try it sometime! plus im not the only poster who said this go back and read. everyone has their own definition of virgin so im sorry if you do not agree with mine. hell i didn't even masturbate until after i starting sleeping with my fi. so take a chill pill and get on with helping this girl this isn't a place to debate its to help others with their problems.
wow honestly i never said i was having unprotected sex i use condoms because my new ins. will not cover my birth control. so until i change my ins it will have to do. plus my gyno. took me off BC to help get my body ready for ttc in June of next year. i took a lot of different BC to help regulate my period and it was messing up my hormones so i will be going back on a new BC in august. as if this was any of your business.
Some of these posts make me really sad...girls should really have way more REAL information about their bodies than this...
OP - If you want to "loosen things up" I'd say start with a finger, then two fingers, etc. It's free, and you'll probably feel more comfortable anyway. Then you could try a small dildo if you wanted.
Also, trying to get a mental map of that part of your body will make you much less nervous. This sounds sort of dumb, but you get a Cosmo magazine, I swear they have some "find your G-spot"-type article every single month. One of the biggest things I regret is spending wayyy too long being sexually active and not having a good enough understanding of my body - knowledge is only going to make things better!
GL!
Maybe it's just me, but these typos are really making it hard to take some of these posts seriously (especially davessamantha's). Get a dictionary, darlin'. Or just stay in school.
To original poster, if you're not gonna test drive the car before you buy it (sex before the wedding) at least be familiar with it. It'll make the wedding night so much better if you're not going in with absolutely no idea what to expect. Watch some movies, get a vibrator, do some oral, etc, etc, etc. It's all good.
Did you mean half? And who is "im"?
Good point. There is nothing worse than being single and childless by the time you are 20. And clearly, if a man decides to marry you when you are...gasp....30....he is probably faking it. Because, I mean, life is over when you are 30 - what would there be to love? It's best to just rush out there and marry whoever is available before you you ever end up there to prevent that disastrous outcome.
davessamantha1991, I would tell you that you are an idiot, but I really look forward to hearing all about your wonderful marriage down the road, and any advice you have for us "old bitter hags". Clearly none of us over 19 have a clue, after all.
Fancy that, you went back and deleted the post where you said "I'm not taking birth control and we don't care if we get pregnant because that's fine with us."
And ooooh, you totally got me! My husband is only pretending to love me. Here's a memo, dipsh*t. My husband and I met not much older than you are now (19 and 21 years old) but we had enough brain cells between us to realize it's generally a terrible idea to get married that young. Addendum math-memo: unless you started dating your FI when you were 9, you ALSO waited more than half your life for him!
ooooh, not the devil's balloons!!!
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
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Davessamantha is right, my DBF and I don't really love eachother since we are both older. We both snatched up the first person (eachother) that did a good job of pretending and went for it. Really, what is there to love about a 40 yr old woman? I mean, I'm all but shriveled dry...who could possibly love that? He has some grey hair and some crows feet starting. YUCK! It's all a big lie, but what else is a girl going to do? I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.
I'm so jealous of you youngsters and your young, clueless love!
What's your moth's name?
48 is still young and maybe the people who get married older don't even want kids. Even if they do, so what?
Also, you really don't sound very educated the way you spell, have a lack of punctuation and your grammar in general.
The 'older' people telling you that you are too young to give ADVICE are right...you don't have the life experience that they have so your advice is most likely based off of your opinion and not your experience. Age DOES matter in some situations and getting married and having babies are those types of situations. Why not be young and carefree for a while and THEN get married and have kids. Why the rush?