Good age gap between kids???

kellieandjason

So DH and I are trying to decide when we want to start trying for #2. I want them close, but yet at the same time I dont. We were orginally going to start trying at the end of the year. But after my SIL had her baby last month I kinda changed my mind and now want to wait until Jaiden is in Pre-K at least. I saw this becasue while we were at their visiting I was consantly telling him to be easy around the baby, so I figured when he was older he would understand a little better.

So my question to you all is how far apart do you want your kids to be?

Milliechel67

My brothers and I are three years apart.  DH and his sister are two years apart.  I think two or three years is great!  I imagine that gives mom and dad a little break but you're still close enough to be good friends. 

wittyschaffy

My sisters and I are all about 2 1/2 years apart (give or take a little).  It ended up being just shy of 3 years (she's November, I'm January) apart for me and my middle sister, and 2 1/2 between middle and baby. 

That being said, my baby sister and I are just now finally getting to the same "stage" in life where I feel our interests and experiences are more alike than different.  I will admit to it being tough for me to relate to her antics a lot of the time because 5 years is a big gap when you're 18 and 13.  I have always been very mature for my age which I'm sure made that life experience gap wider too.  

Now she's a genuine grownup with a mortgage, car loan, job she sometimes hates, etc. and I can talk to her again.  

juangela

My brother and I are just shy of 3 years apart and that was always a good gap.

In terms of our children, right now we are just starting with the 1 and we will see what happens . If DH's mom does our child care, we may have another in the next few years. If not, we will have to wait because daycare is ridiculous around here and we really can't afford to have two little ones at a center (where the cost is between $1000 and $1600 a month for a child under 2!). DH or I would have to stay home, something I'm not interested in doing - and we couldn't live very comfortably on my current salary alone.

With that said, I'm also ok with just having one and for right now that is what we are sticking with!

Reinedumonde

I agree with the 2-3 year gap.  My sister and I are 3 years apart and that was a really good gap for when we were younger.  We were definitely each other's best friend for the bulk of our childhood.  Now, well, I think once she graduates college we'll have a little more in common, but right now I find her a tad tiresome.

 P.S. Juangela - your baby is a mango now!

kelnyc

I agree with pp and will add that it is extremely helpful if the older child is potty trained and sleeping in a bed by themselves by the time baby #2 comes along. Imagine having to change all those diapers otherwise?? No thanks!

EMNI

There is a one year between my oldest brother and sister, but for the rest of us there is a four year gap.  I agree on the 2-3 year gap, but we'll see how we'll feel when the first kid arrives.

Karen2905

My mom did 4 years between each of us, and we all turned out well.

That being said, my sister got preganant with her second one within six months of giving birth to the other.  It was HELL for a little while, while they were younger.  Now, the girls are able to play well together, do a lot of the same activities, same school concerts, etc.  I think it's really working out well, once they were able to start school.  My siblings and I are not nearly as close as those two are, and I attribute that to age difference.

Personal preference, I say. 

Muffin'sMom

Yes, but think of the costs...and then spreading them out.  4 years is good because you only have one in college at a time, and if you have two girls you stand a better chance of more distance between paying for weddings!

krc18

I think it is all what works best for you. My sister and I are 4 years apart, but neither of us were "planned". We weren't very close until I was in high school and she was in college. She finally started to treat me more like an equal because we were on similar wave lengths. But to Muffin's Mom's comment on the weddings: we got engaged 2 weeks apart and married 4 months apart last year (oops sorry mom & dad). My little brother and I are 7 years apart and that makes him and my sister 11 yrs. That was because my mom remarried and he is her and my step-dad's son.

I used to occasionally babysit for a family that had 5 kids under the age of 6. The mom was a SAHM and she rocked it like a champ. They were THE BEST behaved kids I have ever met. So like I said, I think its all about you, your family dynamics, and your situation.

wittyschaffy

Muffin'sMom:

Yes, but think of the costs...and then spreading them out.  4 years is good because you only have one in college at a time, and if you have two girls you stand a better chance of more distance between paying for weddings!

I don't know about the wedding thing!  Baby sister and I got married 8 months apart from eachother but we're 5 years apart age wise.