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Adoption fundraising question
I wanted to run an idea by you girls to get your thoughts.
We just brought our baby home (our first!) a couple of weeks ago, and we are adopting. We hope to adopt again in the next couple of years. I never even considered fundraising before as it seemed like a whole lot of effort for likely very little return, but maybe that doesn't have to be the case. What do you think of an event that is a silent auction combined with a consignment sale? I'm wondering if we could have an event like this in about one year to raise money, and I could take an entire year to collect items to sell.
I think we could easily get a church (possibly the one I grew up in) to let us use a fellowship hall for free. For the consignment sale, I would focus mostly on gently used wedding dresses and designer items. I think that if I take an entire year to gather items and plan that I could get a lot of good stuff, as I probably have a lot of friends and colleagues who have some designer shoes, handbags, etc that they don't often wear. I know I have a few things like Coach handbags and shoes that I barely ever use, and some of my co-workers might even donate some higher end designer items. I bet a lot of people would just donate, but I could also do a consignment where the owner gets a certain % of the amount the item sells for.
I don't
know if I could really get enough things together for a silent auction,
but maybe I could. I know at least two people who would donate
weekends at their vacation home. I know someone else who can sew
custom curtains. Maybe a Celebrate Adoption photographer would be
willing to donate a photography session instead of doing one for free
for us. I could ask my dentist, veterinarian, hair stylist, etc if
they could donate services. We could provide some simple finger
foods. If we get enough stuff together, maybe we could even advertise
the event on Craigslist and in the paper.
What do you think? If you had a friend, co-worker, or an acquaintance do this, would you donate and/or attend? Would you be judgy about it if the family raising money is not of modest means? We do okay, but I think a lot of people assume we have WAY more money than we really do because of the profession I'm in. The reality is that it is extremely unlikely that we can afford to do an agency adoption again in the next few years (average cost is $25k). However, if we could raise a few thousand through a big fundraising event, we could afford to use one of the less expensive agencies in our area. Is it insane to think I could pull this off?
Re: Adoption fundraising question
i have no idea about the fundraising stuff, but i have to say YOUR SON IS SO CUTE!!!
when i saw the pics your DH posted on facebook, i was so happy for ya'll
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We're totally on cloud nine. Kelly is so cute with him. He stays at home with him during the day, and he's so attentive and just dotes on him.
Congrats on your son! He is gorgeous.
To be totally honest, I disapprove of the fundraising. Expanding your family is a personal decision, and asking others to help cover the cost is......inappropriate somehow. I would think the same thing if a family was doing a fundraiser to help fund their IF treatments. Having a child is a want (a want I completely and totally understand), but it's not a need. I think all of that time, effort and money could be better spent on a charity that is in true dire need.
If your friends and family want to help you our privately, that is their decision. But to get the community involved to help fund your adoption just doesn't seem right.
I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I don't mean it that way, I'm just offering my honest opinion.
I think it would be a-okay. You are not asking people just to donate, but providing them with the opportunity to help you through bidding on silent auction items and buying consignment clothes. If they want to just show up and give you their emotional support, it wouldn't cost them a dime. You may have better luck "advertising" it as more of a celebration of your new adoption (with a silent auction, consignment, finger foods, etc.) instead of a fundraiser, which some people may give the side-eye to.
The only thing you may want to be really clear about is that you are not a charity, and anything anyone provides to you (whether in-kind or monetary) isn't a tax write-off.
Your son is just adorable!
I'm with P&R on this, though. I don't agree with fundraising for personal decisions unless it's going through a charity or nonprofit organization. For something as personal as this, I would probably ask family and friends if they cared to help. If not, I would completely understand.
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Not at all! This is why I posted here in the first place. I'd rather hear this opinion from people on this board than have my friends talk about me behind my back about how tacky I am
Let me ask you this. If we did just a true consignment sale, where people get a certain % of the proceeds of the sale of their item, but we let it be known that we're doing it to raise money for adoption, would that change your opinion at all? People do consignments all the time just to make extra money, so it wouldn't be a donation in the way that silent auctions would. Or do you think this could still be viewed negatively?
I know a former co-worker's church held a number of fund-raisers to help cover their adoption costs. They were very involved with their church and I thought it was very sweet of them. The couple was extremely appreciative and overjoyed with the outpouring of help for them. This was in a small town in Alabama.
Having said that, I do feel it is inappropriate to approach a church that you no longer attend in hopes for fund-raising, especially for help with a second adoption.
If I were approached by a friend or family member for items to help fund a consignment sale for adoption, I would 99% of the time give them the item, and ask them to keep the funds for themselves. I would imagine this would be the case for you as well. I would then hold a big garage sale (not at a church, unless they wanted to volunteer the space). Since it's a garage sale, you don't really need to disclose why you're selling the items. If you do have it at a church, I would disclose that the money does not benefit the church, hence my hesitation to have it there.
It's a church that my parents and I attended for over 20 years. We're very close friends with the ministers and much of the congregation. My dad was an elder for many years. Most of the people at my shower were people I have known for most of my life through this church. I really do think that aspect of it would be OK (even more so than using the reception hall at the mega church where we now have attended for only a few years). We only stopped attending because the church relocated and is no longer close enough to our home to attend on a regular basis.
I 100% agree with P&R's post above. And I would still view the consignment sale negatively. I certainly don't mean to offend you, but that is just my feeling. I think if you all know that you want to adopt again in a few years, start making lifestyle changes now to save money.
I 100% agree with P&R. There are costs involved with having children (even if you conceive on your own there are prenatal/hospital/birth expenses/ child care expenses, etc.) and if the parents can't handle them themselves then they should rethink their decision to have a child or wait until they've saved enough to afford what they want. I think it's a different story if a child is severely ill and outside money is needed for treatment.
No offense taken! I was hoping for honest responses
I'm late to the party but wanted to chime in because I don't necessarily have the same opinion as most the others here. I am friends with a couple that has tried for about 5 years to get pregnant. Due to medical issues it's been determined their only hope for having a family is to adopt. While they could easily afford to raise 1 or more children, saving up the thousands and thousands of dollars to actually adopt is very difficult for them. To reach this dream of becoming parents they've been doing fundraising.
They did a yard sale a while back in which they asked friends and family to donate items for them to sell. They also advertised the yard sale as a fundraiser for adoption. Several random people stopped by the yard sale and said we don't want to purchase anything but here is $5, $10, etc to help you.
They have also done a raffle. People could buy a $5 raffle tickets to win an iTouch that was donated to them.
I don't have a problem with their fundraising efforts. I think adoption is insanely expensive and feel like families who can't afford the $20,000+ to adopt shouldn't be denied the option. Yes, you want to expand your family but you are also helping out a child in need. There would be a lot less children waiting to be adopted if the process was more affordable for the middle class. It's not like you are forcing anyone to participate in your consignment sale/silent auction. Those who do participate will do it because they want to help you.
This is generally my opinion as well. Is adoption or expanding a family a personal choice? Sure, but so is going on mission trips or serving with a charity; are you getting something out of it? Sure! But people who adopt are also opening up their homes, their lives, their families to a child in a way that a lot of people can't begin to imagine.
I'm pregnant and yes, there are expenses associated with being pregnant, prenatal care, etc, but they come NOWHERE close to what it costs to adopt because I have health insurance, and there are few similar mechanisms for families wishing to adopt to get financial assistance (some employers provide it, but it's still a large out-of-pocket, up-front expense). There's a HUGE difference between paying the co-pays and/or coinsurance and the costs of adopting.
I know a few people who have done something similar with garage sales and silent auctions to raise money for adoptions. I think that looking for ways to raise money aside from just asking for friends and family to GIVE you money straight-up is far better! You're offering to *do* something and people who may not have cash to offer can still help, which is great, IMO.
I'm not so sure about the etiquette, but I wouldn't be offended by an invitation to help another. I would hope others would be so kind to me. I think turning a challenging situation like yours into a fun event is a good idea. I think the garage sale route is a good way to go, but check out myevent.com as a way to collect funds.
Best of luck!