WWYD?

jayefay

I need some outside unbiased opinions here  

We leave for Canada on Wednesday next week.  

My childhood best friend found out last month that she is pregnant.  Her BF proposed this week and they just found out that he is being deployed on the 1st of July.  So they are rushing to plan the wedding before he leaves.  They've set the date for this Saturday, and are getting married out the tiny town we grew up in...

Obviously we'll be missing the wedding.  This whole week I was preparing for this, and now that it's set, I'm not.  It's killing me, literally killing me that I can't be there for her, and to meet her FI (we won't get in in time to see him before he's off).  She was a BM in our wedding...

So I'm going through a crazy streak of thinking of flying up for the weekend to be there.  Tickets are HELLA expensive (about $900).  It wouldn't kill us financially to do it, so it is an option.  I'm just trying to decide if I should get over this or go.  It would mean flying up Friday (not getting in until late) and leaving Sunday.  I NEED to be back to work Monday/Tuesday before we officially leave for vacation.  But part of me thinks I'm crazy to even consider this...

If you were in my shoes, knowing how badly my heart hurts right now, what would you do?   

Jillian*CBK*RJK

If you're financially set to do this, I think you should. You might completely regret it later, and that would make your heart hurt more. It is a little crazy, but what is life without a little craziness? 

CandiceNT

If it was financially feasable, I would do it. 

cnj050607

If you can swing it $$ wise, I would totally go. Yes, it is a LOT of money but if you and DH are on board then go for it. I've done similar things on short notice. If your heart is breaking then absolutely do it. She is your BFF and i am more then sure her excitement to have you there would be worth the expense.  Your friend only get married for the 1st time, once right?

I say this only because you said you have the $$ to do it. If it was going to make you fall behind on anything I would say it sucks but probably not a good thing..

 

Tayrusso

If you have the mula, I'd go in a heartbeat. 

LizR321

First of all, I think it shows how great of a friend you are for even considering flying out there in such short notice: ) So props to you for that! I also agree that if you are financially able to go and nothing else is stopping you, then go and have a great time! If for some reason, you decide not to, Im sure your BFF will understand.

jj4ever04

your friend would never expect you to go if it would hurt you financially but if you have the $ i would go. that is the best gift you could ever give her by showing up

NesJas

Like everyone else said, if you have the money to do so and it wont hurt you, then do it.

NewYorkerinAZ

I don't know what I would personally do as $900 is A LOT of money for a plane ticket BUT you said it's doable so I say go for it. That way, you won't regret it and you'll be so happy you got to see her get married AND meet her FI before he left.

homespunmetier

if i were in your shoes...i would go. she was there for you (but im sure you told her more than 4 days before it) and its prob really hard for her to be dealing with the fact that her future hubsters is leaving so quickly. sounds like it would mean the world to her if you were there too. if you know that you will be regerting it if you dont go then just go.

jayefay

You guys pull at my heartstrings  

I'm going trying to get rid of my emotional sway and think logically...  

My sense is saying that I should hold on to the money in case I want to fly up when the baby is born... 

I just get so emotionally attached to every situation, and I want to be there SO badly. 

Megamuffin

jayefay:

You guys pull at my heartstrings  

I'm going trying to get rid of my emotional sway and think logically...  

My sense is saying that I should hold on to the money in case I want to fly up when the baby is born... 

I just get so emotionally attached to every situation, and I want to be there SO badly. 

I guess it depends on what you think you will regret more: spending all that money and maybe not being able to see the baby right away, or not attending the wedding. At least with the baby, you can go anytime. You can wait for a good flight deal and look at lots of pictures until you're able to go. The wedding is sort of a one-shot deal. $900 is a LOT for such a quick trip.... but I'm also a big believer that life is more about experiences and the people you love than money. (And I'm only saying this because you said you can afford it... if you couldn't, then my answer would be totally different.)

jware1985

sorry, I am joining this a little late but i would def go if ihad the money and wouldn't be set back by spending the $900.  I would be heart broken if were to miss my BFF's wedding...

And if i were the friend i would be over the moon excited to see you at my special day and meet my fiance before he was deployed!

NesJas

Well that is true now, I know seeing her get married would be wonderful and her having her baby too. I would then chose to see her when she has the baby. Will her FI be back for that? You can meet him then.

Also where in Canada are you flying to?

jayefay

NesJas:

Well that is true now, I know seeing her get married would be wonderful and her having her baby too. I would then chose to see her when she has the baby. Will her FI be back for that? You can meet him then.

Also where in Canada are you flying to?

We don't know when her FI will be back.  It could be a short trip (only 3 months) but you never really know.  And I keep thinking...and this is really morbid... god forbid, what if something happened to him?  

I'm from Ottawa - that's where we are headed.  

NesJas

jayefay:

NesJas:

Well that is true now, I know seeing her get married would be wonderful and her having her baby too. I would then chose to see her when she has the baby. Will her FI be back for that? You can meet him then.

Also where in Canada are you flying to?

We don't know when her FI will be back.  It could be a short trip (only 3 months) but you never really know.  And I keep thinking...and this is really morbid... god forbid, what if something happened to him?  

I'm from Ottawa - that's where we are headed.  

Well I in this case, would chose to be there when she has the baby if he may or may not be there. And I was checking to see if we could get on you a Buddy pass but the flights out there suck and you wouldn't make it. Sorry.

NewYorkerinAZ

What's a buddy pass?

NesJas

Hubs works for an airline and he gets like 8 buddy passes for his friends and family to use. It's a basically a ticket for a flight but on standby and at a lower rate then a normal ticket would cost. So if Jaye's flight was wide open, she would be able to go on the flight for cheaper then 900 bucks.

NewYorkerinAZ

NesJas:

Hubs works for an airline and he gets like 8 buddy passes for his friends and family to use. It's a basically a ticket for a flight but on standby and at a lower rate then a normal ticket would cost. So if Jaye's flight was wide open, she would be able to go on the flight for cheaper then 900 bucks.

Oh ok....my SIL used to work for an airline so I know what you mean, I guess I didn't know they were called Buddy passes. haha

So, THAT'S how you guys go on so many vaca's! LUCKY DUCK!

NesJas

NewYorkerinAZ:

NesJas:

Hubs works for an airline and he gets like 8 buddy passes for his friends and family to use. It's a basically a ticket for a flight but on standby and at a lower rate then a normal ticket would cost. So if Jaye's flight was wide open, she would be able to go on the flight for cheaper then 900 bucks.

Oh ok....my SIL used to work for an airline so I know what you mean, I guess I didn't know they were called Buddy passes. haha

So, THAT'S how you guys go on so many vaca's! LUCKY DUCK!

Yeah, that's how I've always called them. And yeah that's why we get to go places.

Tayrusso

NesJas:

NewYorkerinAZ:

NesJas:

Hubs works for an airline and he gets like 8 buddy passes for his friends and family to use. It's a basically a ticket for a flight but on standby and at a lower rate then a normal ticket would cost. So if Jaye's flight was wide open, she would be able to go on the flight for cheaper then 900 bucks.

Oh ok....my SIL used to work for an airline so I know what you mean, I guess I didn't know they were called Buddy passes. haha

So, THAT'S how you guys go on so many vaca's! LUCKY DUCK!

Yeah, that's how I've always called them. And yeah that's why we get to go places.

You lucky, lucky girl.  Its safe to say I'm extremely jealous.

jayefay

NesJas:

jayefay:

NesJas:

Well that is true now, I know seeing her get married would be wonderful and her having her baby too. I would then chose to see her when she has the baby. Will her FI be back for that? You can meet him then.

Also where in Canada are you flying to?

We don't know when her FI will be back.  It could be a short trip (only 3 months) but you never really know.  And I keep thinking...and this is really morbid... god forbid, what if something happened to him?  

I'm from Ottawa - that's where we are headed.  

Well I in this case, would chose to be there when she has the baby if he may or may not be there. And I was checking to see if we could get on you a Buddy pass but the flights out there suck and you wouldn't make it. Sorry.

You're amazing just for checking  

I *think* I'm going to do it.  As long as DH is okay with it and my boss can give me friday off.

Life is too short, right?

 

Tayrusso

jayefay:

You're amazing just for checking  

I *think* I'm going to do it.  As long as DH is okay with it and my boss can give me friday off.

Life is too short, right?

 

Right 

NesJas

Tayrusso:

jayefay:

You're amazing just for checking  

I *think* I'm going to do it.  As long as DH is okay with it and my boss can give me friday off.

Life is too short, right?

 

Right 

Right, go and have fun! She will be surprised and happy.

b15chik

go, fo sho

JenniferBultman

I'd be there in a heart beat.  This is something you can never re-enact, and if it's your best friend...

Life is too short.  It's like Dave Ramsey says, Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.  You and DH have been living like no one else, so that you can now live like no one else.

jayefay

JenniferBultman:

I'd be there in a heart beat.  This is something you can never re-enact, and if it's your best friend...

Life is too short.  It's like Dave Ramsey says, Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.  You and DH have been living like no one else, so that you can now live like no one else.

 *Love* that!

Ms.Julie

I'm late to the party (as usual) and haven't read all the responses yet (you might have already made up your mind), but these are my thoughts after reading this:

jayefay:

You guys pull at my heartstrings  

I'm going trying to get rid of my emotional sway and think logically...  

My sense is saying that I should hold on to the money in case I want to fly up when the baby is born... 

I just get so emotionally attached to every situation, and I want to be there SO badly. 

I was already thinking that you'd probably be taking another trip to Canada to visit once she has the baby. Honestly, I think it would mean more to Erin to have you there once the baby is born. I know it would mean SO much to have you there for the wedding, but if you had to chose one trip or another, I'd do it once she has the baby. You'll still be able to visit with her right after the wedding, and it sounds like it's just going to be a quick JOP ceremony anyway. I know it means a ton to you, but I'm just giving my bread and butter, logistical thoughts: save the money for another trip to Canada when she just had the baby.

 Of course, I support you (AND SO WILL ERIN) no matter what you decide.

Ms.Julie

jayefay:

JenniferBultman:

I'd be there in a heart beat.  This is something you can never re-enact, and if it's your best friend...

Life is too short.  It's like Dave Ramsey says, Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.  You and DH have been living like no one else, so that you can now live like no one else.

 *Love* that!

Dang it. Sure enough, you'd already made up your mind before I posted. Oh well. Anyway, it does sound like it wouldn't kill you guys financially, so maybe you'll be able to afford another flight after the baby is born. Good luck! Let me know how it goes!

imshell

Ms.Julie:

I'm late to the party (as usual) and haven't read all the responses yet (you might have already made up your mind), but these are my thoughts after reading this:

jayefay:

You guys pull at my heartstrings  

I'm going trying to get rid of my emotional sway and think logically...  

My sense is saying that I should hold on to the money in case I want to fly up when the baby is born... 

I just get so emotionally attached to every situation, and I want to be there SO badly. 

I was already thinking that you'd probably be taking another trip to Canada to visit once she has the baby. Honestly, I think it would mean more to Erin to have you there once the baby is born. I know it would mean SO much to have you there for the wedding, but if you had to chose one trip or another, I'd do it once she has the baby. You'll still be able to visit with her right after the wedding, and it sounds like it's just going to be a quick JOP ceremony anyway. I know it means a ton to you, but I'm just giving my bread and butter, logistical thoughts: save the money for another trip to Canada when she just had the baby.

 Of course, I support you (AND SO WILL ERIN) no matter what you decide.

what a delightful set of friends you have missy