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In-laws birthdays and mother's and father's day
I wasn't quite sure what to do for my in-laws, so I copped out and signed my name to my husband's card. I love them, but we are not particularly close and calling them on the phone is sometimes awkward. Am I expected to call or email them separately from my husband? We usually meet for a birthday and Mother's/Father's day brunch and I wait until we see them to convey my wishes. But, there's a part of me that feels like I'm not doing enough. Any suggestions for next year, ladies?
Re: In-laws birthdays and mother's and father's day
In the end, I think it should be what you are comfortable in doing.
I am not close to my ILs at all. However, I do give a gift to my MIL for her birthday, and when I see her (which is not often), I hand it to her. She does the same for my birthday. For the FIL, my husband will buy the gift and put all of our names on it. I do not call either of them on their birthdays. My H is fine with this and has been for many years. What does your DH suggest?
Well, honestly, the situation varies from marriage to marriage. It depends on how close you are with those family members. For me, I'm pretty close with my husband's sister, so I usually try to make a big deal about her birthday. This year I even orchestrated a family luncheon since the rest of the family failed to make plans and left her feeling a little sad.
For my MIL and FIL though, I usually tell my husband to pass along my wishes in his phone call, and send them a friendly note on facebook. This works just fine, and honestly it's more than they ever do for my birthday etcetera. That's also another good indication: my husband's family doesn't do anything for my birthday, so I know they won't be too upset if I don't go out of my way to celebrate them.
Of course I want to be kind and pass along my best wishes, but I don't need to make my own phone call.
For in-laws, we want our families to see us as a unit. When things come from me, they are also from my husband and vice versa.
So tip 1) gague how close you are
Tip 2) respond in a manner they understand
Tip 3) let your husband handle matters with the in-laws when possible
Hope this helps!! :]
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29