Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I'm upset
My MIL was supposed to come visit MH and I this weekend. Last night he called her to confirm the plans. When they started talking, she told him that not only was she not coming, but she, SIL, HH, BIL, his wife and kids, MH's 3 aunts and 3 uncles, MH's 4 cousins (and the spouses of two of them), and MH's grandmothers were all going to the beach for 10 days.
We weren't invited. We never would have known except for MH calling his mom last night. Well, I guess we would have found out when SIL put pictures up on her fb of the vaca.
When MH started telling me this last night, I got upset and started crying because I feel like we were intentionally left out of a family vacation. He said his mom said she didn't think we would want to go because BIL's wife was going (we do not get along with her). Then she said she didn't think we would want to go because we were supposed to go to the beach for MH's birthday (not true - we are going to the beach but not til the end of August). THEN she said she didn't think we would want to go and stay with them because we have our own house down there (which to me is more of a reason to invite us - we do have our own house and some of the people could have stayed with us, including SIL and HH, who also do not get along with BIL's wife...we would have stayed at our house, of course, because that many people in a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house is a bit much).
MH's feelings are hurt too. I'm not sure what to do. I know that since I'm just the daughter in law, I probably shouldn't say anything but at the same time, MIL and I are close (or I thought we were). I just don't understand why we weren't at least invited - even if we would have said no (which we probably would have gone down for a couple of days but not the entire 2 weeks that they will be there), I can't figure out why we weren't given the option.
Am I being petty or silly? Should I be this upset??? I do know I need to stop crying about it (I was telling my mom about it this morning and I completely broke down on the phone - so much for putting on makeup this morning).
Re: I'm upset
I think you have every right to be upset. I don't think your MIL was being mean by not inviting you. The reasons she said obviously made sense in her head but when you hear them, they are beyond rediculous. In the end, she should have asking if you guys wanted to go regardless of her intent to protect you from BIL's wife. She should have let you guys make the decision and avoid all of this heartache/headache.
I think I'm going to ask MH if he'll talk to her first (and tell him he can tell her how upset I am about it). I think he will. I think he really needed a day or two to calm down about it before he said anything.
I'm thinking of emailing my SIL because I have some things for her (clothes) and just saying something along the lines of if she comes to town before they go to the beach to let me know because I have clothes for her and to have fun at the beach, wish we were going too sort of thing....but then I'm afraid that would cause SIL and MIL to get into a fight because MIL didn't invite us...
That's what I decided. I actually need to get this stuff to her that I have but I'm just going to hold off because I know that I won't be able to see her or talk to her without getting upset.