The One Who Got Away...

IndyPRGirl

This may get long...please don't judge...

I've been told everyone has THAT guy...the one who got away. 

If you don't, please don't judge -- I'm 100% in love with my husband and 110% happy right now....

But, I have the one that got away.  We'll call him S.  S and I dated a long time ago...for about two years.  About a month before my HS graduation, we started dating and dated until I ditched him for someone else in college.  Dumb move number one.  Our paths crossed again a couple of years after that and we became best friends. Again.  It was weird -- we didn't date, but ended up living together for about a year.  Like, we would snuggle and eat together and go out to movies and weddings and even sleep in the same bed, but nothing ever ever happened.  I ended up moving out and getting married  Dumb move number two.  Fast forward almost two years, I get divorced, move back to Michigan with my parents for a bit and start spending time with S again.  He had been dating a girl for a couple of years at that point, with zero interest in marrying her.  She didn't want to move to Mich and he didn't want to move to her state.  They hadn't been talking and were taking a break, so I didn't feel guilty about dating him again.  This time, it was more like a relationship, we spent time with his parents, with my parents (his mom loves me...thats another story haha).  I ended up moving back to Indy and he stayed in Mich., and got back together with her.  Dumb move number three. 

We have stayed in touch...he called me the day he was going to propose to her so that I heard it from him and not from anywhere/anyone else.  I called him when I found out I was PG and also engaged/married for the same reasons.  We talk via text once a month or so, sometimes going two or three months.  We seem to know when the other one hits rock bottom.  

Anyways...hes getting married this weekend.  Again, we are each 110% happy and would never do anything to compromise that...so please dont think that it's an emotional thing or whatever.  I guess the point of this post is just to vent a bit...I dunno.  If life circumstances would have been different....well, life happens the way its meant to and I wouldn't change a thing.  I really don't even know why I'm posting this..maybe just to vent?? To talk to my virtual friends since all of my girlfriends are out of town for one reason or another this week/weekend?  I still love him and always will...but I'm absolutely beyond happy for him...does that make sense?

Rin-Rin

i totally understand you on this. i think everyone has one. i know i did. i think it is because there is such an intense draw to each other that is why you keep in touch. when you find someone that is truly your best friend it is really hard to let that go.. not sure if this makes sense but i get what you are talking about

Suze04

I have one, too.  He and I always had this great chemistry and I felt like we could live this really great life together.

He got married a couple of years after I did and that made me a little sad, like a door was closing.  He and his wife had a baby last year and that made me more sad than I like to admit.  I felt like this was now a huge barrier to any imaginary reunion we might have, both because I wouldn't want to break up a family and because I don't want any kids myself.

He and I are FB friends and through seeing his status updates and getting that glimpse into his life, I have realized that he and I have taken very different paths.  Now I find him somewhat annoying and think it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. 

In the end, I think we end up where we are meant to be.  It seems you feel the same and I'm glad you're happy for him. 

Kasa

I don't have one, but then again I've dated my husband since I was 16.

But even though I can't totally identify, I understand what you're saying, and I believe that this can be a weird moment with him getting married and all.  It makes sense that you felt the need to vent.  I don't have any advice to offer, but I think what you're feeling is totally normal. 

charitylynne_1979

I completely understand where you are coming from. Been there and have dealt with it. That is my only comment.

jillianmb

Yes I totally understand this. ? It took me a long time to figure out what to do with those feelings - I love my husband and would not trade him for the world, but part of me will always love that "one that got away." ?I?eventually?stopped trying to push those feelings aside and learned to accept them. ?Like you I only want the best for him, but even in my happiness for him there is always a twinge of wistfulness for what could have been. ?I think it is normal and healthy as long as we talk about them with other girlfriends and not with the guy.

xDanniellex

I also understand.  We never actually dated.  I told him I liked him in high school, but he chose to date another girl.  Then they broke up and he didn't want to start something since I was graduating and going away to college.  Then when he also came over for college I was dating my future husband. 

So things never aligned for us.  We are still friends and talk frequently.  Every once in awhile I get wistful and wonder what could have been if he had picked me instead of the other girl.  Heck, I wonder what it would have been like just to kiss him!  

Obviously I'm happy in my marriage and would never jeopardize my family.  

MissyNa

I have a "one that got away". I used to think of what could've been and where we would be, ect, ect. Then I reconnected with him. His life is full of drama and there always seems to be SOMETHING wrong in his life. It made me realize that I love my husband more then I could've ever imagined! It also made me realize that I was never meant to be with that person.