Thank you question

mainemommy

Not totally sure what to do here.

I had a bunch of people come to the wedding & reception that didnt give us a gift or a card, some of them didnt even sign the guestbook.

How do I handle the thank you. I've gotten mixed reviews on it. I think I should send them to everyone who came, if of course I can find them in a picture or the guestbook. J & his Mom think we are only obligated to send thank yous to people who gave us a gift or a card because the reception was the thank you for coming to the wedding.

Need your opinions ladies!

kam626

Honestly, I've never heard of anyone sending a thank you for simply attending.  I am only sending them if we received a gift.  I would agree with J and his mom, you probably spent an ample amount of money on the reception, that should be sufficient for those who just attended. 

KSTURGIS

We're also only sending them to the people who brought us gifts. My hubby also says that the reception and favors were the thank you for attending. Which is fine with me. Since I'll be the one writing them.

sw_wedding

We are also only sending them to the guest who brought us gifts to the wedding.

MissySue20

I have been torn on this, too. We had a few people just give us cards, no money or gifts bc they couldn't afford a gift due to financial reasons. I feel like I still need to send them a TY, but after reading some of the other posts, maybe not. I am so sick of writing them anyway. I wanted to be done with them by now.

mainemommy

If I have something from them Im sending one, so even if it was just a card Im sending it. A few people brought nothing but wrote us a note in our guestbook, I feel like I should send them one too.

I guess my issue is that we're sending a picture with the card, so I feel like if they came they should be thanked & given a picture. Im torn.

 

Hwrd2be

Im sending them a thank you either way. Honestly, I didnt see very many people at the wedding though. I only know of 2 people who came and didnt give a gift. Both say they have gifts so i am gonna wait on their thank yous for a little bit.

JBs_Bride

I am sending cards to everyone.

How do you know that they didn't give a gift and it didn't get misplaced or lost in the flurry of activity on the wedding day? Or they sent a check and you never received it?

If you send a card saying "Thank you so much for attending our wedding.. etc. etc." and don't mention a gift, they'll call you and say "Did you receive the X that we sent. And if you say "no" then you've discovered an issue.  If they sent something and it got lost/misplaced and you didn't send a thank you b/c you thought they didn't get you a gift, they'll just think you're rude... they won't know you never received it.

BETHLUISE

We are only giving the people who either gave a gift or even just a card a thank you note.  Otherwise, IMO, what are you thanking them for? 

BrittBritt22

Listen to the jaybers, she is wise.

COnoviaSarah

I've had this quesiton too and planned to only do thank you's for people who gave a gift.  We only have 3 people who didn't give a gift or card, and for 2 of them it surprises me.  I like JB's answer because I really think it's possible for these 2 cases that there was an issue and this would hopefully resolve it.

marisaocho

Ditto JB.  We are sending a thank you to everyone who attended and/or gave a gift.  I think it's the right thing to do even if they were given a favor, a hug or you already said "thank you for coming" at the wedding/reception.  A handwritten thank you is always a nice gesture, gift or no gift.

msmoore80

I sent a thank you to everyone who came. I think it's your decision though. Either way I don't think someone would think less of you because they didn't get a thank you card when they didn't give you a gift/card/or sign the guest book. Here are a couple quotes I found online if you need some.

 Your presence at the wedding, made it that much more of a special occasion.

Your friendship, love and well wishes will be remembered always.

amberpro

We are going the JB way because A) She is wise and all-knowing We received a gift with no card ( a good one, too) and a card with $30 cash and an indecipherable signature.  We don't want to be rude by leaving these 2 gift givers out.  

whitneykaye87

I've flip-flopped on this a lot.  I started out thinking I'd do it like JB said, and I believe that's where I'm ending up.  At the very least, there's only like one person who didn't give us a gift, and two people that gave us cards and no gift.  It's not like it will take tons of extra time or anything.

MiniMin20

Yikes! I hadn't really thought about sending a card to people who didn't give cards or gifts, but now I feel like I should...

mypower610

I would do it even if they came. In the invitation you didn't say "Your invited....and bring us a gift", you are asking for them to come and enjoy the wedding. Plus, not knowing anyone's financial situation or anything like that, you can't expect anything.