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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Your in-laws and the hubs
Do you think the way your in-laws raised your husband has any affect on his life today?
If so..
In good or bad ways?
Give specifics..
Re: Your in-laws and the hubs
OH MY GOSH... BIIIIIG TIME!!!!
Before we got married, my H seemed like a "family man." Now that we have kids, he's much more distant. It really sucks and we're trying to work a lot on our marriage because of this. I used to be on great terms with his mom until she turned psycho - seriously psycho!!! She used to tell me how crazy his dad was. Then I found out that it was HER that was crazy. She used to go out to bars and make my H drive her there when he was only 14 just so she can drink. they eventually took the kids away from her and they lived with their dad. I don't think he knows what it's like to have a close relationship with his kids because he didn't see that as a child. It really sucks.
Growing up DH was never taught manners, respect, and how to care for his belongings.
His parents let him get away with yelling, cursing, and allowed his anger to escalate to unhealthy levels.
DH also has a hard time showing respect for others. He thinks he needs to be respected, but others have to earn his respect.
When DH was younger his parents bought him things that he showed no respect for. He ruined every car he owned until he and I got together and his room was always trashed.
To this date, everything I listed above is still an issue. He has gotten a lot better, but we still have a long way to go.
<a href="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y126/wayfastwhitegirl/?action=view
Yes, but pretty much mostly in good ways.
- His parents are divorced and now hate each other (they are both really great people, just really, really, really bad together). This has made him so determined to have a healthy and strong marriage, and I totally feel the same way based on my parents getting married really young and divorcing when we were young.
- He has his mom's sense of humor (which is awesome and fun). Well, and his dad's sense of humor too (which is just kind of different from his mom's, but he has a lot of both of them in him).
- He loves guns, cars, and airplanes - courtesy of his dad.
I don't really think it's good or bad, but just makes him Ray. 
- He has a very strong work ethic and is possibly the most responsible person on the planet. Seriously. Jenn will back me up.
- He is very respectful (which I know he would laugh at since he also always says what he thinks, but he really manages to do so in a respectful way). He is VERY respectful towards me, and does sweet things like still opening my car door, and other doors for me and other women. I love that about him, as silly as that sounds.
- Very few people who know him would know this, but he has a VERY sweet and tender and romantic side. I am pretty sure he gets this from both of his parents somehow.
- The ONLY complaint is that his family did not do vacations very often, and therefore he does not find the value in them that I do (they were very important to my family growing up, and some of my happiest memories from childhood are tied to vacations). I think they are SO important. He could take them or leave them, and totally stresses about how much they cost (like we could be using that money towards new furniture, or a new car, etc).
Yes. I love my in-laws, I seriously hit the jack pot when it comes to in-laws. They are a big part of why my Hubs is the way he is. He was born into a military family but is totally not a military brat.
- He has his mom's sense of humor and I am happy he does, because his dad's well, not so funny but he has his moments. I love that he makes me laugh and Love when he can be silly and serious.
- He loves cars and airplanes - courtesy of his dad and grandpa. Yup, he even has his Private Pilot License.
- He has a very strong work ethic and is really a responsible person. Which, kinda makes me look bad but I look to him when I need to be more responsible, especially when it comes to money.
- He is very respectful and a VERY honest person. He is a shy person at first but he will open up once he gets to know you more. I had to help him a little with this but he is awesome. And he really doesn't think he is romantic but he is.
And yes, I copied some from Skittle because well her hubs and I are almost the same.
Click Me
And OMG - yes. That's us. Word for word. haha
Hmmm lets see...
Good:
God loving man
Strong work ethic
Bad:
His mother's terrible cooking killed his palate
Can't wait to meet my baby boy!
Big time!!! H is so much more responsible than other guys I dated due to his family. He is one of 8 kids and 6 of the kids are special needs. He came into the relationship being able to do chores, watch kids, etc without being asked. He learned at a young age that everyone has to chip in and help.
He is the complete opposite of my ex-h...my ex couldn't even load a dishwasher. His mom did EVERYTHING for him...laundry, ironing, cleaning room, etc. It was a constant battle with him to get him to help around the house as he was never taught it was teamwork...it was the "mother's/wife's" job.
<a href="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y126/wayfastwhitegirl/?action=view
Your H and my H would get along! We have a 69 bug in our garage that he wants to fix up, and he would love if I helped him do that. I want that bug fixed so it is out of my garage, but I have no interest in helping :-)
I realized I only put positives. He is a great person, but in no way perfect, no one is, so I thought I would throw in a few things that bug the crap out of me, haha. He is the oldest, his parents have 3 boys and then a girl. Because the 3 boys are all close in age, he is overly competitive and can be very sarcastic. Neither of these things bother me on a daily basis, I am very competitive too and I think that it is a positive to a degree, but he is just ridiculous! It is ok to loose at Battelship buddy, it does not make you less of a man! :-)
OMG..lol
DH is soooooo competitive too! He always has to be winning or gets soooo mad! I hate playing games and stuff with him because of this.
<a href="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y126/wayfastwhitegirl/?action=view
Definitely yes!!
Bad ways: His parents were terrible role models (drank too much, his dad was a major alcoholic and drugee for years), they let him do WHATEVER he wanted (he was the oldest, mom was 17 when she had him and still very much a kid herself), bought booze for him in jr high, dad took him to the bar with him from toddler on, never taught to respect much of anyone, very "be macho and tough" type of attitude.
It's been fun trying to help him truly grow up and not take the bad from his childhood. His dad's been sober now 8 years and is finally a 'dad' again. His mom is sweet as anything, just influenced easily by whoever she hangs around at any time. Thank God he doesn't want to use the 'loose parenting' style he grew up with when we have children!! He was never sheltered and over-exposed to a LOT of things too early (drugs, sex, alcohol, violence, etc), and has had to work through a LOT of stuff because of all that. :-/
Good ways: His mom was pretty much a single mom and she taught him to love family and always put them first. He is VERY family-oriented and would do ANYTHING for his family, which I love! Hmm... that's one of the only positives I can think of. NOW his dad is a decent role model and "there" for his kids, but he never was while they were growing up. His mom tried, but trying to raise 4 kids on food stamps and bar-tending wasn't easy, but she did the best she could, I know!
Yes, and like pp's, in good & bad ways.
Good: His parents are both pastors, and he has a very strong faith, he's very compassionate, always makes sure that I'm okay-first and foremost, above all else. His goofy sense of humor is definitely from his parents, as they also laugh at the same things. Overall, they are wonderful, caring, giving people, and DH has so many of their great qualities.
Not so good: He is a Mama's Boy. His mom did everything for him. He can't fix a meal for himself. Before we were married, he would eat out every.single.meal. And as for domestic chores/duties? Lets just say there's a learning curve at times!