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Stephers will appreciate! (looong)
Yesterday was a bad day. Matt and I were having some arguments about some stuff that's been going on lately, and after we worked that out, I collapsed into bed to take a nap because I haven't been sleeping lately.
My phone rings. It's MIL. I let it go to voicemail because it's just better that way. It turns out that Matt's good-for-nothing sister is moving back from Ohio AGAIN (she bounces back and forth between this area and somewhere out there every 6 months to a year). MIL was making it sound like she wanted me to mediate to bring SIL "back to the family, where she belongs" and get her away from "those other people who are so bad for her" (MIL's niece, SIL's cousin). She also wanted me to use my influence with Matt to get him to help SIL move. Why MIL thinks I would be inclined to do her any favors, I have no idea.
Anyhoo, by this time, Matt was already on the phone with MIL. To make a long story short, SIL has been living with her cousin (the "bad people"), 5 minutes from our house, for an unknown period of time (her crap is all still in Ohio). We haven't heard from her since the wedding. But now she needs muscle, so it's yoo-hoo, Big Brother! She needs to move THIS WEEKEND and just called Matt.
Despite the fact that the last time we heard from SIL she was calling her mother all sorts of unprintable words on Facebook, blocking her phone number, and swearing that she was never going to subject herself to MIL's abuse again, she is planning to move her furniture to her mother's house to save $40/month on a storage unit until she can find her own place back here. Who thinks this is a good idea?! Oh, wait. Nobody's raising their hands...
After much deliberation, HH and I agreed that this is the worst idea ever, that both his sister and his mother are obscenely selfish and cracked clear through and are making our lives hell, that they are blatantly using us and not even pretending otherwise, but that they are still family and that therefore we do not feel right refusing to help if it is in our power.
So we're going to be making the 5-HOUR drive out to SIL's old place tomorrow night after work, crashing on her floor, loading up the U-Haul, and then driving back so we can make it to the picnic we're supposed to go to Saturday evening. SIL almost convinced Matt to call their mother and deliver the news that she's not invited along for the trip, but I put a stop to that. They both hide behind him and make him the go-between and punching-bag for their sick, twisted "relationship," and I won't stand for it anymore. They're the ones who have a problem with each other, and it has nothing to do with him, so I'm not going to allow them to suck him into their toxic mess any longer.
This week needs to end.
Re: Stephers will appreciate! (looong)
uggghhhhh...... She sounds totally awesome and you should be best friends with her!!! Yay sisters!!! I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but sounds like you guys just need to take a step back from them and let them handle their own crap. Either that or change your phone number
Yeah. Believe it or not, this is a lot better than it used to be. Matt laid down the law with his mother a while ago, and she hasn't been nearly as bad since. He was pretty nasty on the phone with his sister last night and made it abundantly clear that we are NOT happy about this.
The funny thing is that SIL actually does try to do the whole fake "Sissy!!! Miss you!!!! LOVE YA!!!" thing with me. At least she did before I killed my Facebook; now it's too much effort to contact me. After I freeze her out in the car tomorrow night for five hours, she might tone that down.
I think we're going to have to make it clear this weekend that this is a one-time deal and that she had better find or hire somebody else to move the crap into whatever apartment she eventually finds.
Well I hope you don't let it ruin your weekend plans and that they(MIL and SIL) learn to work things out between themselves without dragging you and DH into it.
I must admitt that this story makes me glad that SIL is rather quiet and keeps to herself. I wish I knew her better but at least she's not stiring up drama!
I'm really sorry you have to deal with someone like this! Of course you should be best friends with her! Didn't you know that? lol I can see where you feel a little obligation to help since she is family but I would definitely make sure she knows this is the LAST time you will help her. Next time she calls tell her sorry but you have plans that cannot be changed for her anymore.
I'm really glad HH doesn't have sisters, but he does have 2 older brothers who are married. Luckily I went to church/school with my 2 SIL's and we get along pretty well.
Oh, my gosh! I thought it was just us. Matt is the oldest and his dad was never in the picture, so his mom holds him personally responsible for the actions of his two siblings. When BIL moved down to live with his now-wife, then-GF, MIL called Matt up and told him that he couldn't "allow" his brother to live in sin. Matt was like, what do you want me to do? Drive down there, physically drag him out of the house, and lock him up for life? He's a grown man!
Everything you just said. Yes.
And oh, I will fantasize about peeling rubber out of a truck stop, watching her gape at us in the rearview mirror.
I just know that opportunities like that don't come around very often. You have to take them when they're there!
So guess what?! Matt just sent me this email:
I just received a text from [SIL] saying if she doesn't get anyone to
pick up her TV or bed we won't be going out this weekend. She'll keep me posted. I'll keep you updated.
Are you freaking kidding me?! I really hope it falls through, but this chick is unbelievable. I can't think of a single time that she has made plans with Matt and actually followed through with them. When he and I were first dating and she lived in the same town I did, she stood him up for coffee and us for church more times than I can remember. Still, you'd think she could commit to a moving date for 48 hours!
So apparently we're on standby. Kelly not happy.
Kelly, you've GOT to make other plans. She can't keep you on standby for something like this. She's going to end up calling you at the very last minute telling you she still needs you, and you're going to go out there, she won't have her sh!t together, and you're going to end up missing your concert on Saturday night. She is ridiculous, you guys aren't her personal movers - that's why there are companies out there who do this stuff. This is your perfect out...you could just say that you thought things weren't going ahead, so you made plans for the whole weekend instead.
If that would piss Matt off, just tell him you've got something important to do (aka totally lie) and go spend the day in the library.