Family gatherings

Pumpkin_Princess

Is the host supposed to pay for everything? I want to plan a family gathering, but dinner for 30 people gets expensive. Would it be more appropriate to ask everyone to bring a dish or to have the gathering at a restaurant and have everyone pay for themselves? Or maybe something else entirely? I'm leaning toward asking everyone to bring a favorite dish, but I don't want people to be offended. TIA!

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We do potlucks all the time in my family.  Typically the host provides the main dish and drinks.  All the family members bring side dishes, appetizers, desserts etc.  It keeps the cost reasonable and it allows everyone to try all manner of new dishes.  Have fun with it!

6fsn

If it's just to get together then a potluck is just fine.  If it's a celebration for something I'd plan to pay for everything.  I do food for 30+ quite often for $50-75 (bday, baptism, whatever), 

I would not invite people to a restaurant and expect them to pay.

Pumpkin_Princess

Thank you for your replies. It's not a celebration technically. It would be for Christmas, so cheap hamburgers and hot dogs really aren't going to work. Right now it looks like pot luck for dinner, or we could maybe just have appetizers and drinks if we host the party later in the evening. If we start around 7-8ish, is that late enough to not serve a full dinner? I don't want to make it too late because I want my neices and nephews to attend as well.

wejustwant2:)

Hi!  I would serve dinner at 7pm...  it could be hearty and make ahead though - like lasagna or chili or beef stew or something easy for you.

I agree with the other posts re: potluck is great too - have everyone bring a dessert, salad, appetizer etc. and you supply the main course, bread and drinks.

Good Luck and Cheers!

6fsn

This sounds like what we do for Christmas Eve in my family.  The host usually provides a more substantial offering- fancy sandwiches or wraps, a mashed potato bar, hams and turkeys are also pretty cheap around Christmas.  Everyone else in the family brings an app/salad and or dessert.  We start around 7. Santa comes around 8:30 then everyone breaks up to go to midnight Mass. 

It's quite a nice tradition.

TarHeels&Rebels

For Christmas Eve, I think you have to know your family traditions.  If you're a newlywed and want to invite DH's family, speak to your MIL to make sure you're not offending the way things are done.  In my family, there's no such thing as a potluck, but DH's family does them all the time.

Also for Christmas Eve, you need to consider church if your family is religious.  ILs go at 6pm, while my family goes at 11pm - check into which service(s) your relatives normally go to and plan around that.

Another lesson learned the awful way from ILs - you need to specify potluck dishes.  One Thanksgiving with ILs, the ONLY sides we had were three different sweet potato casseroles and two different dressings because that's what everyone decided to make. (You'd think relatives would talk, but guess not.)

mmelich

Pot lucks are always fun and in my opinion reasonable (aversion to potlucks must be a regional thing). However, if you don?t feel comfortable with the idea, or if you are still worried about money, try this tip: For holidays, plan your menu way in advance (like two months). Then, every week as you are doing your normal grocery shopping, throw something in the cart that is earmarked for the holiday. Start with non perishables (ie. Bread crumbs, chicken broth, brown sugar, etc) Then, a few weeks before the holiday start grabbing refrigerated items like crescent roles or cream cheese (things that wont spoil right away (ie. not milk). By the time the event arrives, your grocery list will be minimal and you can focus the bulk of your funds on pricier items like roasts, fresh produce, etc. In the long run you aren?t technically saving money, but it will keep your grocery budget in check. I also try to plan for very cheap dinners the week of Thanksgiving, Easter, etc to balance things out. Strategic menu planning and grocery shopping is key, as there may be big sales on items you need throughout the holidays earlier in the season. Hope this helps!!