Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Am I the only one?
I have been with my beau for almost 8 months now. When we first got together we had sex quite often. But now we live together and are engaged and having sex is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I don't really kno what to do about our sex life. I love him with my entire heart and he trys to be very understanding about my lack of sex drive but it's very frustrating.
Re: Am I the only one?
could it have anything to do with your pregnancy scare?
if not are you enjoying sex once you start? if so, just do it, the more sex you have the more you'll want.
are you on any medication? have you talked to your doc about this? (I'd definitely go to a doctor, there could be a hormonal imbalance that can easily be fixed or something else.
You're still fairly young right? you should be able to enjoy sex, sometimes it takes time to build up but if you're not even liking it when you're in the middle of it it does seem a little odd. Is there anything else going on though that could be effecting it? Stress? your relationship is going well in other aspects?
Did you ever enjoy sex?
either way really you should be getting yourself to the doctor, and you really should deal with this before your wedding and make sure your FI knows what you're going through
Definitely try the quick-fixy kind of things, just on the off chance they'll work... see your doctor, have your hormone levels checked, take a look at what medications you're taking and what side effects they may have regarding libido. Also try different positions, foreplay, roleplay, toys... read any articles/books/forums on "how to spice things up" (they're everywhere).
There are definitely steps you can take to jump start your libido, and certainly try them. But you might have to consider that you and your FI may not be compatible. You've only been together for 8 months, you may just have hit the end of your honeymoon period as a new couple and are realising you're not as great a fit for each other as you thought. Your perception of your partner is skewed when your head is all ooey-gooey about new love. You have to let that period pass before you decide whether or not to spend the rest of your life with someone... I'm not trying to sound judgemental, but two years is a really short span of time to go from meeting someone to getting married and having kids with them. You may want to just take your time and make sure everything is actually as good as it feels.
I'm not trying to say you should break up automatically, but definitely sort these kind of things out before walking down the aisle.