What do you fight about?

kthame

So, it's been close to 2 months as married folk...what are some of things that cause a tiff between you and H?

For us: there really isn't anything specific. H is extremely stressed out and is overly crabby which makes me sad. There's really nothing I can do to alleviate some of the stress, though I do try. Just wish I could *poof* the stresses away.

KabFrr

Lately it's been finances mostly. I get stressed about the money and then he gets upset that I get stressed. It's hard because I don't want to use our wedding money that we received as gifts for bills (it's supposed to be for a house), but we've got a lot going on so we might have to dip into it and it kills me. I know we'll be okay in the long run...it's just getting to the point where I know that is what I have trouble with

barrelbabe004

Some financial stuff.  His family.. Who drives me up the wall. And him not helping me around the house.

We haven't really had a huge blowup.. Just some minor fights. 

sw_wedding

We were in honeymoon faze for a little while but lately we have been bickering at each other a lot. Over lack of communication and his inability to be motivated. Most recently yesterday, huge argument because I was at work, working late and hadn't heard from him all day because his cell was dead. I get a call from him at 6:30p I was coming out at 7pm to tell me that he was gonna meet me at the train station. When I ask him what he's doing he was hanging out in his old neighborhood. No communication to tell me what his intentions were before acting on them.

andyandhillary

We bicker mostly over small things.  Like I mentioned in another post, this is our first time living together so it's just those usual getting-used-to-each other type things and communication. 

mainemommy

Mostly time.

He's working at least 55 hours a week, great for the wallet, horrible for the wife. By the time he gets home, we eat dinner, & we get the kids to bed he's snoring. I get almost no time at all with him.

Also his family. They have zero respect for me & it really really really pisses me off.

Then its my "laziness". I clean the house 10 times a day. We have a 2 year old & a 4 year old, no matter how hard I try I cannot keep this tiny place spotless with the little monkeys running around ruining it just as soon as I clean it.

amberpro

We will occasionally bicker over little things mostly because we're both stubborn as hell.  But we've lived together long enough that we've figured out how to compromise better.  We had some BLOW OUTS when we first moved in together.  Epic.  

Other than that, we have fought about money a bit (mostly a you want to buy what?  Or why do you have to eat out for lunch every day?).  We both know where we're headed, though, so that's not even a pressure point between us, just a general stressor (sp?). 

 

burnsbaby

Mostly small things when I get annoyed. He generally just says "ok" and walks away. That's when I know I'm being frustrated at something else and taking it out on him.

Sometimes when he doesn't listen to the exact words coming out of my mouth we argue about him not listening. He has this terrible habit of finishing my sentences in his head instead of listening to what I actually am saying. That annoys me. Repeat of above. Then I try to explain it again, nicer, and ask him to "listen to the words coming out of my mouth and comprehend them for what I'm actually saying to you."

MissySue20

We will argue over housework (bc I mostly do it all). We talked about it and H said he will start doing more, which he has.

We also fight about money bc even though he makes more than me, we want to buy a house soon. He spends money going out to lunch with his work buddies at least a few times a week when there are leftovers here.

The other thing that is an issue right now is H job. He really isn't happy, but we can't just up and move bc I don't make enough to support us. He will come home, take it out on me, not really realize until I ask him about it. And then he apologizes and everything. I try to be really patient, but sometimes I get to my wits end.

 

Mrs.B.Rad

We haven't been fighting too much. We really only bicker about a few things. One being his mom, who is BSC, plus his mom has a way of giving back-handed compliments, where she says things that she means positively but ends up saying something rude or awfully mean instead.

We fight over stupid stuff when we're stressed too. 

Chelsiver

We rarely fight. When we do, it's usually after we've spent time with his family. They make my anxiety go crazy and sometimes I take it out on H. It's something I've really had to work on. 

zora51

Since the wedding, we've only had one big fight. And we were both drunk, and he assumed what I was feeling and then wouldn't listen when I told him he was wrong in his assumptions! (With the being drunk, we were quite irrational!) It was stupid and pointless and made us both feel crappy.

Other than that, we've dealt with each other (at different times) being stressed, tired, cranky, without it turning into a fight. Which is how it should be.  

MiniMin20

Right now a lot of it is related to finances and home-buying -- how much to spend, when we can afford to buy. But we are pretty much on the same page now, so that has made things better.

Living with my parents can sometimes bring out some stress in us -- we feel kind of cramped, on top of each other, with not a lot of space or time to ourselves. We've had a little bickering about picking up stuff and keeping what little space we have to ourselves as organized as possible.

Also, when DH gets stressed or preoccupied with something, he has a tendency to totally shut down -- either be really quiet or snippy, or just play video games for four hours. After a couple days of this, I usually have to say something, and sometimes it's not nice! It's my own damn fault for buying him that PS3...

brookev11

As I said in PP, H let his BF move in before the wedding for a few days - he was here for 7 weeks before I actually convinced H that this was not acceptable.  BF did not move out til I finally said you will be out my today or I will throw your stuff outside....and he is gone!  I have a LOT of stress @ work and to come home when you do not want this person in your house, the kids fighting because they didn't have their own space....STRESS!

DH had a shunt placed last Oct for high CSF (brain/spinal fluid) and has been having the headaches for 5 months now again.  He does not feel good and has been grouchy from it - so we argue about that.  

With the combined issues above, I have been working extra and trying to provide for everyone...makes me grouchy.  Definitely has not been a honeymoon in our house.  But the air in our house is much lighter this morning