He can't finish with a condom on, I won't use birth control...

sunandsand

Are we doomed?

 I have no desire to go on the pill right now, we are going to TTC in December and I just plain don't want to start them up and then stop them in a few months. It takes months for my body to get used to the hormones, and I have nasty side effects during that time. Libido, weight gain (and I just started WW!), acne, mood swings...etc. And I've tried 10 different types...I'm an obgyn nurse.

So I bought the condoms a few months ago and we've tried them a few times and...no finishing for him. Uber frustrating. 

WWYD? 

LemonLover33

Family planning? If you're not nursing then this would be the best option. I'm surprised you're an ob/gyn nurse and at a loss with birth control options. 

If we use condoms, I put a dot of lube on the inside of the condom so it feels better for him. Maybe that could help.  

sunandsand

LemonLover33:

Family planning? If you're not nursing then this would be the best option. I'm surprised you're an ob/gyn nurse and at a loss with birth control options. 

If we use condoms, I put a dot of lube on the inside of the condom so it feels better for him. Maybe that could help.  

Sorry, I forgot to mention that my cycles are super irregular since having LO. I've tried NFP but I brought my results to one of the docs I work with (and I am her patient) and she advised against NFP.

stinkytwopointzero

What about a female condom or a diaphragm?

srgw

I totally understand where you're coming from! I can't use bc cause medication I take renders it useless in the preventing of getting pregnant... and we'd rather not use condoms so I've been reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and we're going from there. I also have irregular periods. GL!

diskogurl

Female condoms are much, much worse for both partners than a male condom.  I think MH used the phrase "plastic bag" when we tried it out!

 Definitely recommend a diaphragm.  Your doc should have a few in the office to fit you.

blue_elle

sunandsand:

Sorry, I forgot to mention that my cycles are super irregular since having LO. I've tried NFP but I brought my results to one of the docs I work with (and I am her patient) and she advised against NFP.

Did she say why? Why wouldn't you want a patient to understand the clear signs their body provides and be able to use the knowledge to make an informed decision about how and when to have intercourse? I know it's better for the drug companies if you buy their pills instead, but seriously this is your body and you have every right to know how to use it - regardless of what your doc thinks.

::Stepping down off soap box::

You could try diaphrams or spermacide

dirtyred

Use  a diaphragm.  It was my birth control for 20 years with no problems/unplanned pregnancies.

katieranck2202

NFP is actually perfect for irregular cycles, which may hinder your TTC so take this next few months to learn your cycle and maximize your chances.

Talk with a teacher to learn the method properly. For temp charting check out www.ccli.org and for cm charting check out www.creightonmodel.com. cm charting might be your best bet if you are still BF

Maybride2

Don't have sex again until December? Are you really an obgyn nurse?

therria4

How about the old trusty pull out method?  

Spitfire2008

You seem determined that there is no way out.  So go ahead and get KTFU ahead of schedule.  That's what you want someone to tell you, right?

DaringMiss

Diaphragm or cervical cap.

Or intercourse with a condom, finish with a blow job.

lona.hunn@gmail.com

Is the 4 months to December really going to make or break your life if you accidently get pregnant?

ZestofLime

Contraceptives sponges.

We've been using them for a little over a year and I love them.

blue_elle

ZestofLime:

Contraceptives sponges.

We've been using them for a little over a year and I love them.

Where do you get them? I've been unable to find them anywhere.

ZestofLime

Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Mayer-Laboratories-Today-Sponge-CT/dp/B002DGY1UY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=beauty&qid=1281821769&sr=8-1

CVS.com

http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/catalog/shop_product_detail.jsp?filterBy=&skuId=690247&productId=690247&navAction=jump&navCount=3

Walgreens.com

http://www.walgreens.com/store/catalog/Contraception/Vaginal-Contraceptive-Sponge/ID=prod5883290-product

etc, etc.

annabelle.27

I agree with those who say NFP. If your cycles are irregular, getting to understand them better will only help when TTC.

jengii

I say:

a) sponges (I haven't used them but everyone I've talked to that has, loves them)

b) suck it up, use condoms anyway and allow him to climax during other sexual activities (oral, anal, etc.)

c) just get KU already (like someone else said, how much difference does 4 months really make?) and get a non-hormonal IUD after you pop out the kid

d) don't have sex until December (if you're THAT convinced that you're doomed)

I'm also perplexed that you WORK in an OB/GYN office and you're stumped on this subject... do you not pay attention to anything around you while you're at work?

DreadLoc

therria4:

How about the old trusty pull out method?  

  Worked for us for two years until we decided we were ready. 

jengii

a*Lacy:

therria4:

How about the old trusty pull out method?  

  Worked for us for two years until we decided we were ready. 

I figured the first person to mention this was joking, but after this, I have to toss out for my own peace of mind... you do know this isn't a real BC method, right? You can still get KU from pre-cvm. It may "work" out of sheer luck, but that's about it.

DreadLoc

jengii:

a*Lacy:

therria4:

How about the old trusty pull out method?  

  Worked for us for two years until we decided we were ready. 

I figured the first person to mention this was joking, but after this, I have to toss out for my own peace of mind... you do know this isn't a real BC method, right? You can still get KU from pre-cvm. It may "work" out of sheer luck, but that's about it.

Yeah, it's pretty risky, but we were already commited to each other and wouldn't be disappointed if I did end up KU.  He was never able to finish with a condom either, I had bad side effects to several different types of BC, and my OB was against NFP (learned my OB was full of shiit later on) ....

blue_elle

Thanks for the links ZestofLime

I looked at all those stores a few years ago and never found any and someone told me they didn't sell them anymore in the US. I figured they were right based on the Todays' Sponges being pulled. Now I'm excited!

ZestofLime

Actually, they only came back on the market in the US a little over a year ago. I was actively following them to see when they would be sold and bought them immediately after they came out.

I forgot to mention that I have not ever seen them in stores. You'd have to get them online.

BrideinNJ79

Try Crown brand condoms.  They really are amazing.  I've tried Lifestyles Skyns and other condoms that swear to be the thinnest but Crown condoms are amazing.  Reviewers said they had to stop to make sure the condom was still on it felt so 'naked'.  I thought yea, ok, whatever.  But it's really true.  DH doesn't have problems finishing with a condom on but you can definitely tell the difference between bareback and not.  These are great!  I haven't found them in the store and had to order them online.  I got mine at www.ripnroll.com but I'm sure you can find them elsewhere.  Best of luck!

hotsummernitesdream

Try a product called VCF. It's a vaginally inserted contraceptive film.  I used it when I was younger and never had any problems.  You put it in 20 minutes before sex and it lasts for like 6 hours.  The only complaint I ever had was from a BF that said it tasted funny when he went down on me when I used them.  The are about the same price as condoms and have about the same fail rate. Might be something to look into

lifeguard

There are a couple of other places where DH can "finish".

twoweddings02

For crying out loud, get a diaphragm.  I can't really believe you're an ob-gyn nurse, because if you were, you wouldn't be having this problem.  I used either a diaphragm or spermicide for 10 years.  Then I had my tubes tied.  It's not rocket science.

MartiniChick01

Either getting pregnant now or no sex until December are your only options. 

pmcatnip

ZestofLime:

I forgot to mention that I have not ever seen them in stores. You'd have to get them online.

I've seen sponges in RiteAid.  VCF comes as a foam and as a film--take your pick.

akalutts

hotsummernitesdream:

Try a product called VCF. It's a vaginally inserted contraceptive film.  I used it when I was younger and never had any problems.  You put it in 20 minutes before sex and it lasts for like 6 hours.  The only complaint I ever had was from a BF that said it tasted funny when he went down on me when I used them.  The are about the same price as condoms and have about the same fail rate. Might be something to look into

This this this. Though my DH has never complained about the taste, you only need to put it in 15 minutes prior and they are only good for 3 hours. They were our only BC for 6+ years with no fail.