How to entertain without feeling overwhelmed?

tasha859

We recently moved from a condo to a house and since then it's been a revolving door of guests. I used to imagine myself entertaining gaggles of friends and family with ease, then I woke up. I keep getting frazzled, annoyed that everyone seems so needy, silently questioning why people have to watch me cook (and stand so close). My mother was so good at it and it's frustrating that I'm not taking to it.

CarlaAndJames

It's half mindset, and half preparation.

I try to make things that can mostly be done ahead of time, so I'm not scrambling when everyone is at my front door. Baked pastas, enchiladas, etc, are great, because you can pop them in the oven and not be standing over the stove. Try to do as much of the work as you can the day before.

The mindset half is all you - just remember it's your friends/family! Not a restaurant critic. They're probably standing close watching you cook because they want to keep you company. I know if my hostess is standing in the kitchen alone, cooking my dinner, I feel inclined to go chat with her so she's not missing the party. You just have to have a relaxed attitude about everything. If it doesn't go perfect, you'll have another shot a trying. I did a 5 course plated dinner party with my family last year, and I had to just tell myself before they came that I WOULD look relaxed and not frazzled, no matter how much behind the scenes work I had to do.

 

and, if others offer to help or bring a dish - take them up on it! 

orangeflavored

Prep as much as you can ahead. Assign someone else drink refill duty. If you have to cook while they are there, have snacks out and make food that is either quick or needs little hands on time.

jj_sbride

Here is a post I wrote on a blog about stress free entertaining....hope it helps!

TarHeels&Rebels

I was so like you when I started entertaining!

- I hate people watching me cook also, but I've realized it's often the early guests that do it because there's no one else to talk to and/or they feel a little uncomfortable.  Then the other guests arrive and go where the first guests are and soon the entire party's in the kitchen.  So I try to ask a really close friend to arrive before the party starts so she can help me with last minute things and herd the first guests out of my space. I also have one really outgoing guy friend who can talk with anybody, so I always ask him to be right on time.

- I've also realized that I need to be done with cooking when people walk in.  It's one thing to be heating up something, but it's quite another to have the food processor out and pans in the sink, etc, etc.  I try to make 80% or more of my menu make-ahead, so that the only thing it needs from me at party time is to be put into a pretty dish.

- Keep drinks and apps somewhere out where you want the guests to congregate, like the LR or patio.  Don't plan a specialty cocktail that requires you to fuss with it - just set out wine or liquor and mixers with an ice bucket.  People will go where the food is.  Make sure to have this stuff out before the first doorbell rings.

- Head to the library and check out entertaining books (near the cookbooks, in the 641s...I only know that because I have a stack of them beside me right now lol).  My favorite is this breezy, vintage read.  Just grab a giant stack of them since some of them are too _______ and not what you're looking for.

tasha859

TarHeels&Rebels:

I was so like you when I started entertaining!

- I hate people watching me cook also, but I've realized it's often the early guests that do it because there's no one else to talk to and/or they feel a little uncomfortable.  Then the other guests arrive and go where the first guests are and soon the entire party's in the kitchen.  So I try to ask a really close friend to arrive before the party starts so she can help me with last minute things and herd the first guests out of my space. I also have one really outgoing guy friend who can talk with anybody, so I always ask him to be right on time.

- I've also realized that I need to be done with cooking when people walk in.  It's one thing to be heating up something, but it's quite another to have the food processor out and pans in the sink, etc, etc.  I try to make 80% or more of my menu make-ahead, so that the only thing it needs from me at party time is to be put into a pretty dish.

- Keep drinks and apps somewhere out where you want the guests to congregate, like the LR or patio.  Don't plan a specialty cocktail that requires you to fuss with it - just set out wine or liquor and mixers with an ice bucket.  People will go where the food is.  Make sure to have this stuff out before the first doorbell rings.

- Head to the library and check out entertaining books (near the cookbooks, in the 641s...I only know that because I have a stack of them beside me right now lol).  My favorite is this breezy, vintage read.  Just grab a giant stack of them since some of them are too _______ and not what you're looking for.

Thank you & everyone else. Btw, I love when you post your party menus. I think I'm going to try your pork this week. 

wejustwant2:)

Hi!  I agree with all pp... Tarheels recs are great esp. and I would recommend this cookbook:

The Bride and Groom First and Forever Cookbook by sisters Mary Corpening Barber and Sara Corpening Whiteford.

It is available on Amazon and has a lot of great make ahead recipes.  I make their Mexican Layer Dip, Lasagna, Torte and others quite a bit for entertaining.

Also... this may get "flamed" but I use plastic plates and forks for desserts and apps.  Plastic cups in the summer and for large get-togethers.  I buy them at dollar stores. My DH also buys wine by the case (Nathanson Creek, CA) which helps us save money on alcohol.

Lately I've had a lot of guests over who are "visiting" our town pool which is 5 minutes from our house and I'm sure that like your "new house to look at" guests after the summer it will quiet down a little bit

 Cheers~ and Happy Entertaining.