To shower or not to shower?

kcrawford718

My sister is having her fourth child this Christmas. She has another girl (5) and a little boy (4), and a step daughter (3). Would it be bad etiquette to throw her a baby shower for this one? It's just been a while since she's had one, but I know showers are usually for the first born. Any advice is appreciated!
Thanks!

gvsubride05

How about getting together for lunch or dinner at someone's house with very close family and friends. Call it a girls night; a chance for her to relax before the baby arrives.   Maybe suggest that people bring a book with a note to the baby, so Baby number four has his/her own collection.

abrowneyedgirl4

Hey! My SIL is having her third baby in November and I am planning her a diaper shower. Its going to be a small brunch at my apartment with about 10 girls and its more so she can get diapers and all the replenishable items (poweder, lotion, etc.) I'm sure she has all the baby items already, but diapers and formula she'll definitely need...and that cost can really add up!!!

Linoleum

With a few very specific exceptions, I think after the first child a shower is not appropriate.  PP mentioned a girls get together for her would be nice, like a lunch or dinner.  No gifts.  

 

TarHeels&Rebels

http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/lifestyle/miss_manners/miss-manners:-a-baby-shower-for-a-2nd-child?

DEAR MISS MANNERS -- I have been invited to a baby shower for a friend's second child. The first one is just turning 2 years old. I always thought baby showers were for your first child and you used the baby items again for your second child. To me it seems they are begging for gifts.
My daughter claims this is the norm these days. What is your opinion?

GENTLE READER -- That your daughter is right: Begging for gifts is normal these days. It is also vulgar, of course. You are also right that baby showers are supposed to be for the expectation of a baby's appearing in a household not already over-run with baby equipment.

But Miss Manners makes an exception for an informal gathering of the expectant mother's close friends who are moved to make a fuss over her a second -- or fifth -- time. However, the plea that a more formal gathering for the lady's entire acquaintance, complete with those detestable gift registries, would enable the guest of honor to parcel out her shopping is not charming.

melly&jimmy

I have three children and have had several "sprinkles" with all three pregnancies.  Family and friends each wanted to do something special for me and baby.  I did feel a bit uncomfortable with it b/c I don't like being the center of attention and b/c I didn't want people to think that I was "begging" for gifts b/c that was not the case at all.  I still have my almost five year old's clothing, toys, and furniture that all three children have used.  But I greatly appreciated the thought and generosity friends and family put into making me feel special.

 I say throw your sister a sprinkle!  It's about showering her with love!  Host a small ladies only; brunch at homre or at her favorite restaurant.

babyonthebrain2010

I agree with PP.  especially considering her children are all so young!  if the next youngest child is over 10 I think it is a different story, but in this case only a small gathering would be appropriate IMO

vjcjenn1

I am going to say that it is bad etiquette...it will get the side eye from most of your invites. If she didn't hang onto stuff for 4 years...that's her problem.

My only suggestion is to host a "meet the baby" party, a few weeks after she delivers. Then people will know the sex, get to meet the little one, and they may bring a small gift. Definitely no registries

northtamarack

Linoleum:

With a few very specific exceptions, I think after the first child a shower is not appropriate.  PP mentioned a girls get together for her would be nice, like a lunch or dinner.  No gifts.  

 

 Ditto this 100%

PnkBride

Well, I believe all babies should be celebrated! I know I am in the minority, but I see nothing wrong with having a "diaps and wipes" shower for very close friends and family.  Keep it small and intimate.  I think it would be tacky if she registered. 

wejustwant2:)

I agree with this post that it is nice to celebrate a coming baby... but that shouldn't have to include gifts.  An informal Mommy and Friends Pampering day or brunch would be cute - but def' no gifts. My DH and I would have felt weird if people brought us diapers - he likes going to BJ's and spending 200.00 a month on those types of things...

This post reminds me of the Sex-n-the-city episode where Carrie looses her shoes at her friends' kid party - and her friend (played by Tatum O'Neil) buys her a new pair to celebrate her "singleness".

Heather&Ben

I come from the East Coast & it's 1 shower only but here on the West Coast, I am finding things are more laid back & different!  It's common to do a shower for 2nd babies - esp. if they know the gender & it's the other gender.  Honestly I am one to celebrate all babies regardless of placement in families but usually just do it on my own for close friends & family members...I do spend less for a 2nd baby shower though b/c they have the basics.

kcrawford718

I am loving the ideas! Thanks so much for the good advice. I think a nice brunch or small "no gift sprinkle" would be nice for everyone. She hasn't registered anywhere nor has she asked for a shower or anything. I just love to throw parties! ; ) Thanks again everyone for helping!

mypreciouscargos

Definitely have the shower. Each baby each new life should be celebrated. Not sure if anyone has mentioned it but you can have a baby "sprinkle". Although a baby shower is great too!

Celebrate each "new" mommy and new baby!

aiwanicki

My cousin is having her 2nd baby..her oldest is 5. and now shes having a little girl, and she had a boy before. So some friends and family are throwing her  a "sprinkle"( just a cute way of saying a mini "shower") just to help her with clothes, bottles, pink stuff etc