Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DD = domestic "discipline" wtf?
so, another nestie directed me to this blog about a Utah couple that practice something called Domestic Discipline. basically, the wife is punished like a child when she does something "wrong". spanked, humiliated, mouth washed out with soap, etc. it's SO sad and wrong! i cannot believe that an otherwise normal seeming couple does this. and apparently it's NOT sexual, it's actual punishment.
it's so weird. i actually got sick to my stomach reading it because of she talks about how much she bruises from the spankings. it's awful!
http://ourutahlife.blogspot.com/2010/08/domestic-discipline-journal-entry-8810.html
have any of you heard of this before? it's crazy!
Re: DD = domestic "discipline" wtf?
we've been discussing this on another message board I'm on. There was a second blog like it, but they've made it private now.
It's either a really disturbing account of abuse, or it's thinly veiled BDSM. I'm still torn on which I think it is.
It has been all over the Nest this weekend.
I don't know what to think. Clearly in this case, it is not consensual and that is the main problem I have with it.
I can't really wrap my head around DD though. I could never "submit" to my husband (and I could never have him "submit" to me). We are 100% equal in our relationship and I couldn't be with anyone that wanted me to do that.
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WTF?! I have never heard of this, and I am absolutely appalled that something like this could be happening. It takes all kinds...
It doesn't even seem real....I seriously cannot wrap my head around it!
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Ironic that in the Blogspot header there is a place to "Report Abuse".
The whole situation makes my insides boil. I want to shake some common sense into this girl. And actually into HIM too - who thinks it's okay to do these things????
I don't know why but I am surprised at how "normal" they look. I guess I'm not sure what the face of a DD couple should look like but I wouldn't have imagined them...
eta: She's in law school?? That surprises me too.
She's so cavalier about this...that is what gets under my skin the most. It's "normal" for them. Gross. Blech. Barf. Ugh.
In addition to all of that, things have been going awesome. Parker is doing great at work (although, his schedule seems to get worse by the week) and behavior wise I've been doing pretty good! I think I was finally able to get my snappy attitude under control. I managed to go most of the summer without getting in too much trouble, which is awesome and I'm pretty thankful for that. Lets just hope the fall is as good as the summer
I'm apparently fired up over this!
This is NOT consensual. Not even close.
My punishment: As I wrote last night, Parker put me in our bedroom all night to think about it. I really wasn't sure if he was going to spank me or not, but he ended up choosing to do so. It really wasn't supposed to be that severe but due to me moving around and continually telling him to stop during it, it got to be pretty bad. Parker used a belt and a paddle, although he ended up having to use the belt for most of it because I just couldn't hold still and cooperate like I knew I should have. He spanked me bare, over some pillows on our bed. I didn't really count the number, but it was a LOT of times. I'm still pretty sore, but trust me-- I'll never do that again. I definitely learned.
I thought the same thing.
This is crazy. Extremely appalling and disgusting.
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DISTURBING!
Reading that makes me want to get in the car, drive over to DH's work and give him a huge hug and a kiss for being the kindest, most gentle, caring husband in the world!
HOLY COW. And I can't believe this chic is so brainwashed to believe what's happening to her is ok!
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Here's the CDD website: http://christiandomesticdiscipline.com/
The part that pisses me off the most is- how does the HUSBAND get disciplined? Or is he the almighty perfect being?
This is my opinion.
How could this NOT be classified as Domestic Abuse? If this blog is public knowledge, why isn't the state pressing charges? Do they only allow that if SHE presses charges? I do not see how this is any different than punching someone. WTF?
She is obviously not consenting to it, so why the heck does she stay and put up with it?
I don't think that it would be fair to pass judgement on how they should or shouldn't look, and realize that there are crazy people and things that happen all the time. It wouldn't surprise me if it was MUD, but I also know full well that there are plenty of outrageous and crazy weird things that happen in the world all the time.
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As I said above, I think it's fake...
But, assuming that it's real for just a minute, I'm genuinely concerned that if they have children (either male or female but especially female children) they will get themselves into an abusive relationship and believe they're getting beat up as "punishment" because their boyfriend loves them, and not see it for the abuse it is.
There would be no discipline for the husband because he is the head of the household, so any/every thing he does is for the betterment of the household and there should be no questioning of his doings/intentions.
I think it's BS and I feel so bad for this girl, if it's true. However, for all the people that call MUD, even if this case isn't true, there are plenty of households that practice DD.
If it were true, I wish she would get help and get out of the situation.
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I've been to a few weddings that were pretty heavy on the "wife should be submissive and pop out babies" business and it made me squirm in my seat. So much so that I made it a point to add "equal" to our wedding vows. :-) I am in no way submissive - no sirree!! Like an OP, I'd like to believe this is fake but I think there are people out there that are THAT wackadoo and misguided.
First, just because they're "pretty" and "normal" looking doesn't mean they can't be practicing this "practice". The statements that it must be MUD because they're normal looking are kind of off base, IMHO.
Second, the definition of abuse is anything that causes injury. A bruise is injury, therefore, domestic discipline is abuse. Consensual or not, it's abuse and abuse is illegal. And as soon as she begs for him to stop, and he doesn't, it's non-consensual. Even in healthy sexual-dominance relationships, couples have a "safe word" that immediately ceases all activity.
Whether or not this is MUD, there are hundreds and thousands of people out there practicing this "lifestyle".
As for pressing charges, I believe it varies, some places require a woman's (or man's) permission to press charges and some don't, though even if they don't require her go ahead, the likelihood of anything being prosecuted drops considerably without the woman's testimony.
I think that is is completely a sexual thing. They are both getting off on it. and getting off on sharing the info.
I am sure there are extremists out there and men/women who take it too far into abuse- but I think playing the submissive role, the I've been naughty role is a game.
I think writing it becomes even more of a turn on for them because they see and read how others disapprove. The whole thing is a sexual fantasy for them.
Just my opinion!
Probably not MUD, I am sure it happens. I only read a few pages ? switching screens as co-workers walked by?. Does she ever say why she does it? Is she able to ?discipline? her husband?
I swear this has to be slightly sexual for the girl ? yep, I think the girl gets her rocks off to this. Something like ?all the pain make the love more worth it? she does talk about being held and rubbed after the punishments. I think it is a little sexual and mostly power trippy for the guy. Poor girl, she must have some issues. I really hope she snaps out of it one day and says, ?no, you go get a switch and pull down your pants.?
Since Dawn mentioned it, I just want to clarify that the reason I think this particular blog is fake has nothing to do with how "normal" they look. Everything about this particular blog just seems a little too manufactured to me.
The more I read the blog, the more I am beginning to believe this as well. This entry especially:
http://ourutahlife.blogspot.com/2010/06/domestic-discipline-journal-entry-6610.html
It is a bit graphic, so beware. To summarize...he makes her stand in the corner naked before and after he spanks her with a switch (that she has to pick out). I also wouldn't be surprised if this was MUD, but who knows....either way, it's f'd up! Can you imagine if your fiance/husband brought up that he wanted to do this after you were married?! I cannot fathom how she would agree to this unless she gets off on it...who knows!
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