Entertaining Ideas
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Dinner Invitation issue-WDYT?
My DH and I invited another couple over for dinner and dessert tonight (we invited them on Thursday to come tonight). The woman responded last night that tonight wasn't good but that they could make it Monday at 7. I didn't invite them for Monday, I invited them for tonight (Saturday) because I had food ready to be made that was enough for 4 people. I think it's totally rude for her to decline then invite herself and her DH over for another day and time not knowing what we may be doing that night. My DH doesn't think this is rude at all. Opinions?
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Re: Dinner Invitation issue-WDYT?
If it's not rude I would say it's at least very bold. If she had to decline, saying something like "I hope we can get together sometime soon," would have been better.
What are your plans for Monday? Do you want to have them over for dinner? If you can have them over, I might make a point to ask her to bring something for dinner.
Good luck with this. It's amazing when people just do not understand social etiquette.
Hi I'm new to this board, but as I'm planning a dinner party myself right now, I thought I'd reply...in my opinion, if it was just a casual get together with friends you are close to, then their suggestion of Monday night isn't rude, it just happens to not work for your schedule.
Doesn't sound like that's the case though, so yeah, let's say it was presumptuous. But, just chalk it up to the idea that this couple would love to get together with you, which is prob why she suggested another night.
Just tell her Monday won't work out this time, and you'll have to make plans in the future...if you want to.
We have conversations like that all the time with other couples. "Darn, can't make it tonight. How about Monday?" No biggie. She probably didn't think you had spent big money on perishables (the only reason I could guess you'd be as upset as you are). If you had told her it was going to be an elaborate, formal affair and she rescheduled, then yes, rude, but this sounds like it was just casual dinner with friends, so not rude at all. She gave you 24 hours' notice, too, if I'm reading right, so that was decent of her - you could have put everything in the freezer.
Even if she didn't say "How about Monday?" and just said, "Let's do Monday," you still have the right as the host to say whether that works for you. I sincerely doubt she thought she was steamrolling you.
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To me, it would depend on how close you are with these people. Best friends? Not a biggie. Second time you're hanging out as couples? Maybe a little rude.
I can see where you might think it's pushy, but I don't think it was by the way you described it....I actually think it is nicer than just saying no and may have done something like this myself....In my opinion by suggesting another specific date she is saying "I really can't make Sat, but still would like to come over" as opposed to the open ended suggestion of "some other time", which can sometimes be code for "I really don't want to go so I'm going to keep putting this off...." If Monday really doesn't work for you, then I would just suggest another day...
Anyway, I hope it all works out and you guys can get together soon and have fun!
I agree with this. I don't think, the way you described it, that they meant for it to be rude. Sometimes, we are so anxious to say something, it comes out sounding different than how we mean it. In her head, she might've been thinking, "Crap, we can't hang out Saturday, but I wish we could. We're free Monday, and maybe they are too." Maybe she was so eager to be able to reschedule (because they really want to have dinner with you) that their eagerness came off as pushy? Just my thoughts...I've done that before.
It's hard to say based on how it's described -- I can see both sides.
Like most PP suggested, if it was my BFF, I wouldn't care at all. If it were a new acquaintence, I might feel like it was pushy. Regardless of relation, if they said "Would Monday work instead?" I'd be okay with it, but if they said "No, we're not coming tomorrow, we'll come on Monday" I might feel a bit ambushed/upset.
It sounds like maybe you were a bit uneasy about having them over as it was -- you did say the reason you invited them was because of perishable items that happened to serve 4. Is that the reason this situation feels awkward? Because it was sorta "forced hosting" to begin with?