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Heard of a shower by mail???
I posted a couple weeks ago about a shower for friends that have a small circle of friends here in town.
We've narrowed down the shower idea to either a girls only brunch then pedis or a couples brunch and then the guys split up to do a guy activity and the girls go for a pedi.
Another friend read about a shower by mail where you invite their close friends that we know cannot make it but ask that they mail their gifts to one of the hostesses. At the shower, she can open all of her gifts at once where we can either video tape them opening gifts or take a pic of them opening their gift to send to their friends. I'd ideally like to get a pic of mom & dad to be to mail out their Thank You note.
Asking their other friends to send their gifts to our house feels a little gift grabby but I feel certain that they will want to send a gift and wish they could be here for this special time. What do you think? This wasn't the mommy-to-be's idea and we'd like it to be a surprise to them to enjoy a moment of being showered with gifts and good wishes even if not in person.Your thoughts?
Re: Heard of a shower by mail???
In general, I think it's a bad idea.
I see a couple of options that would be "acceptable":
1) If they're that close of friends to the mama-to-be, invite them. Not "by mail" - just a normal invitation. Three of my best friends in the entire world live (at the closest!) 8 hours away. If I weren't invited to their baby showers just because I live at such a distance, I'd be devastated.
2) Spread the news via word-of-mouth if you have mutal friends. Leave it up to them if they feel compelled to send something. Example: I knew a girl in college who recently had a baby. She and I were close while we were undergrads, but drifted to slowly becoming facebook friends who saw each other infrequently. However, we have a mutual friend who we both stayed close to. Said mutual friend told me about the shower -- I sent a card and a small gift to the mama-to-be via the mutual friend.
I find this very tacky. Either send a regular invite like pp said or nothing. If these people are the mom-to-be's friends they know she is pregnant and will get her something even if they aren't invited to "mail only" shower.
One other thing- Be sure the mom is up for the pedis. Some pregnant women won't do this.
I have not heard of this, but we have done a shower for a mom-to-be that lived out of town (H's cousin who lived 12 hours away). We told her we wanted to have a shower, but she was on bed rest and wasn't able to make it up for anything before the baby was born. So,we had the shower and took lots of pics, and the cousins and I put them in a scrapbook for her that got sent with the presents along with the grandma a week before the baby was born.
I think you should send them regular invites, and let them decide. I know if it was a good friend of mine, I would call you or someone else who was going, if I could mail my present to be there for the shower. One of my bridesmaids at my wedding had to do this, since she lives in Florida. Her mom lives up here and was invited to my shower. My friend called a few days before my shower to let me know not to worry (hadn't even thought about it really) that her present for me was coming via her mom.
Whatever you do, I would take lots of pics at the event. And make sure you send the girls that can't come (whether or not the send gifts) lots of pics to let them know you were thinking about them and wished they were there.
Our Share of the Harvest:How a couple cooks from a CSA share. Pick Up Day Week 15
And I also agree that I'd still like to be invited for a close friend's shower even if I can't go. We'll think of another way to include their far away friends!
Just send them an invitation. It's really as simple as that. If they would like to send a gift, they will, if not, they won't.
Ok... so CALLING it a "shower by mail" is basically calling it "please send me stuff."
Instead, throw a shower and invite the people you know can't come because of distance, out of courtesy... and if they really wish they could be there, and want to contribute, they will send presents or send a present along with another guest. This way you get stuff, they feel like you wanted them there, and they can send their good wishes, too!