Vent/Whine: straight weddings

berriesnpie

I'm about to head off to yet another straight wedding where we will probably be the only LGBT couple there and know no one but the bride and groom. This is the third this year and for some reason, I'm feeling irritated about it. I like weddings and I'm excited our friends are getting married but I find it exhausting to be the only queer people at a big event and have to deal with disapproval from the parents' generation, curiosity from the younger guests and random creepy guys. I am always amazed at the ultra-personal questions people think are appropriate to ask. Ugh.

 

cookiemonster03

I don't feel like we've ever been noticed at a straight wedding. We don't always dance depending on the setting, but I've never had an issue...

hedgefun

We've had some issues depending on the family/wedding.  I was in a wedding last year and almost dropped out because DW was being treated much differently than the rest of the spouses of bridemaids & groomsmen (and I felt like my best friend should have known better, or at least should not asked me to be in the wedding if she knew there would be issues), and it was pretty terrible.  

We've gotten some eye rolling a few times, and other times friends have told us that people at their table were saying not so nice things about us (not realizing that our friends were sitting with them, obviously).  We've also had weddings where it's been a non-issue - it just depends. 

In any case, we just try our best to ignore it - which is hard sometimes.  We try to keep a "We're going to have a good time, so what if people don't like it" mindset.  We were invited as a couple just like any other guests, and if other guests take issue with it, too bad.  It is hard though, especially when you feel like people shouldn't have a reason to be judging you or asking ridiculous questions.  But I definitely agree with you that there can be problems and what's intended to be a good time can be turned into a mentally straining event.

2dBride

Tell me about it!  My son will be getting married in March.  The bride's father (known to all, including his own daughter, as "that a**hole") is known to be homophobic.  NotFroofy and I will likely meet him for the first time at the wedding.  My attitude is pretty much going to be, "I'm the groom's mother.  NotFroofy is my wife.  Deal with it!"  But I suspect it's going to be pretty stressful.