Who's responsible for entertaining ILs??

DomesticAtty

So MIL and her annoying BF are visiting from out of state for 8 DAYS!! MIL is ok, but the BF is abrasive and intrusive (leans over my shoulder to tell me how to put sauce on the lasagna, went out and bought my dog a choke collar and began to train her on it!!!)

So the stick up my butt is that DH acts like he is super excited for them to come visit, but won't take the time to hang out with them. I am currently (and unsuccessfully) job searching, so I am home for the time being. DH will not take off work or alter his workout schedule to spend more time at home with them. (he has the vacay days). I know MIL doesnt mind DH is doin what he has to/wants to do. But he assumes I will entertain them and cook and take them where they want to go. Just engaging in conversation with them (more the BF) is kinda exhausting....so I wish he would come home and help me. Blah!!   Do your Hs take the lead when his family comes to visit? Or if I sound like a selfish biaatch, feel free to flame away...a little,I'm still new around here

Steven&Jamie

Honestly, my ILs never visit, but if they did they sure as hell wouldn't be staying at our house for 8 days.  That's what hotels are for....so maybe I'm a selfish biatch?

prettygirl06

If this is your dh's mother and her boyfriend, why are you doing all the entertaining? Your dh should help as well and I think you should tell him so. Yes, exercise is important but his mother is only here for an allotted time, schedule it in at a convenient time or otherwise figure something else out.

When our families visit we both contribute, it's our families and he has just as much to do as I do. 

Snowful

When the ILs are in town, BF definitely takes the lead as far as entertaining goes.  We both contribute to doing things for them, but I can't imagine him leaving everything up to me.  The same is pretty much true when we spend time with my family - I'm the one who puts the plans together.  Have you talked to your DH about this?  8 days is a VERY long time with ILs....

DomesticAtty

Yes, I have talked to him about this. His response is pretty much the classic, "I have no idea such things are expected of me, unless you spell it out for me word.for.word."

His second excuse is that his mother understands his job is stressful and wouldn't ever expect him to take time off. He did agree to lay off the working out for the week.

 Countdown to Sunday...

Dannyand Allison

DomesticAtty:

Yes, I have talked to him about this. His response is pretty much the classic, "I have no idea such things are expected of me, unless you spell it out for me word.for.word."

Spell it out for him and tell him how you'd like it to go. You're going to resent him if you continue to do all the work. And I totally agree with Jamie, hello Holiday Inn.

amanjay

We are each responsible for our own parents. I don't mind either set staying here, but I know we all need alone time, too. My parents accomplish this by going to bed early to watch TV while they're here. DH's parents take long walks around the neighborhood.

ShansBride

I agree with Jamie!  I would be giving H the names and nubmers of a few hotels near you and tell him to give them to his mama so she can make her reservation.

I think though, that it is his responsibilty to entertain his parents, unless you want to go out with his mom for the day or something.

mpolston

I'm in this situation a lot, but never for that long. 8 days is a LONG time for the ILs to be at your house. A lot of the time, my ILs schedule to come when H is on his 4 days off from the station, but somehow, they ALWAYS find a way to show up a day early when I have plans or I'm not going to be home. Which, I usually have to rearrange my plans. When they come, I feel like I have to do a lot of the entertaining. H just says they don't care what we do, they just want to be here. Yes, that's probably true, but I feel bad/awkward if we aren't doing something. Granted, when they come when LO is born, they're going to have to deal with not doing much. I would tell him exactly what you expect of him while they're at your house. It is his responsibilitiy, because it's his parents. He needs to take the time to be there and do a lot of the entertaining.