July 2010 Weddings
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MIL Vent. (long)

Okay so clearly I cannot FULLY vent to H about HIS mom. I have been talking to the girls at work but I'm sure they are tired of hearing about it

SHE IS DRIVING.ME.CRAZY!!!

First off, ever since we got married I swear her wholeeeee attitude towards me has taken a turn for the worst. I started noticing when H & FIL got to go to Comerica Park for the baseball fantasy camp thing where they get to go out on the field & play (its awesomee!!) well we got to go & watch. Long story short they have hugeeeee lights all around the park & once I noticed how sparkly my new rings were I snapped a few photos of it :) what does she say? "stop taking pictured of your rings" & I thought she was joking but when I looked at her she was dead serious. Okay, whatever I let that one go.

 Here's what I cannot freaking take anymore...

 We're buying a house, our closing date is October 20th. She has said crap about the TYPE of houses I was looking at, then she complained about the realtor we chose, then started complaining about the loan company were going with (which I have 2 family members working there), the TYPE of loan were getting & every little freaking thing!!! She has been butting her damn nose in every single detail she thinks she can! All the stuff about our interest rate, our PMI & all this stuff that is NONE.OF.HER.BUSINESS! She then got her calculator out & started saying oh youre house payment is gonna be over $1000 & all this crap. Well lets just say, SHE WAS WRONG & WAYYYY OFF. again keep your nose out of it!!!

So once we found out we got the house we wanted we took them over with our realtor to see it. H says "mom what do u think about the house?" she says NOTHING & just shook her head up & down. FIL LOVED IT & even said "I wish we could have gotten a house like this for our first one"

So needless to say I have been avoiding her at all times, any conversations or run ins I avoid like the plague. Well its been irritable btwn the two of us to say the least. Even H has noticed so I finally confessed she was driving me nuts!!

 Finally, yesterday I decided to be the bigger person & try to be friendly & ASK for her advice/help on the homeowners insurance stuff. So what does she do?? Starts saying crap TO THE LADY AT THE INSURANCE COMPANY "I knew their rates were going to go up if they lived in X city... Y city is way cheaper because it has a lower theft rate" & then once she gets off the phone starts telling me we should start looking for a different house & blah blah blah. I said "NO. WE LOVE THAT HOUSE" & she got all bitchy & walked away. ughhhhhh so I just shut up & left it at that cuz Im not gonna deal with that *** anymore she pisses me off so freaking bad!! She makes my anxiety go through the roof as if I didnt have enough already!

Woooooooooo I feel SO MUCH better & if you made it this far, congrats here's a shot! ;) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Re: MIL Vent. (long)

  • I am sorry that you are having a tough time dealing with your MIL since getting married.  My only advice is to not ask for her opinions or input on anything house related.  She is probably still going to add her two cents, but at least you are not walking right into an issue when you ask.  It sounds as though she may be worried about your finances and this is how it comes out?  I don't know.  And maybe she's a bit jealous?  I hope the situation improves for you over time!  Good luck!  And don't let her ruin your excitement for your new home!
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  • I haven't asked her for any advice/opinions/thoughts or anything until yesterday about the homeowners insurance. that was all & shes been this way ever since we started going through the pre-approval process.
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  • I would talk to DH about the whole situation. Just explain to him the things she says or does that make you feel the way you do. Do it calmly and don't make attacking remarks about her or he may feel like he needs to defend her.  (ex: she drives me freaking nuts) While I'm sure she does (believe me I know how it feelsWink) you just need to explain that she has hurt your feelings and upset you for X reason and it's gotten to a point that you don't want to have contact with her and you avoid her because of these situations.
    This is where DH needs to talk to his mom and so kindly but firmly tell her that while you both value her opinion if she doesn't have anything nice to say, she just needs to shut her hole Big Smile
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  • imageLisa_07032010:

    This is where DH needs to talk to his mom and so kindly but firmly tell her that while you both value her opinion if she doesn't have anything nice to say, she just needs to shut her hole Big Smile

     THIS.

    And i think you guys will have to stop sharing all of the details of important things (especially finances) with you MIL. She obviously cannot keep things to herself and feels the need to make you feel crappy about it or give you stress. So if she's drilling you two for financial details (PMI, insurance, prices, mortgage rates, etc), just dont tell them to her! That would solve some of the issues. So yeah, she can complain that you dont tell her things, but they're none of her business anyways.

    AND PS. We're all happy for you and your DH with your house.


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  • I totally agree with Lisa and Kim. Talk to your DH about the situation - maybe he doesn't know or realize the full extent to how his mother is behaving. He should be the one to say something to her about how she's being horribly inconsiderate. Also - definitely a good idea to keep the details of your loan private. Nobody needs to know that except for you and DH.

    I'd also just keep any more house information to yourselves. She clearly doesn't know how to be happy for you both.

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  • Thank you girls!! :)

    I have tried talking with H & all he says is "shes bought a house before shes just trying to help us" & I keep telling him "well she doesnt need to be mean about it"

     ***Besides.... Im not & havent been sharing anything with her. H & her work together at his dad's transmission shop, so I am sure she is grilling him everyday for info. ughhhhh its sooo annoying & frustrating. so to pacify her he just goes along with it.

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