Caribbean Nesties
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When do you dislike your H?
I realize that we're all married to Prince Charming, but when do you dislike your H?
When he's sick?
When he's around his family/friends?
When he drives?
When he's sick?
When he's around his family/friends?
When he drives?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Re: When do you dislike your H?
DEFINITELY when he's sick. It's always something major, it could never be allergies or sinus issues.
And he has gotten pretty aggressive behind the wheel since moving here, but Boston drivers are idiots, so I can't really blame him.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
When he's on the phone with someone other than family or friends. He suddenly adopts this weird voice and I'm just like I DID NOT MARRY THIS DOUCHEBAG!
When I drive. But I'm a really terrible driver.
The nerve!
House | Blog
When he's sick he is the worlds biggest baby and is 100% convinced he's dying from a cold.
When I'm driving. Especially when I know where I'm going and he convinces me to go a way that gets us lost. HATE it!
When he calls me from work. He works with a bunch of jerks and acts a fool when they're around. Tries to sound tough or something and it just makes him sound stupid. I just don't pick up.
When he drives. I am a control freak and after living in both Chicago and Boston, I don't put up with shiit on the road (aka I have road rage) and can be pretty agressive.
Also, sometimes I feel like his family takes advantage of how much he'll do for them and they call him for the smallest things. For example, we were out of town this weekend and his brother called him 4 times on Saturday afternoon to ask him to "walk him through" how to hook up a cable box.
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
Ohhhh and when he hangs out with this particular friend back home, M. M is nice and he's a good guy, works hard, getting his MBA, yadda yadda, but he also plays hard. He's at the bar probably 5 nights a week, and he also has "land" that he, I don't know, shoots things on. It's weird. He hunts but I don't think he hunts on his "land", he just shoots targets or something? It's very rednecky.
Anyway, we're going home to visit in 2 weeks and while I'm at the Bills game, he's going with M to shoot crap. I do not understand.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
Mine has gotten so much better about the driving (it helps that our commute dropped from 45 minutes down to 10), otherwise that'd be on my list.
I dislike him when he gets really lathered up about something political. He can debate just fine, but occasionally he gets so worked up that he starts spewing the same blind hatred he accuses the other side of doing. Not everyone with opposing beliefs is a racist FOX-worshipping inbred religious nutbar! He knows this, but he's prone to forget.
ETA: Oh yeah, I also dislike when he's not able to just suck it up and be polite to someone. We had a couple Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door the other day (it was my first time ever! so exciting!) and I breathed a sigh of relief that I was the one who answered the door. He would have been a jerk to them even though they were perfectly nice ladies. I listened to their schpiel politely, and when they offered me their pamphlet I said, "You know, to be honest, I'm just not going to read it. You should keep it for someone who will." They appreciated my honesty and went on their merry way. My H could never do that.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
when he doesn't give me oral pleasure before sex
when he smokes a cig with my internet friend's husband and then tries to pull a teenage trick on me and brush his teeth before I smell him. DON'T MAKE ME YOUR MOM. WINGED SMASH
2/20/2011
when he has bare feet, he has giant big toes and they freak me out.
When he drives. He's a distracted driver and slow. It's like driving miss Daisy.
When he doesn't clean up Maggie's booster after she eats. I like to leave the chair and kitchen tidy after meals and he doesn't see this as a priority. Then I go to plop her down to eat and her seat is covered in cheese, or cheerios.
He leaves his work shoes righit by his side of the bed, which is a high traffic area. I trip on them regularly.
When he's drunk. He gets very argumentative, wants to debate STUPID shiit to death, and generally acts inappropriately.
Luckily this happens like once or twice a year, otherwise I dunno if we'd be married.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
Sorry my H is a bad influence on your H.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
this, but not internets friends. he's even snuck out with MY FAMILY and then come in smelling like Altoids. I'm not stupid, Jerkface!
when he's with his mom(s). He really has some mommy issues and totally clams up and acts like we have to rush home and it makes me feel like they think I am the reason for it or something. He's totally cool around my family and several of my family members (like my mom and 2 of my sisters) have remarked how different he is around his moms. I've suggested therapy and sometimes he's like, "Yeah, I can see why that would help. I should." And then later he's all, "F that noise, let's just never see them again." We have great insurance, so cost isn't a factor. GO TALK TO SOMEONE.
When he's sick for sure. He is a gigantic whiny baby, but he takes such good care of me when I'm sick that it balances out.
When he's trying to do anything involving technology. He's techtarted, so I wind up having to help him even though he swore he was going to to do it.
When he goes to pick up ANYTHING from the store. I always get a phone call because he A) can't find it
doesn't know what kind to get C) insert random question here.
I love you man.
But seriously, the gum/teethbrushing thing, what is that? I mean, I thought that worked when I was a teenager, but he is a grown ass man.
When he wakes me from a nap by saying the dogs name over and over again in a high pitched voice "Norkie, Norkie, Norkie! I love you Norkie!" Ugh.
When he watches football and screams at the TV as if he was in the stadium. "GO! GO! SACK 'EM ! F'n DAMN, STUPID ASS!"
When he drives and I have to fake brake the entire trip.
When he starts a project outside but then decides to make a Margarita or three and passes out on the couch with the project no were near done and a total mess.
and H is sporting a full beard and doesn't realize that when he goes in for a kiss, no matter how minty fresh his breath is, his beard smells like an ashtray? um. DUH. At least when I hid smoking from my parents I carried those wetnap thingies and wiped down my mouth/face/hands and sprayed Love's BabySoft.
it's mostly because I would probably LOOOOOVE to have a cigarette with a big glass of wine but I CAN'T. I never want to be a smoker again, but once in a very great while, it would be so enjoyable. I just really like it. ugh. their mellow taste really does satisfy. lol
He is the loudest chewer. ?It sounds like he's breaking down cars for the junkyard.
When he argues just to be 'right'.
When he lets his toenails get gnarly and doesn't clip his nose hairs.?
Another vote for 'when he drives'. He drives like 5 miles under the speed limit all the time. It makes me crazy.
Also, when he needs very specific step-by-step directions to get anything done. I can't just say, "get Miles ready for bed". I have to say, "give Miles a bath actually using soap, rinse the soap off of him, take him out of the tub, dry him off with his towel, put on a new diaper and pjs, feed him a bottle, and put him into the crib". He's done this a million times, yet he still doesn't know what 'get ready for bed' means.
When he drinks: he's very annoying and asks the same question or tells me the same thing over and over again.
He's very handy, and does lots of projects around the house, HOWEVER, he's more interested in starting a project than completing it all the way. He redid our main bathroom two summers ago, but finally put the shower door on this August, in the meantime completing two other big household projects.
Winged, Twan would like to join your Spoilsport Buzzkill Anti-Smoking Narc Club. He pouts for hours if he knows I've had a cigarette! And he knows when I hang out with Christin, I'll probably smoke. She's earned a rep as a bad influence.
I also dislike him when it's the beginning of football season and then end of baseball season because the big TV always has to have dumb sports on.
I dislike him when he huffs and puffs while I'm cooking because there's water dripping off the counter onto the cabinets and the floor and there are crumbs on the ground and "when are you going to be done so I can clean up this AWFUL mess?" boo hoo, you OCD freak!
I dislike him when he's checking on the credit card balance and I get a phone call with questions about mysterious Amazon and TJ Maxx charges. Mind ya business!
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
I dislike him when he eats peanuts in bed.
I dislike his impatience.
I dislike his poo.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
When he doesn't clean the high chair tray after breakfast and I go to give Will lunch but have to clean stuck-on Cheerios and yogurt off first and Will freaks out because if he doesn't get his food shortly after getting in the high chair he's convinced he will never eat again.
Sometimes (maybe once a year) when we've been drinking I'll make a joke and he takes it seriously and then spends the rest of the night pouting about how mean I am. No one likes a whiny drunk, dude. One time he couldn't even remember what I'd said that made him think I was mean, but he was sure I'd said something mean to him.
As long as he gets pudding, Lorne is usually not too bad. But if he doesn't have pudding he whines about how he would really like pudding. He always has to have Kozy Shack tapioca pudding when he's sick.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Mr. Spiderman is all about suffering in silence on his own when he's sick. He's not the type who likes you to come in and rub his back while he pukes.
He is, however, a whiny baby when he's sore. He follows me around, whimpering and begging for massages.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I dislike my husband when he licks his bowl or plate after eating. I know my food is good and all, but that is going too far.
When my H is sick, he will take his temperature every 10 minutes that he's awake and give me a full report. "I took my temp. at 1:54 and it was 99.599959 and then I took it again at 1:59 and it went up to 99.599963." Um, OK, am I supposed to graph that shiit for you?
He also leaves piles of clothes and things everywhere. He is very unorganized and forgetful, unless he is at work, where is is very precise and all of that.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!