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Liquor Etiquette When Hosting Guests?
My husband and I have a rule in our home- no liquor is allowed in our home. We were recently hosting a friend of his in our home for 7 days as a stay-in guest. He purchased his own groceries, cooked dinner and cleaned up after himself. However, when I mentioned the liquor rule, he quickly got an attitude and told me it was rude to tell him he couldn't have liquor in the house because he's a guest.
In my opinion, since it's OUR home and OUR rule, people who are staying over must abide by it. If it was such a big deal for him to consume liquor, he could have easily found someone else to stay with, or gone out to a bar by himself.
In your opinion, is it rude of us to keep our stay-over guests from drinking liquor because we don't appreciate it in our home?
Re: Liquor Etiquette When Hosting Guests?
This is a tough one....on one end, he should be respectful of you and your H because you have opened your home up to him. On the flip side, because he's your guest, you should be respectful of him as well. I don't know...I think that's really hard to say.
Is there a specific reason as to why you don't allow liquor? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I know people who don't drink and don't keep liquor in their homes; however when they do have people over (for gatherings, etc) they allow others to drink in their home. It's just not something they'll participate in.
I think you both overreacted a little. If he were a friend I would assume he would know that you didn't drink and why. I don't think it's rude to keep your guest from drinking, but unless there was alcholism or religion related, I don't think it would be rude to bring in a bottle of wine for a week.
Again, this guy is a good enough friend to stay for 7 days. I'd assume he would know about alcohol or religion before he stayed though.
It's not really a religious issue or anything. I happen to enjoy whiskey, but Hub has an issue with liquor- he can't drink it and being around it bothers him. So we agreed to not have it in the house. We've also had numerous problems in the past with some of our more immature friends coming over, having too much to drink, and causing a lot of problems, which is something we're no longer able to take responsibility for.
Our guest knew that my husband felt that way before he came to visit, and I had honestly come to the conclusion that he was only being confrontational because he wanted to put me out. Nearly all of my husband's other friends (all military buddies) that have stayed with us have had no issue with the rule, and many of them have even appreciated that we don't bend on something that's important to us. I'm not particularly headstrong about anything else, I allow people to smoke and dip in my house even though I don't like tobacco, and all the entertainment activities we did that week revolved around the things he liked to do, not what I wanted to do.
I guess what really bothered me was the timing of his objection. He hadn't once wanted to bring liquor into the house until he overheard me telling a friend of mine that we were having a BBQ and reminding him about the rule, which he hadn't yet heard about. Then our guest decided he was going to pick a fight about it. And that seemed ill-timed and like he was just trying to start something.
OMG...Who am I to weigh in on this?...
I'm reading this after putting our babies to bed and drinking... more than one or two on a Sat. evening; however at the end of the day I agree with you. It is YOUR HOME and YOUR RULE and if I were lucky enough to be your guest I would compley (sp? I'm drunk)
DH has a friend whose wife is addicted to pain killers and would empty a medicine cabinet if we let her. (which we don't - that is OUR RULE). I have to go through our bathrooms/dispose of any medications before she comes over which is not often.
I also feel that guests after 3 days are like fish. 7 days is a long time to host anyone in YOUR HOME - which you paid for and clean, take care of etc. every day.
Good Luck!
It wouldn't bother me as a guest, but then I'm also in the south and have a lot of relatives that are southern baptist and a few friends that are recovering alcoholics.
I also wouldn't think to bring alcohol with me for a seven day trip but then I'm not a big drinker, I've only brought wine with me as a gift to hosts, not for myself.
Ok, taking that explanation at face value, I think it's weird that your husband simply objects to alcohol and therefore makes a rule, even when you happen to like particular liquors. But thinking it's weird doesn't mean I think he's wrong. Other people make their guests take their shoes off (which I also think is weird) or serve vegetarian meals because they themselves are vegetarian. It's one thing to deny a guest a need or a creature comfort but no alcohol is not such a tough rule--like you said, he could have gone to a bar.
I like drinking and I think it's an integral part of entertaining in my own home but if it's not yours, that's your call to make. At least now he knows your rule and if he chooses not to stay with you again, that's his call to make.
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Ditto 100%. It's YOUR HOME. I think it's weird he even questioned it. I've got to say that I wouldn't necessarily think to ask ahead of time, but if he already knew it then he should definitely respect it!
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I wouldn't care what the reason is; if I am a guest in your home, and you say I can't do something while in your home, or bring something into your home, then that's that. I should be glad I get to stay with someone for a week for free, even if I do supply my own groceries, etc.
And I'd like to say that, I'm a vegetarian, and when I host dinner parties, there is very rarely meat in the dishes I serve. If I do ever use meat for my guests, it's seafood, or chicken breast, or pork, the only meats I feel comfortable cooking/bring into my home.
I think that it's not unreasonable to ask that guests to respect your household rules, especially since they only affect your guests temporarily. They eventually go home, and follow their own rules. :-)