would I be a horrible person

mashedpotato

if I took out a parent ad in my son's yearbook and just signed it from me and not my H as well? 

samfish2bcrab

Hmmmm.   If you put in a really embarrassing picture of your son there would be too much kerfuffle about that for anyone to even notice

SarahBethBR

Why would you do that?  I don't think it makes you a horrible person, but I do think it's a little weird.

mashedpotato

I do plan to add some pictures, but nothing embarrassing. 

mashedpotato

SarahBethBR:

Why would you do that?  I don't think it makes you a horrible person, but I do think it's a little weird.

well, I figure it's about being proud of the person he has grown to be and frankly my H didn't have much to do with that.  I'm not trying to be hurtful or anything but he wasn't really involved in raising him. 

oklagirl

Could you do something like,

"You're so awesome. blah. blah. yada. yada. H and I love your very much. Orange hair. So proud.

Hugs and kisses,

Mom"

samfish2bcrab

I get the sentiment, but it's a public declaration.  I think you're kind of obligated to add husband.

KayRI

I can understand your reasoning.  Do you think your H would be hurt?

SarahBethBR

mashedpotato:

well, I figure it's about being proud of the person he has grown to be and frankly my H didn't have much to do with that.  I'm not trying to be hurtful or anything but he wasn't really involved in raising him. 

That makes sense.  If you think your H would understand it, go for it.  I guess I was thinking he would have been, but if you guys have only been married for a few years, I can definitely see your point.

Our yearbook ads were all signed from parents and siblings, so it wasn't just about who raised us.

mashedpotato

I don't think my H would be hurt, I think he would understand and I don't think my son would be hurt either.  I guess I'm just worried that other people would think it's weird. I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think blah blah blah, whatever.

ftnups

Wouldn't make you a horrible person, but it's an ad in a high school yearbook. Is it that important to you that everyone who sees it infers that your husband didn't have a hand in raising your son to be the great kid that he is? Is there really a downside to including him as a courtesy?

So I think my vote would be NOT horrible, kind of petty.

mashedpotato

we got married when he was 13.

If I do include him, should I also include his father and step-mother? (they've had even less to do with raising him by the way).

maybe I'm just being selfish.

KayRI

From my perspective, as a stepmother who had little if anything to do with raising my stepson, I would be A-OK with being left off an ad like this.

ftnups

mashedpotato:

we got married when he was 13.

If I do include him, should I also include his father and step-mother? (they've had even less to do with raising him by the way).

maybe I'm just being selfish.

I wouldn't think you would need to include them - they can take their own ad out right? And they aren't your family, your hoseband is.

mashedpotato

yeah, I guess I am being petty.  I guess I just saw it as more personal between my son and me, but you're right it certainly wouldn't hurt to add his name.

tarafire

I think it would be more meaningful from just you. My mom tried to sign her ex's name on everything (granted I hated him) and it wasn't as special to me because I knew it was only from my mom, so why lie about it? I think he would treasure it much more if it were just from you, and maybe your husband can do something meaningful for him with you somewhere else, like a newspaper ad instead of the yearbook?

buddhagouda

I think I'm going to stop commenting on anything and instead just say "whatever Fitty and Fallin said".

KristenBtobe

I see it both ways. If you are just writing it strictly from your perspective, than I guess just signing it as you is fine. 

jens_a_ten

Ditto what Fitty said. One on hand, I get it. On the other hand, it does come across as "I want to make sure that it is perfectly clear to everyone that I am to receive the credit for how awesome this kid is, ME ALONE!

 Also, the ad is supposed to be a little more about him, the good choices he has made, and how you are all proud of him, as opposed to 'Congratulations to you for having such a great parent."

lmydogally

I think you are giving too much credit that people other than the child and parent actually read those things.

FallinAgain

I tend to agree with Dawg that no one is going to pay attention to this, so if your H and S are fine with it, it's fine.  That said, isn't 13 to 18 pretty a pretty formative time?  Do you really think your H didn't have much to do with creating to person your son is? 

mashedpotato

FallinAgain:

I tend to agree with Dawg that no one is going to pay attention to this, so if your H and S are fine with it, it's fine.  That said, isn't 13 to 18 pretty a pretty formative time?  Do you really think your H didn't have much to do with creating to person your son is? 

this is going to make my H sound bad, but he really isn't.  My H has been there and given him rides and things but they aren't super close, they like each other and respect each other but he's never really played the "parent" role.  I never expected him to.

salimoo

I would just put his name. No one's going to read anywhere near the thought you are putting into it. The only one who might is your son, and the only thing he could read into it, I'd think, is that his stepdad isn't all that interested in anything about him.

No need to include his father or stepmom. They can make their own ad.

CaliopeSpidrman

Sign both names but make yours much bigger.  "MOM" gets 48 point font and "Stepdad" gets 8 point font.

FallinAgain

mashedpotato:

FallinAgain:

I tend to agree with Dawg that no one is going to pay attention to this, so if your H and S are fine with it, it's fine.  That said, isn't 13 to 18 pretty a pretty formative time?  Do you really think your H didn't have much to do with creating to person your son is? 

this is going to make my H sound bad, but he really isn't.  My H has been there and given him rides and things but they aren't super close, they like each other and respect each other but he's never really played the "parent" role.  I never expected him to.

But, but, but, isn't just being in his life an influence?  Teaching him how a good guy treats his wife and his wife's kid?  How married people are partners to each other?  How to handle problems and crises that arise in life?  Am I giving your H too much credit?

noisy_penguin

I will be the minority and say I don't think you should feel weird about leaving your H off. If you're putting in baby pictures and talking about how proud you are of how he's grown up and stuff, and you're the main influence in that, I think it's okay to have it just be something between you and your son. I don't think other parents bother to look at them, let alone judge why you may or may not have signed your husband or his father's name as well. 

modb1rd

I had no idea parents' took out ads in yearbooks.

::bows and accepts accolades for my important contribution to this thread::

CaliopeSpidrman

modb1rd:

I had no idea parents' took out ads in yearbooks.

::bows and accepts accolades for my important contribution to this thread::

Me neither.  But I didn't even buy my senior yearbook.  I wish I had, but whateva.

noisy_penguin

My mom took out an ad for me. She loves me more than your parents love you.

AlmondWhittle

I don't think its odd for you to just sign it from you, especially if your son & H aren't close. My mom & step dad have been together since I was 3 or 4 and I always HATED when she added his name to stuff. To be fair I've also always HATED my step dad, so this is probably horrible advice.

buddhagouda

My dad lost the paperwork for the ad and did not find it until it was two weeks past the deadline. They remembered to get one for my brother though. Stupid brother.