Green Living
pirogoeth
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Frustrating partners?
in Green Living
Sorry, I just need to rant and you guys are the only ones who'll understand. For a little over a year now I've been trying to make my life as green as possible. I say my life because DH really doesn't care. It's up to me to do any recycling. It's up to me to buy the eco-friendly cleaning supplies, paper products, and pretty much anything eco-friendly that we use around the house. He sees no problem with just throwing everything away and using paper towels for everything and eating whatever he wants. It's just so frustrating. I've told him as much, but he sticks with his beliefs and doesn't want to contribute anything because I'm the one who wants to do all of this. Does anyone else have issues like this? How do you not kill them?
Re: Frustrating partners?
when I first started, I had the same problem. He was good about recycling as we just started keeping cans/bottles/etc on the sink and then I'd rinse them and put them in recycling. But he used his bleach and other chemical laden cleaners all the time. When we ran out, I just never bought more. One day he asked me to mix him up some of my "hippie crunchy cleaning stuff" becuase we were out. Once he saw it worked as well as his chemical favorites, he just started using them. It didn't happen overnight and I never pushed him. But when we're out of softener and the vinegar is on top the washer shelf, it's just as convenient for him to use them.
Stick to your guns and let him stick to his. Eventually once he sees how important it is to you he'll be willing to at least explore a little on his own, but you certainly can't change his mind.
I lucked out, my DH is very understanding of my being green and has actually come up with a lot of good ideas himself. What I found that works with him is baby steps. I start one green initiative at a time, let's say recycling because we did that first, and do it myself for awhile, then he picks up on it, once we're both doing it for awhile I move on to the next one. For recycling, I started rinsing the recyclables and leaving them on the counter to dry. DH would ask what's going on, I would tell him I'm recycling and show him the picture on the side of the bin of what could be recycled and what couldn't. After a few weeks of him seeing me pulling recyclable items out of the trash after he chucked them, he started placing them on the counter, where I would rinse them and put them in the bin. Then he started rinsing them himself, and now he's doing the whole shebang.
I did the same process with removing paper towels. We used to go through 2 rolls a week, now it's 1 every other month (we only really use them for pet messes now). I bought some rags, and started using them for wiping up messes and cleaning instead of PT. I also hid the PT roll, which keep DH from grabbing it the way he always had. After awhile, he started using the rags and now we have a whole system of these rags are used for this, and these rags are used for that. I did the same process for composting, and we started gardening together.
This is exactly how it went for us.
I never mentioned the changes unless he brought them up. And when he asked, I always tied it to things he cared about - saving money, our health, something that worked better or was easier to do, etc. Environmental issues came up but I never emphasized them because I knew it wasn't enough to convince him. I always followed up a few weeks later and ask him if he noticed an improvement or benefit. If he didn't, I asked if he had any ideas or told him I'd look for something else to try. The focus was never on how he had change everything because I said so. It was always on how his life would be better. After a while - like several months, a year maybe - I didn't have to explain changes as much.
The hardest part was getting him to use toothpaste, soap, etc. that wasn't tested on animals and to buy meat and cheese from humanely raised animals. I could never relate it to something he cared about. We had very heated arguments - yelling, crying, being furious and disappointed with each other, etc. He basically didn't believe what I was telling him and I couldn't believe that he didn't care. There was a documentary on t.v. one night about the farming industry. He left the room about half way through and I was furious with him. Turns out he went in his office to research this stuff on his own. And of course, he concluded that I wasn't just making up animal cruelty. So now, he's definitely on board. Well, except for his Head & Shoulders shampoo but I figure he has come a long way so I can give a little and accept it.Its been a few years since we started making all these changes and he's actually proud of what we do. Whenever people ask about stuff, he's more than happy to explain.
You can't force your husband to change, but you can encourage him. Just be patient and try not to get too frustrated that you're doing all the work.
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.