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Meds and my mom don't mix...
She had double knee replacement last week, she's obese, and she has severely limited range of motion in both of her arms too...so I totally understand that she is hurting and the whole therapy process is more difficult for her.
However...on her pain meds she has become the most self-centered, demanding, whining, complaining woman...and she's absolutely driving me nuts. Partly because she knows I'm a nurse. So instead of having her nurses who are actually working there help her...she waits until I get there and is all like "Ohhh...I've been waiting all day...rub my foot! And get my toothbrush. Grab that...move this...I need you to do this...and this...and this." It's non-stop. I don't even want to go visit her anymore.
She tells me that she is so embarrased because on the commode she can't even wipe herself anymore and the nurses have to help her. For Christs sake! The woman could wipe herself before the surgery...they operated on her knees which does not limit her ability to WIPE herself!!!
It's almost as though because she is "impaired" she considers that to be a complete invalid as is very willing to have everyone do everything for her that she could and should be doing for herself.
I feel sorry for her nurses. Arrgg...Just venting.
Re: Meds and my mom don't mix...
I can't imagine how frustrating that has to be for you!
I know she's your mom and you want to care for her, but have you tried not doing some of the things she asks, or possibly keeping your visits shorter? I know that would suck, but maybe it would force her to help herself a little more? 
Yeah...once she got transferred to rehab and she started with: my leg itches, scratch it! I just flat out said No...do it yourself. You've still got arms. She looked at me like I had just slapped her in the face.
She wanted me to call for help so a nurse and I could shift her in the bed. I put the trapeze bar down in front of her and said "Grab it and move yourself. You're not paralyzed."
Then she cries...starts sobbing...and says how I just don't understand how hard this all is for her.
It probably wouldn't bother me so much normally...I'm just stressed and overwhelmed. My sister has visited her 1 time for about 20 minutes this whole past week. She wont do anything for my mom. (Long Story.) So everything falls on me. Plus dealing with Matt being laid off, looking for a new job, the kids, soccer, drums, homecoming last weekend...I need a drink. And a vacation.
Tell her if she doesn't use it, she will lose it! My mom tells me this all the time when I try to do things for her. She has had stage 4 lung cancer for 4 years now and I truly believe her continuing to do many things herself has helped her to get this far. So, while you do understand what she is going through, you are also there to her help so that she is not completely dependent on people in the future. ;-)
my dad had a partial last monday and according to my sister i am a complete b!tch because i wont do stuff for him. he is suppose to be walking and using it, the kitchen counter is 8 feet from his chair...go get your own coffee..lol
i dont want him to sit and not use it bc of the issues that can arise, and if you arent going to use it what the heck was the point in doing it???
sorry she's being so difficult.. your patience is something i shoudl really strive for...
Agree!!!! my mom had her left knee replaced last year and b/c of the pain med she was on, she was unbearable once she got home. not b/c she wouldn't do things, but b/c of the reaction she had to the med. my dad made her get up and walk w/ her walker to the bathroom, to the dining room table, to the bedroom, etc. it was tough, but she did it and is better for it. your mom can't be dependent on you or the staff at the rehab center, b/c once she gets home.. she has to do it herself.
I'm a firm believer in tough love too. They need to get on with things.
My mom still hasn't healed totally from a broken ankle a year ago. To be honest I thought she'd never walk again when it happened b/c she is so weak/wimpy.
MIL had a total hip done 2 yrs. ago and I was surprised how quickly she recovered. She didn't milk it at all and never complained about the pain. I just feel bad now though b/c I think she hasn't done anything to help the situation (like lose weight or work out).