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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Question for dog owners with kids
How do you get a dog and a kid comfortable enough with each other and their limits that you don't worry all the time about something terrible happening? Maybe I just don't understand dog behavior enough to relax around dogs when my kid is around.
At the end of the day, a dog is an animal, and kids don't always do what they're told to do.
Re: Question for dog owners with kids
Right now, my kid's not mobile, and the dog's not interested in going anywhere near him without me there to pet him.
Once Ethan is mobile, I just won't leave them unsupervised together. Monty generally wants to be where I am, so it should be difficult to have him just follow me around, and If I need to be in the shower or somewhere Ethan can just go in the PnP.
Since I don't have a kid, I only know what I do from the dog owner perspective when my friends' kids are around Maggie. I keep an eye on her even though I feel very confident she'd never do anything. She just tries to avoid toddlers who want to be all up in her grill by walking away and laying under something.
When I'm out walking her, we frequently have kids who want to come up and pet her. Most are well behaved and ask first, but I've had kids run up out of nowhere and start petting her on her hindquarters. It made her jump because it surprised her, but she didn't do anything. I always take it upon myself to educate kids how to properly introduce themselves to a dog and how to be gentle. Since I have a dog who is well behaved and extremely calm (she doesn't jump on people or lick or really show much interest, for that matter), I am comfortable taking the time to do so.
I think the biggest thing is that kids need to learn how to introduce themselves to dogs and behave around them. I know a lot of people dislike the Dog Whisperer's techniques, but he's big on teaching kids how to behave around dogs and I think that's so important.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
This is about where I am. Linus is well behaved, but I put him through a basic training course to refresh. Once the baby comes he will be completing an intermediate one.
It would be good for him, plus I think he would like the alone time with us. This is a huge worry for me, so I have been kind of obsessive with my preparations. I never want to have to make a decision like PP. And if something were to go wrong, I would feel a little better knowing I did everything I could to help him adjust.
As of now, my dog doesn't love small children. My nephew is really rough with his dogs, and he does the same to mine if he is not being watched. I plan on trying to train my kid as well to be respectful towards animals to avoid putting everyone in a bad situation.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Maggie had no interest in Dagger because the rest of us were holding donuts in our hands pretty much the whole weekend. She is the sweetest dog ever though and I loaf her.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Fozzy is very good with kids. Whenever there are kids in the house we keep an eye on them and they are never without supervision. We had a housewarming party and DH's friend brought over his hellion children who kept chasing Fozzy around until Fozzy practically begged me to let him in the bedroom. Then he hid under the bed. He just wants to be left alone.
I trust my dog. I get nervous around other dogs because I don't know of their training/temperment ect.
There will be behavior reinforcing classes taken before any little ones join our family.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I honestly don't worry about my dogs with Connor at all and don't even necessarily think I need to be able to lay my eyes on them at all times when together. My dogs will pretty much put up with anything though. They love Connor and he loves them. He definitely doesn't intentionally try to hurt them, and I will correct him and talk to him about loving the dogs and being nice to them if he gets rough in play.
I've never worried about putting the dogs outside/in their crate if I'm going to shower or something like that. These days Connor would just let them inside if I did that anyhow.
Well first of all, do you think millions and millions of families, generation after generation, would have beloved pet dogs if they were these wildly unpredictable animals ready to go berserk on small children out of the blue? Probably not.
Most dogs are very well suited to be family pets, and almost as many do great with babies and small children. And even the ones that don't love babies/toddlers still usually do just fine (small terriers for example - I have two and they keep their distance more than, say, Bobo, but they still have a noticeable affinity for Matt).
I gotta put my two-legger down for a nap, so my short answer is that it takes time, supervision, and training on both sides of the equation. Kids ultimately may trump dogs, but dogs have a right to not be mistreated or terrorized (finger up the butt and tail pulled, for example) by little wobbly people. And I firmly believe that even toddlers are capable of learning and abiding by this.
By the time you have a toddler, either you should understand both sides and their dynamic together well enough that you have a pretty easily workable situation (especially, again, since most dogs are inclined to love being part of a family with kids). But supervision is always part of the equation when you are dealing with small children. That doesn't mean you have to hover over them, wringing your hands and fretting all day long, but it does mean staying on top of things.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Angie, have you read And Baby Makes Four yet? Please get it! It's a great book and can make the transition so much easier.
What is Linus like around kids? Is there something in particular he doesn't like? Like their sporadic/clumsy way of moving, or the noise, or being touched, etc?
He seems easily annoyed by my nephew, who is 5. Touching and noises he is ok with, he doesn't like when my nephew gets in his face or hangs from his neck. Which I don't blame him. I tell him all the time not to do that because Linus isn't used to kids, but he never listens and no one but Kevin and I seem to think it is a big deal, so we watch them closely. Last time he did it was the day Linus had gotten stitches out, and he growled at him. I was right there and just moved my nephew aside. I don't want to discourage the growling, I would rather have there be some warning as opposed to just snapping.
Linus doesn't seem to mind smaller children, I think really it is the rough play he doesn't like. The only other place he has lived besides with us is a shelter, so he doesn't have a ton of experience.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
That's too bad that your nephew's parents don't take it a bit more seriously and teach him to not do those things. Some people have this idea that dogs just have to be subjected to absolutely anything a kid or person throws their way, and I strongly disagree with that. And a five yo is way past old enough to simply modify his behavior.
I think you will find that book really useful in getting ready for the bebeh!
Mabel has been very good with Miles. Before he became mobile, the biggest problem we had was that she wanted to play with him - she's play bow to him all the time, and he was all, 'wha?'
Now, we are entering a new phase. Miles ADORES Mabel. He finds everything she does to be hilarious, and will crawl after her. The big problem is that he likes to try to climb on her, and tries to grab at her face, whiskers, ears, anything really. She doesn't find this amusing. I trust and love Mabel, but I know that Miles can work her last nerve. If he's bothering her, she'll push him away with her paw, or in rare circumstances, bark at him. We try not to let this happen, and try to head him off at the pass when he's making his way toward her. I have no plans to ever leave the two of them together unsupervised. Even though I think she knows he's a family member, not a threat, and smaller/'weaker than her, she still is an animal. And, I'm not convinced she fully understands her own size and strength.
As an aside, Miles ate a piece of kibble last night. My kid won't eat human food, but dog food? No problem. Awesome.
I agree. Just because their dog takes all sorts of abuse it doesn't mean that another dog is going to.
So, I am usually the bad guy who grabs his hand and tells him no when he whacks his dog or yells at him when he is all over Linus. I just don't want 1. to feel bad if my dog bites him and 2. have him continuously create negative associations with kidlets.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
November, one thing I did ever since Matt started interacting with Bobo is I would let Matt pet him, play with him, etc and the whole time I would scratch Bobo's head and chin and just lavish praise on him and give him a treat afterwards. He has always associated Matt's touch/play with praise, affection and treats.
And this way Miles gets a chance to practice and get better at interacting with Mabel, and you get to supervise, AND the dog is learning too.
My favorite command for Bobo is "kiss the baby, bobo!"
I do this with Monty and Ethan too. We make sure Monty gets a lot of attention when we are playing with Ethan and treats when Ethan pets him.
The other day Ethan was in the bumbo with me sitting right next to him, and Monty walked up to be petted. I was letting Ethan "pet" him, and he wound up with a big handful of ear and pulling before I even saw it coming. Monty just looked at me with a "Umm hey are you going to do something about this?" look. I will still never allow him to be touching the baby without me there, but it did make me feel a little better.
Monty has NEVER been a fan of toddlers though. I think they just freak him out because he's so small. He doesn't attack or anything. He just avoids as much as he can and will growl if one corners him. He's only ever been around them a fee times though, so I'm really hoping that since Ethan is here every day and Monty is used to him being a part of the family it won't be an issue.
Ah, that is what I did with Linus and my cousins toddler. It worked out wonderful.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
That worked surprisingly well with Monty and my nephew until my nephew (after being warned numerous times not to pet the dog's face) decided to simultaneously pull Monty's ear and whiskers. Yeah, he didn't like that so much.
Edit: to add I was sitting right there holding the dog, so nobody was hurt or anything. He just growled. After that, nephew wasn't allowed to pet him anymore.
Maybe I will be labeled a mean mom for this, but even though Matt is probably much better than most toddlers around dogs, he is still a toddler and has his moments/phases. He went through a brief weird phase where he made a kicking motion toward the dogs. He never kicked them but his toes would usually graze them, and really - not acceptable regardless.
I tried time-out but that didn't make a difference. So one day he did it, and I decided to try something new. I went up to him and matter of factly said, "Matt, no one wants to play with a kid who kicks or hits. So you have to go play by yourself in the play room and the dogs and I will be out here. I hope you will stop doing this because the dogs and I would love to play with you."
I think I had to do that twice. Never happened again.
Anyone who thinks that makes you a mean mom should have their head examined.
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I hope that wasn't how my post came across, because I certainly don't think it's ok for my toddler to abuse the dogs, but in situations where I would be irritated with someone up in my grill, they seem to enjoy it. I have definitely spent a lot of time teaching Connor what is appropriate/inappropriate behavior with the dogs (mine and others).
Also, I can't fathom a 5 year old not being able to comprehend that. Seriously, if 2 and 3 year olds can know how to behave with pets, how is this difficult for a 5 year old?
Fitty -- would a mean mom put her kids boogers in their pocket?
Wendy -- I wasn't thinking about your post when I wrote that. I was just thinking of comments I've seen/heard in general when people talk about their dogs with kids. I never really thought about it much until lately when I realized that it's just poor parenting to let your kid do that.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I get what you meant wendy - and that's actually the beauty of starting from day one to guide how they interact. They kind of grow into their dynamic together. Bobo knows that the affection he gets from Matt won't be just like what an adult would do, and he loves it. He knows what to expect from Matt.
Wendy, I don't think your post came across that way.
This particular 5 year old isn't disciplined much, at least not in front of me.
Fitty, I would like to attend your school of patience.For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.