A favor to ask...

Sn2BLee

It's been a while since I actually posted, but I still read almost every day.  Work and home has been busy lately so I don't post as much as I did pre-wedding.  I do feel like this is one place I can come where even though I don't know you girls IRL, I feel you are my friends. 

I've written a couple time since joining the knot/nest about my MIL.  In February 2009 she was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer that had already spread to her liver.  She's done fairly well the last year and a half, but it's too the point where chemo is no longer doing anything and her liver is starting to shut down.  We're going to see her this coming weekend, but I'm afraid it's going to be the last time we see her alive.

DH handled everything well at first, but now I can tell he's slowly starting to break down.  He was sobbing in my arms last night about everything and the whole time my heart was breaking for him and 'mom'.

I guess this post is two fold - 1. Any thoughts or prayers you can give for my MIL would be appreciated and 2. Is there any advice as to what I can do?  I know just to be there for DH may be all I can do.  But I felt like there were other nesties who have dealt with a similar situation before.  Any help would also be appreciated.  Thanks girls. 

Marick

Hugs!  *Sending lots of T&P to your family*  Give your DH a big hug for me! I think being supportive is the best thing to do, you can give him and the rest of his family strength and courage.  Remember to always celebrate life:

?"it's important to remember what person the disease has and NOT what disease the person has."--Marie Smart on Alzheimer's

 

dasmel30

Sn2BLee:

I guess this post is two fold - 1. Any thoughts or prayers you can give for my MIL would be appreciated and 2. Is there any advice as to what I can do?  I know just to be there for DH may be all I can do.  But I felt like there were other nesties who have dealt with a similar situation before.  Any help would also be appreciated.  Thanks girls. 

1. Done.  Ts & Ps are being sent your way.

2.  Never been in this position so I don't have much to offer. 

 

Laurms15

Lots of thoughts and prayers for her and her family.

I think just being there for him. Letting him talk when he wants but going about things normally when he doesn't want to talk about it.

MandahGirly

All you can do is be supportive. Hold him while he cries, and listen to whatever he needs to say. I just lost someone as well to cancer and it sucks, but the fact that I could cry my eyes out to DH made me feel a little better. I will definitely be keeping you in my T&Ps

allioops414

I'm so sorry to hear this...

 Ditto Amanda - just let him grieve however he needs to and be supportive.  My T&P's are with you both and your families.

bhentze

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I have never been in this situation, so I cannot even pretend to know how it feels.

My thoughts and prayers are definitely out there for your MIL, you and your DH, and your entire family.

barbbhoww

i'm so sorry!  DHs childhood dog died yesterday and he was really bummed out.  usually the strong one and it was hard to see him like that.

 i found that I should just not say anything and just be with him.  he didn't need "advice" or help but needed ME.  Like how I usually need him.  sorry your going through this.

rdoernberg

Everyone else has said it and you know what to do. Just be there -- talk when he needs to and don't talk when he needs that too. I'm so sorry for your family and you will be in my thoughts.

mickylvr1

Jacqui, I am so sorry to hear this.  I think you know what to do.  Lots of thoughts & prayers headed your way.

festivegal2008

The best advice I can offer is to be there for him, listen to him and hug him when he needs it. Help with anything you can regarding the family. Lots of thoughts and prayers to you and H's family too. Hugs!!

kikibird

Jacqui, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH and family.  It's all been said, just be there for him.  Hang in there. 

ribbicks

First, I am so sorry for what you, your husband and your family is going through.  It is very tough.  My husbands father passed away right after we got engaged after many, many years of health problems.  We all knew it was coming but it was still very hard.  I just tried to be there for my husband and his family as much as I could.  He cried on my shoulder and still breaks down occasionally.  I also cried on his shoulder which at the time made me feel guilty.  I felt that I needed to be the strong one to be there for him since he lost his father.  However, I was close to his father so it was my loss too, and he was happy that I could lean on him when I needed to.  I guess what I'm saying is try to be there for your husband and his family, but don't be afraid to lean on them for support as well...they're your family.  Just know that it does get better.  Yes, we still have times when someone will break down but it's healing for our family to tell good/bad/funny stories about him.  Even if we're just laughing about the crazy stuff that he used to do, it helps.  We get sad, and we miss him..but that's OK!  It shows that he is loved and still very much in our hearts!  PM me if you want to talk more.  Again, I am so sorry that you are going through this and I can totally relate.

coreysmomma

I am sending thoughts and prayers your way.

I am very sorry for what you and your DH are going through.  I agree with PP.  When I saw my DH break down over some family stuff, it hurt me to see him like that and I was just there for him to talk to/lean on.  My DH likes to keep it bottled up, because if he doesn't discuss it; it is not real.  It is healthy for your DH to talk about it.  So just be that ear/shoulder and encourage him to talk when needed.

 Danielle