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Holiday Host In Need of Help!
Hello everyone! I have a question to ask, and please, everyone, be honest with your response.
So, My hubby and I are hosting a Christmas party that we are calling "The Poor Man's Dinner". It is just going to be our close friends coming to our apartment for some good eats and fun holiday games (I know it's really early to be thinking of Christmas, but I can't help it!). Our guest list consists of 8 people.
Okay. My question.
If you received an invitation to a holiday party from one of your close friends that stated no guests, what would you think?
Here is our actual situation. Our 8 friends that we have invited, we have been friends with since we were in High School. Every single person is friends with the others. We are all very close. We are the only married couple of our group. Two of our friends are a couple, and of course they are both invited. Regardless of whether or not they were dating, they both would have been invited.
The rest of our friends are single, with the exception of one that starting dating this woman a week or so ago. We are pretty sure that our friends wouldn't bring dates, but we really don't have the room to host any addition people if they decided to invite someone. We really want to have our friends over to our apartment since we just moved in a few months ago and this is our first Christmas as a married couple. We want to do something special with our friends, but if each of our guests brought a guest, you wouldn't be able to move in our apartment.
Would it be okay to put "This is a formal friends get together to celebrate the holidays. Since it is few and far between that everyone is together at once (and we live in a tiny apartment) we are asking that it be just us friends. No guests. Sorry for any inconvenience. " on the invitation?
Or would it be better to just "word of mouth" it and maybe just bring up in casual conversation about how small our apartment is but how we really want everyone to come over and celebrate the holidays?
Or should we just suck it up and if they bring someone, they bring someone?
I don't want to put it on the invitation and have one of our friends not come because they feel insulted or just don't want to come alone.
Our friends are really laid back and probably wouldn't even care, but I don't want to risk it.
Any advise, fellow Nesties?!
Thanks!
Re: Holiday Host In Need of Help!
Either word of mouth, or suck it up if they bring a "date."
That's my two cents.
My formal reply would be to just suck it up. But, if it were me and my friends, I'd send out an email that said, "Hey, we're thinking of doing this. Should we make it +1 or just us?" My girlfriends and I always have this informal round of checking in before any get together--is this day ok, are we bringing husbands/dates, are we bringing babies, is anyone staying over, etc--before the formal invite goes out.
But that's just become our method of doing things. The only reason I don't like word of mouth is that it's possible someone won't hear about it and bring a date. Then everyone else feels slighted because they couldn't and the date feels like an outsider.
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Don't write anything in the invite, especially not what you proposed above. If I got that from a "close friend" I'd be giving the major side eye. Send the invite to the person with no +1 on it. If the ask to bring someone you can decide to suck it up or say no.
What's a "poor man's dinner?"
Poor Mans Dinner is something my husband and I made up. Since it is Christmas, we'll obviously cook a ham, but the rest of the meal will be decided by the guests. We ask the guests to name their favorite dish when they reply to the invitation. We end up with a large variety of food. Some people love casserole, others love pasta, and my one friend even says that Mashed Potatoes are her favorite dish! Since everyone generally has a traditional Christmas dinner with their families, we aren't really worried about that aspect. We just want our friends to come over and enjoy some good food. This way, we know their will be something on the table that they like.
Thank you for the advise.
If I read it right, there's only a chance of one person bringing someone, right? It's simple: "Hey, Jake, we are SO tight on space that we really only have room for the 8 of us. Tiffany will be going home to her family, won't she?" For the rest of the people, only mention something if they start dating someone or mention it to the group if yall are all hanging out one night and the subject of the party comes up.
Don't put that paragraph on the invite.
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i would say it by word of mouth. but i also wouldnt be worried about offending people, this is you closest 8 friends, not some people you arent close enough with to be candid with.
send texts, fb messages or emails to everyone. "hey everyone, were super excited about hosting the first party in our new home, but were realizing just how small our apartment is, so its just going to be the 10 of us.
if the one guest gets more serious with the woman before actual invitations go out, i would just make room for 1 more. dont specifically not invite her, she may take it wrong and think that the lot of you dont like her. what if they end up getting married? i would want to meet my bestest friends' s/o. but you can wait until closer to specifically invite the woman or not. your friend may not want to commit to inviting her to anything so far off anyway, that could be awkward.