September 2010 Weddings
moleson99
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
problems already!?!? holy crap
I'm bored, so i thought i would bring up a topic.
I have a former co-worker who got married in May. She was also a huge fan of TK on the May board and has continued to stay in contact via FB or TN like we all have. She told me that 3 of the regular posters on TK are already getting divorced!!!
That just blows my mind. It's been 5 months tops for some of them. DH and i have had a rough week this week (more a time issue and not getting enough with eachother), but now that we're married, you get through those fights. I can't imagine how big something much have been for those couples to call it quits after a couple months of marriage.
Re: problems already!?!? holy crap
Was just talking about this to a fellow nestie. I have a coworker who got married in Nov. of last year, that's right they've been married for just under a year and they have not had sex in SEVEN MONTHS. That means they stopped after like 4 months of marriage. SO sad. They aren't doing well and he has told me repeatedly they're headed for divorce. Makes me so sad. It's crazy. I think for so many it's an unwillingness to adapt to another personality, to accept the person for who they are. There is so much love and respect and trust that has to go into a marriage, and unfortunately, so many don't realize that those things are missing until after the wedding...and it's too late.
WTF! Wow, thats insane! Maybe those couples hadn't been together that long and marriage was an eye open for them? Who knows...its much cheaper to have called off a wedding during the planning process then to pay for a divorce! My boss told me a great piece of advice when I got engaged, "you have to work at your marriage everday, when you stop working it starts ending."
Don and I had our share of serious issues the past year, but we worked through them because we knew at the end of the day we loved each other and wanted to make it work. There were times we wondered if things could get better, but they did. It's because of that that we now know we can make it through anything.
It's really sad and like i said before just blows my mind. I would think once you're married, you fight harder to make it work. It's not like you can easily "break up" and just end it. Divorce is messy and long.
They say the first year of marriage is the hardest and i'm sure it is. I mean you have the normal every day stresses and then there are some couples who have never lived together and that's got to be hard when you're adjusting to living together and sharing financial responsibilities.
I'm wishing nothing but love, happiness, and joy for all of us newlyweds!!!!!
OMG! That is sad to hear. I really believe that Richard and I will be together for a long time. We were already together 11 years before we got married. We've been there for eachother through good and bad. Aside from my last name, and calling eachother husband and wife nothing has changed in our relationship. I guess marriage does change things for some couples.
This is exactly how I feel. Except we've only been together for 4 years, not 11. We've lived together for all but 3 months of that, and been there through some pretty awful things in those 4 years, so I know we can handle it. Nothing really changed for us.
It's sad when things turn south so fast. I can't imagine what would change so drastically to make you want to give up so soon. Then again, I think some people choose to avoid warning signs to avoid calling off a wedding or being alone. :-(
09.25.10
Planning a wedding is so stressful, I wonder if people come out with built up resentments to each other and family members that they just don't bother to work through?
DH and I had a tough couple of days this week too, (not having enough time together is a huge culprit!) and a lot of it is leftover stress and issues from the craziness before the wedding. But we recognize it and talk it through. Maybe if you ignore it, it comes back to bite you in the bum.
And I seriously cannot imagine marrying someone I haven't lived with. I know lots of people do, but there are so many day to day things to work out that could be issues - so many little things about someone you won't know until you are forced to share the same space 100% of the time.
It also blows my mind. I don't understand how you can love someone so much to want to marry them and then a short time later just walk away from it. I think that some of it comes from people having the viewpoint that it is simply easier to just walk away than it is to work through the issues and put lots of time and effort into the relationship. I know one girl that got married in July and is going through a divorce. It's sad, but I use them as an example of what not to do.
um....I'm going to approach this one slightly differently.
I think that it's extremely difficult to judge in these types of situations. This is my second marriage and I believe we will be together forever. We have been together for as longer than I was married to my first husband - and I was married to that guy for 6 years. And you know what? I knew my first marriage was over within a year. In fact, I knew I shouldn't have gotten married at all ( I tired to run off a month before the wedding). Anyway...I WISH I had the strength to walk away in the beginning.
You never know what's going on behind closed doors. And I'm not saying that any of those people are making good or bad decisions. I'm just saying, we will never really now for sure. For me, it would have been a good thing to get divorced in my first year.
When it's right, it's feels so right
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
I don't necessarily agree with all the posters who are saying, "I would try harder to make it work". If two people shouldn't be together, then they shouldn't - sometimes there's no fixing it, and there's no way for us to know that they didn't try.
On the other hand, I do wonder why they got married in the first place. It seems to me that if you know that soon into a marriage, you probably knew before you got married. It's sad, I think there's a lot of pressure sometimes for couples to get married, and unfortunately people stay in bad relationships longer than they should. It's easy for me to say, sitting here, that they shouldn't have gone through with the wedding if they knew they weren't right for each other, but without being in the situation it's really tough to know what you would do, and how you might convince yourself that you can make it work even though deep down you know you can't.