Caribbean Nesties
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Whine about your childhood
Let's have a big ol' piss and moan session about our terrible childhoods. You can complain about treatment from your parents, siblings, grandparents, schoolyard bullies, etc. Let it out!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Re: Whine about your childhood
Funny.
As I read the post below, I started to wonder if my mother is bipolar, too. I could relate to about 90% of the things people said.
2013 Calendars and More!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Once, my dad yelled at me for breaking off a plastic knife in a frozen container of apple cider.
AND I didn't even get any cider.
I love pudding and all, but this would be a shiitty gift. Did you at least make the pudding in your sister's new bowl?
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
My mom ran me over.
My brother used to beat me up.
My grandmother told me my boyfriend is going to hell.
AND my father never bought me a pony.
2013 Calendars and More!
i had a number of homemade outfits in elementary school. some of the weirder ones were these velveteen outfits (not exactly sweatsuits, but not sure what else they would be classified as) so i was sometimes a little oversensitive about my appearance.
one day i was wearing a pair of corduroy pants that, unbeknownst to me, was not entirely connected in the front pocket area. someone pointed out to me that they could see my underwear. i was emburrussed.
I was a good kid. Rarely went out, never snuck out, didn't try alcohol til I had a half a beer after prom, never smoked, never did drugs, virgin til I was 18.
My mom still berated me and regularly searched my room. I started wondering if maybe I should start doing drugs so I would at least have fun before getting in trouble anyway.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Anybody ready for a Veruca Salt style whine?
When we moved to the Memphis area I was 5. It was 1991, our house was almost brand new, and the entire thing was done in hunter green, burgundy, light green, and pink. Lovely. My mom ate it up. My room had burgundy walls with a wallpaper border that was like little hunter green curtains at the top of my room. I hated it, but she wouldn't do anything because it was perfect for a little girl (meanwhile I'm running around sticking bugs in my nose, but ok).
My brother got to paint his room blue (for BOY). And then when they finished the upstairs he got to paint the walls purple and painted day-glo mushrooms all over the walls. My mom stenciled burgundy and green hearts and vines in the other upstairs bedroom, but I was still living in my girlish paradise downstairs. When I moved up there, I wasn't allowed to paint over the stenciling because it was so much work. Even when they redecorated and painted every room in the house, and let my brother pick his room's color, they didn't let me paint my room. But they painted it about four months after I moved away to college.
I'm pretty sure I've just been trying to make up for my deprived childhood the past two years.
The nerve!
House | Blog
I'm sorry. I didn't make it past that.
I graduated HS in 1993.
(I may have shared this before)
I've pretty much always been fat so I was not amused when my brother and step-brother left a book about whales on my bed with a note that read "to a whale of a buddy".
I could go on and on, but I'll just make an appt. with a therapist.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I was sent to my first day of Kindergarten in red lederhosen.
2013 Calendars and More!
I've got oodles.
I shared this one on ML the other day: my mom decided she didn't like my guinea pig (Ralphie-Baby), so she gave him to the cleaning lady while I was at school one day. I must have been about 7.
I was put on my first diet in 4th grade. I was told that I should weigh about 60 lbs and I weighed 65 lbs.
My family moved me to a new school district/new state in the middle of 5th grade.
In 6th grade for Chanukah, I specifically asked for a LeSportSac and I got some cheap assss 'sporty looking sack'. NOT WHAT I WANTED.
My dad took me shopping for clothes at the Gap when I was in 8th grade and bought me an awesome sweater. When we got home, my mom told him he spent too much money on the sweater, grabbed it from me, and returned it the next day.
Similar to that, I was staying at my sister's apartment when she was in college (she is 4.5 years older than me - I was in high school). We were getting ready to go out to the pool at her complex and I was wearing only my bathing suit. As I was reaching up to grab some towels off of a shelf, she walked by and caught a glimpse of my full.bare.a$$. Apparently I had worn the suit one too many times and had somehow failed to realize that the butt was entirely worn through.
Oh how she laughed and laughed at me, to the point of her rolling on the floor (yes, ROTF actually exists).
Every single time she sees me in a bathing suit, to this day, she brings it up and starts in a fit of laughter. She likes to imagine what would have happened if my high school self had strutted around the pool with a bunch of college boys seeing my white a$$. B*tch is cold.
Once I was watching our hamsters while their cages were being cleaned. My brother told me that if anything happened to his hamster he would kill me. Then he let our cat outside. So of course I went to save his hamster in order to spare myself and the cat went straight for my poor little Gus.
Also my brother broke my nose on purpose by leap frogging me into the TV. He mentioned that in his toast at my wedding.
The nerve!
House | Blog
This made me laugh because I thought of the Fear-by-way of-Always-Sunny gag.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
My grandparents made a big deal of taking each of my cousins to Disneyland for the first time when they turned six. When my brother turned six they decided to stop this tradition because they didn't want the cousins to feel bad about not going along. My brother and I are still kind of bitter about this. Not only because it was unfair and stupid, but because my single mom couldn't afford to take us to Disneyland (we didn't go until we were teenagers and part of a traveling summer marching band) while my uncle was pretty well off.
My dad (whose assholeishness has been well-documented here in the past) did something similar - he took my brother on a trip to the homeland (AKA Victoria, BC) to see where he grew up and to have tea at the Empress and ride the ferry and stuff when he was seven. It was another "special trip" that I was promised I would get to make when I turned that age. By the time I was seven my dad was pretty well checked out. I asked him repeatedly when I'd get to go to Victoria with him. I finally stopped when he said, in front of my brother, "I don't know honey, but don't worry about it, it wasn't really that fun." My poor brother.
I will say that I got him back by tying him up, stuffing a sock in his mouth, and leaving him in the upstairs closet.
A few years later, he locked me in my room (it used to be the garage, so there was still a "backdoor" between the hallway to my room and the kitchen). I went outside to come back in the front door, but after a few times he got wise to that. I was stuck outside for two hours because my mother was taking a nap. Using a neighbor's phone wouldn't have done any good since she turns it off when sleeping.
I honestly have no idea how my brother and I are so close now.
That reminds me of John Cusack getting microwave dinners for Christmas in "Better Off Dead".
I don't have too much to complain about. My sister and I fought like cats and dogs. She was a fat kid and sat on my doll house and caved it in. To this day I can't bring that story up because she gets REAL MAD. Dude, it was MY doll house!
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
I had quite a pause after that too. It made me wonder if I'm really old or SB's really young, and I decided it's both.
My older sister smacked me really hard on the back, so I made my other sister take a picture of the red handprint so I could show my parents.
In 4th grade, the teacher told me I had to stay after school and work on a project I hadn't finished (I was always terrible about doing my homework). I told her I couldn't because I was having my "flying up" ceremony that afternoon for Girl Scouts (going from Brownies to Juniors). She called my mom and my mom said I had to stay after. I was SO PISSED because, not only did I miss out on the ceremony, I also felt totally betrayed by my mom. I have no idea where I got such a sense of entitlement.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I graduated from college in 1991.
When I started realizing I couldn't see all that well, I told my mom and my aunt and they told me to read the specials board at the restaurant we were at. I couldn't. They assumed I was making it up for attention and told me about all the torture I would endure at the eye doctor, such as metal clips holding my eyelids open, hoping to scare me out of my attention whoring.
It didn't work because I wasn't lying and I DID in fact need glasses.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
My mom was known throughout the neighborhood as "Strict Mrs. Firstname."
I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting at 15 with my mother. My father routinely offered to buy me things I was "too fat for" if I lost some weight(a one-piece ski suit, a wet suit, horseback riding lessons). I was a little heavy, but by no means obese.
2013 Calendars and More!
My eyes were horrible, to the extent that my school work suffered because no one noticed I couldn't see the blackboard. At my first eye doctor's appointment in 4th grade, my mom was so embarrassed because I couldn't read the board, and she was worried the doctor would think she didn't teach me my alphabet. The doctor had to threaten to make her leave the room if she didn't keep quiet through the rest of my test because she was carrying so much and making me nervous.
2013 Calendars and More!
My family moved from an apartment to a house when I was 3. My room had creepy wallpaper featuring cartoon children in old-fashioned clothes. I asked multiple times over the years to change it but was never allowed to because it would be "too much work." 25 years later, that room is now a guest room and the wallpaper is still there.
When I was 5ish, my mom wouldn't let me buy a pair of dinosaur sneakers. She claims it's because they wouldn't match everything, but I still think she refused because she thinks dinos are for boys.
My family teased me for being fat all growing up and for being an ugly kid, which gave me a complex. My brother used to write my name on the wall so I would get in trouble. He also tried to kill me, legitimately, a handful of times. My mom likes to tell everyone how she paid for my college, although I moved out at 17 and am saddled in student loan debt. My brother got his education paid for, and was given a house. I am pretty sure my mom is hoping I will divorce Kevin, take the baby and move in with her.
I was also never paid in gum. I never got the monkey I asked for EVERY YEAR. I got my bike taken away because I flipped off an old lady who almost ran me over when I was 8. I was neither 5, in high school, or in college in 91. Le sigh.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
This is fun.
My brother liked to wrestle with me (he is 6.5 years older). I used to hang out in my parents' bedroom to watch TV. One day, he came in and picked me up by my feet and dropped me while yelling "PILE DRIVER!" He had the best of intentions by attempting to drop me on the bed. However, he missed the bed and I landed head first on the floor.
He and his buddy took one of the cars out for a joy ride when he was 15-ish and our parents were out for the evening. He bribed me with a jar of pennies to keep my trap shut. The second my parents came home (and the car was obviously missing from the garage) I ran out to squeal on him. Dude, I was 8. I knew the value of a dollar, and a jar of pennies was not going to cut it.
I actually didn't have it so bad. My brother and sister used to fight. Like, real fight. My brother hit my sister in the head with his class ring so hard that you could see the impression of his graduating year on her forehead.