Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Planning a holiday party, w/o old friends? (This post is kind of everywhere sorry)
I am thinking about doing a holiday party. I use to have a full dinner for close friends. I just don?t have the motivation to get it going, because the friends I use to have over don?t like the fact that I married someone who was Jewish and I am Catholic. Needles to say this year will maybe a different crowd maybe people from work and a few couples. I know I should get over it and move on but it is hard, some of these people I have known for 15 + years.
My H and I were thinking the night of 10 December after work.. I would just like to do appetizers and deserts, what would be some good ones to have? Also when should I send out invitations? And if I send out invitations should I still invite the people who I use to entertain? Also how do I get into the holiday spirit knowing that some of my oldest and closest friends don?t want to be part of my new life?
Re: Planning a holiday party, w/o old friends? (This post is kind of everywhere sorry)
When you get married, your life changes, and you realize who your friends are (and arent). I cut my bff out of my life after she became distant and jealous, and sometimes mean about me being married and wanting a family. I didnt need or want that negativity in my life anymore.
I would invite your friends, and see who shows. Whoever doesnt show it would be safe to say they probably arent your true friends anymore. Mail the invites out the week of or before Thanksgiving. Have them rsvp by phone or email so you will know how much food and drinks to have.
Do you or your DH have any favorite foods (maybe that are tied to your families or religions)? Does your DH have any diet restrictions?
I love this site for ideas:
http://www.ourbestbites.com/
Have fun!
Wow. I'm really, really sorry to hear this. I'm married to a Jewish man and I'm not Jewish. I can't fathom people (as in GOOD friends) judging me for this. Again, sorry to hear this.
If you're asking if you should invite them because you always did in the past and that's your only reason to invite them, then absolutely not, I would not. They can't judge you and "oust" you then expect to be included in your life just like everything was normal.
You say that they dont' want to be a part of your life. That makes me say "no" even more.
However, if you want to invite them to try and mend fences, well, then, that's really only a decision you can make.
How to get into the holiday spirit? Try to focus on the new poeple in your life. Try to focus on each other.
It's hard, and I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.
As for your entertaining plan, I think it sounds great. A couple apps that I like (and I would ask on the Entertaining board too for mroe ideas):
http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000000642360 (I substitute chicken, though, for the shrimp)
Another one:
* Roast cherry tomatoes in olive oil w/ garlic and italian seasoning. Probably at about 350 for 20 - 30 mins (poke w/ a knife and when soft, they are done)
* Pour on a plate around a chunk of goat cheese
* serve w/ sliced french baguette (smear some goat cheese, then take 1 or 2 tomatoes and smoosh on top).
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My take has always been that a wedding should not be used as the olive branch. An effort to repair the relationship needs to be made outside of the wedding. The wedding itself really should not be the olive branch.
I kind of feel the same way about this. while a holiday party isn't quite on the same level as a wedding, the concept behind it is. You're going to have a lot going on, you're going to have other people there who have no clue about the drama- you just dont' want it to be uncomfortable for you or anyone else.
If you want to fix the friendship, I think you need to reach out to these people on a one-to-one basis and try to talk and see where they are at and get a sense of whether or not their attitude has changed (it might have and they might just be to embarassed to come forward and admit it!).
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
the holidays are already stressful we don?t need people making them difficult on top of that!!!
To everyone Happy Holidays (I don?t care if it?s a little early)
You've gotten some great advice on the friend issue so I'll address your other questions.
I would sent out invitations 3 weeks in advance. We're having a holiday cocktail party and here's my tentative menu:
Baked goat cheese with garlic rounds
Stuffed mushrooms
Bacon-wrapped water chestnuts
Shrimp cocktail
Meatballs - not sure of the exact kind yet
Warm artichoke dip
Veggie tray
Nuts/olives/chocolates in bowls throughout the house
Dessert platter with christmas cookies, brownies
Mini cheesecake bites
Beer
Wine
Pomegrante champage cocktail (I find it much easier to just one signature drink than have a full bar)