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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bridezilla accusation
Hi ladies, I went to a wedding several months ago, and after the wedding, I noticed the bride, my husband's relative, was always acting angry around me. I never understood why until one day I was talking to her, and out of the blue, she screams at me "I can't believe you called me a bridezilla on my own wedding day! How dare you!" I know for a fact I never did. When I wanted to asked her about this, the bride quickly cut me off and left the room. I really wanted to settle this with her and tried to bring it up several times on several separate occasions. It always ended up the same way. The bride would cut me off and walk away. She would always say "It's all over now," or "It is what it is" or "It's fine". And she would leave. She refuses to hear my side of the story. What happened was, during the bride's wedding reception, I was talking with another guest about the show Bridezillas, being the t.v. addict that I am. During the discussion, I was talking to a guest about how bad one of the brides was behaving on the show. I know what I said was, "She is the epitome of a bridezilla", meaning the girl on the show. I think the bride was probably behind me as I was saying this, and the bride automatically thought I was talking about her. The bride had jumped to the conclusion that I was talking about her. She didn't hear the entire discussion. Had the bride heard the entire discussion, she would know I was not talking about her. I can understand that it's the bride's big day and think I may have made the mistake of talking about the Bridezilla show at a wedding. I find it upsetting though, that the bride thinks I am some kind of heartless witch to call her a bridezilla on her own wedding day. Also, how would I know if the bride was a bridezilla anyways? I wasn't there when she bought/rented her dress and booked her vendors. I've made every effort to talk to the bride to work this out but she refuses to hear me at all. There are two sides to every story, and she won't hear my side at all. What do you ladies think of this?
Re: Bridezilla accusation
Ditto this, and email or a letter.
I agree with the email idea. She is sounding like a Bridezilla now, though.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Normally, I'm not big on bringing in 3rd parties- I feel like issues should be resolved by the people involved. However, in this instance- because you have tried to resolve it yourself and because this is your husband's relative, who you apparently see relatively often and who is now making it a storm-outable issue- that might be the way to go.
If my husband was in your situation and had tried to fix it as you have, and if it were my relative that was the bridezilla-who-swears-she-isn't, I would pull aside my relative and say, "Look, there's been a misunderstanding. At your wedding, my husband was talking with Sam about the show Bridezillas, which they both watch. You overheard him talking about the show and I'm guessing you thought he meant you, which makes no sense. Now, I've seen my husband trying to explain and apologize to you, and your storming out and refusing to listen is unfair to him and putting a strain on our visits as a family. Please hear him out, because I'm not going to subject my husband to being treated like a jerk because of a misunderstanding on your end."
I think it's important to have your husband be the one to speak up, as he is the closest to you and speaking to a mutual MIL or someone might stir up even more "She's been talking to my whole family about me!" And, I also think it's important that he be clear that while misunderstandings happen, her being rude to you is unacceptable. There are now two issues: the original misunderstanding, and her behavior towards you as you tried to clear it up. Both issues need to be addressed.
This! If she flew into a tizzy after HEARING the word "Bridezilla" I sense a guilty conscience... hmmmm....
I don't think you were the only one using the word "Bridezilla" on her wedding day.
Oh well. Everything she said was true ... it's over now, it's fine, it is what it is.
Even if its not. NOT your problem.
I would try the email approach, and maybe see if the person you were discussing the show with could offer some support as well. If she still is treating you that way after, then I would take her own advice and be done with it, someone like that is not worht the time or effort.
Send her an email with a simple explanation.
She's being a jerk and a chicken to drop this "how dare you" thing on you and then not give you the chance to explain your side of the story.
Give her one last chance via email, and if she's still being a brat, let that be her choice!