Sex & Romance
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Shaving

My FI and I will both be virgins when we get married in January, but we have talked a bit about our expectations regarding sex. He wanted to me shave my pubic hair before we had sex, so I decided to do that today... I wanted to hopefully not be scratching myself like a man in my pretty little bikini on our honeymoon while getting used to the itching! haha ;) Anyway, I had never shaved all of it before (only bikini shaves) and was just wondering if any of you had a tip to relieve the itch when the hair is growing back in. Also, what do you do to get the closest possible shave so that it's not scratchy?

 

Sorry for the details, thanks for the responses! :) 

Re: Shaving

  • Not sure what you're doing now so maybe this won't be different but try:

    -Shaving in the shower...let it be the last thing that you do so your pores are opened from the heat of the shower.  

    -Use shaving cream

    -Moisturize afterwards

    -a day before you shave lightly exfoliate the skin

     

  • Don't shave.  Wax.  Seriously do it.

     

    ETA:  I think it is only fair that he trims his pubes and shaves his balls for you.   

  • imagepastrypuff9000:

    Don't shave.  Wax.  Seriously do it.

     

    ETA:  I think it is only fair that he trims his pubes and shaves his balls for you.   

     

    Does buying one of those at-home waxing kit things count? I'm scared of going to get it done! =/

     And he does :) This is his thing, not mine, actually. Although I can't speak from experience, I think I'd be fine to go natural! Buuut maybe experience would change my opinion :) haha 

  • I'm curious--why does he want you to do this?
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  • Get a Brazillian, no joke.  If you want it smooth it's the only way.
  • Its your choice if you want to do waxing or shaving..there is also something called sugaring but it is very similar to waxing...If you have never removed the hair before and do not feel comfortable going to a professional to get it waxed off them shaving will definately work!

    As others had mentioned:

    -Do it in the shower last so your skin and pores have time to open and be soft

    -Use shaving cream

    It probably will itch as it is growing in the first few times

    DON"T give up...your skin/hair will get used to it and you will not be itchy after you have done it several times! It is never itchy for me anymore. Also you may just want to shave your pubic region once a week, that way you will not get irritated and the hair will be long enough to get super smooth.

    It takes a little to get used to but being bare is definatitly the way to go in my opinion and it makes all sexual encounters more intense!

     Good Luck!

  • Brazilian...no question.
  • First, I would recommend that you take a look at why you are doing this.  It can take some time/cost to maintain once you find out what you are comfortable with and I think it is important to do it for yourself, not just because your partner wants you to.

     That being said, I personally prefer waxing.  Although it can be slightly awkward at first, I don't think there is a better alternative.

     If you are going to shave, switch blades every two or three times, a fresh blade will help get a closer shave.  As far as the itching goes...go to a sex toy shop and try Coochy cream.  It is amazing.  Noxema also makes an after shaving spray that works well to control redness and irritation.

  • So I was not a virgin before getting married, but he had always wanted me to wax.  I decided I would wait for the wedding/honeymoon for that.  I went the monday before the wedding to get a brazillian, and it did not go as planned.  it hurts, don't let anybody tell you different!  I was only able to finish the bikini area. But what I have been doing since then (three months)is going once every three weeks and having my girl go a little farther in each time.  next time she will get it all and I can't wait.  It has gotten less and less painful each time, and the time before my hair grows back is getting longer.  I was always a shaver and I HATED the bumps, itching, and  prickly feeling when it starts to grow back.  I would absolutely recommend waxing.  Don't buy a home kit, there is so much that could go wrong. There are real professionals that will make you feel comfortable in the salon. here's some tips if you choose to do it. 

    1) require that they use hard wax on the whole thing.  it seriously cuts down on the pain.  most aren't used to it, so make sure in advance they will do it.  

    2)drink water before and after, and take advil before hand.  

    3) put an ice pack on it afterwards to cut down on swelling, redness, and pain.  

    4) have her do the butt.  I know it sounds weird, but it hurts the least and he will totally appreciate the view ;)

    5) the hair needs to be long enough for the wax to grab onto.  otherwise you'll have to tweeze the left overs.

    6) lastly, think of your man during the appt...it will get you through! 

  • Wax and DO NOT do it at home.  I've tried waxing at home and it is not a pretty sight.  Since it hurts so much you might just do one patch and not be able to do the rest.  Get it done professionally and you will be so much happier with yourself. 

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  • I like using this Bikini Zone gel stuff.  You buy it in little tubes at walmart or something.  It's instant itching relief for me.
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  • I am giving him a bit of a side-eye at insisting that you be bare.  Has he watched a lot of porn?  In porn, they want the pubic region as bare as possible so they can see as much as possible.  They have the male performers shave so that their junk looks bigger and longer.

    Now, I have gone brazilian on a couple of occasions because I do like the sensations, but I felt like I looked like a 10 year old girl without my pubic hair.  The visual was a little creepy for me.  I keep my bikini line shaved and my hair trimmed in general.  But I worry that we are creating a society of people who don't want to acknowledge that adult men and women have body hair.

  • Oh, and for the agony that is a brazilian, he should allow you to shave him.  

    If he really loves you, he will let you take a sharp razor to his scrotum.  That is trust.

  • Wax, but do not under ANY circumstances, do it at home..this has bad idea written all over it!
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  • I was in the same boat. I usually just keep the bikini area smooth and trim up the rest but DH has been asking for months for me to just shave it all. I tried this when we first got married and struggled with razor burn and irritation. Bikini Zone has a shave gel that has worked miracles for me. I use that when shaving and then when I get out of the shower I use and anti irritation cream but bikini zone as well. I love both products and doing this for DH has really strengthen our sex life.

  • Waxing might hurt but it hurts for a few minutes. Shaving is miserable for days when it starts to grow back. With waxing there is no itching or anything when it grows back.

    DONT SHAVE! 

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  • Thank you so much for all the replies! They have been so helpful :)

    Just to reassure you all -- I'm happy to do this for my FI. It doesn't seem like a huge deal to me, and if it was, I would tell him. It wasn't something that he demanded, it was something that he requested and that we talked about. He's not a porn watcher, we have chosen (for religious reasons) not to go that route. But we plan on having a rockin' sex life!

    I will look into a brazilian. Honestly, I'm just being a baby about it! I'm scared. And embarrassed to have it done. And scared. But I'll be a big girl ;)

    Have any of you tried depilatories before? Bikini Zone has one that I was reading about... apparently you just put a creme on the hair, leave it there for a few minutes and then wipe away the creme. Any luck? 

      

  • imageabutt421:

    So I was not a virgin before getting married, but he had always wanted me to wax.  I decided I would wait for the wedding/honeymoon for that.  I went the monday before the wedding to get a brazillian, and it did not go as planned.  it hurts, don't let anybody tell you different!  I was only able to finish the bikini area.

    That makes me feel so much better!  I went in for a Brazilian as a Christmas present for DH, and I couldn't do it!  I had a stupid-lookin' lopsided wax 'cause I made her stop halfway through.  I've gotten a few regular bikini waxes since then and they haven't been as bad.  Just a tip (sorry if it was mentioned above)- don't go anytime before or after your period.  The whole area is much more sensitive. 

  • I'm curious about the home wax kit too. I don't really mind the pain with waxing and I'm almost certain that it would be way easier to wax down below.
  •   Why now?

       He isn't going to appreciate the work you go to and how much better sex will feel. Until he tangles with a scruffy muffy first. Then later  gets the good stuff.

  • imageDaringMiss:

    I am giving him a bit of a side-eye at insisting that you be bare.  Has he watched a lot of porn?  In porn, they want the pubic region as bare as possible so they can see as much as possible.  They have the male performers shave so that their junk looks bigger and longer.

    Now, I have gone brazilian on a couple of occasions because I do like the sensations, but I felt like I looked like a 10 year old girl without my pubic hair.  The visual was a little creepy for me.  I keep my bikini line shaved and my hair trimmed in general.  But I worry that we are creating a society of people who don't want to acknowledge that adult men and women have body hair.

     

    I do agree the prospective husband has been checking out the porn.

     As for "bare". Are your armpits and legs shaved? No difference with the pubes.Double standard or what?

      Myself I do usually leave some short fur on the mound where it's sensitive. The rest of the scruff gets sugared off. It's a lot easier keeping everything hygienic down there without any hair to snag ick from the three orifices.

       I don't worry about fur bulging up my bathing suit or trying to escape from the sides.  

  • Personally, I tried shaving a few times and it just didn't work out for me. I get such horrible razor burn, and it's really painful and itchy to deal with. I'm also not a fan of waxing for obvious reasons, so I just use an electric razor and trim on the shortest setting. You don't itch, because you aren't shaved all the way down to the skin, but the majority of the hair is gone, and the hair that is left is out of the way.

    My husband and I talked about what he might like and what I might like beforehand, because we also waited until we were married to have sex, and it turned out to be the perfect thing for both of us. He likes it, I like it, and I don't have to go through a bunch of pain and comfort to achieve it.

     

    Just another option for you to consider.

    image
  • I usually have to shave the bikini area every other day. It's crazy. Sometimes, if I let it go too long, I'll use an electric shaver on it first, and then when I take a shower, I'll use my regular disposable razor. As of right now, though, I'm growing it out to prepare myself for a bikini wax. I may leave a landing strip, or I may not. I want to call around to see if any of them are open the week of Thanksgiving, but I have laryngitis so that will have to wait. We're going on a cruise on the 28th of this month, but are leaving early to spend time with his family on Thanksgiving. I was planning on getting it waxed the day before we leave since our cruise is still a few days away from Thanksgiving. Should be interesting. I'm terrified and excited all at the same time! haha
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  • If you're conservative and shy, then getting waxed by a profess'tional may not be the way to go.

     Home wax is tricky, like others mention, it's painful and you'd not want to continue after one patch. I personally have a very high tolerance for pain and somehow, I think I messed up and peeled off a layer of my skin, it was bleeding and very painful.

     Shaving is the way I do it. The first time I've shaved 'down there', it wasn't fun. It was itchy and painful for the first few days. After I shaved the area 3 different times, it was no longer itchy or painful....now I shave down there all the time without being cautious. So if you go shaving route, I recommend you start doing it NOW...so by the time your wedding comes around, you'd be comfortable and not itching. Just remember to keep shaving, so your skin gets comfortable after a while. 

  • I would NEVER do a wax! ?Seeing a gyno is awkward enough for me!! ?It took a looonng time for shaving to no longer irritate me and sometimes it still does, but not bad...but I shave it EVERY day!! ?That will keep it from itching as it grows back...and yes, it makes your skin get used to it

    ?If you trust your husband, I wouldn't necessarily be concerned about him and porn just because he would like you to shave...he may not like his own hair b/c it feels less hygenic and figures it would probably be the same with you...or hes heard that shaving is something a lot of girls do and thought...hmm...that could be nicer.

  • image2hollydolly:

    I would NEVER do a wax!  Seeing a gyno is awkward enough for me!!  

        That could change. After a decade of marriage and birthing three children one's tolerance level changes. I had been in wet tight swim suits for years anyways which is showing 3/4 naked crotch and bust in public..  DH and myself were walking the beach in Mexico and stumbled around the corner into a clothing optional section. 

        There were 40 other couples there naked as jay birds unconcerned as could be. You get to the stage where"who cares and everybody has seen one already".I had my bathing suit off before DH had his off. 

           

  • Wow, I could never get waxed, and besides you DO still get the risks of ingrown hairs, redness and rashes.

     

    For all the ladies out there who shave I have two words:

     

    Hair Conditioner

     

    It moisturises the skin and you get a much closer shave. Just make sure you exfoliate and itchiness can be cut down with Aloe Vera gel.

     

    I?ve been shaving ?completely? for about six years and by following the advice I was given I have not had any problems.

  • I live in the middle of nowhere so it's over 1 1/2 hours to the nearest place that waxes.  Therefore, I am a shaver.  My recommendations are:

    * Use hair conditioner instead of shaving cream.

    * Replace the razor/blade after 2-3 shaves.

    * Use a razor designed for men as it's designed for more course hair than that of a woman's leg hairs.

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