Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Am I being too judgemental?
Ok ladies, I need some honest feedback...I am feeling like a bad person.
My secretary (who is mid-20s) has been dating someone for about 6 months. She complains every day how horrible he is and has been on again and off again with him. She now tells me that she is pregnant and that she "let it happen" but now thinks that she needs to break up with him.
I can't let myself feel happy for her and think that she has really bad judgement. I also think of this poor kid who has to grow up without a dad and a mom who can barely support herself, not even thinking of what a kid is going to cost her.
Am I wrong for thinking that it is this mentality that is steering our society wrong?
On the flip side, it makes me feel so lucky to have a loving husband and not be in this situation.
Am I being too judgemental?
Re: Am I being too judgemental?
I can't really tell you whether you're being too judgmental, mostly because I can honestly be pretty judge-y myself.
As far as the pregnancy, I totally judge. Especially since she 'let it happen'. But do you mean 'let it happen' as she meant to get pregnant or that she knew better but didn't use any form of BC?
I have a few friends that have gotten pregnant 'on accident' and I wonder to myself, "After everything in the media and everything they taught in our school about the different forms of birth control and you still get pregnant because you didn't think forgoing a condom ONE time would hurt?" I don't understand that mentality and I seriously judge those girls who were so dumb.
I absolutely agree that this kind of behavior is so detrimental to our society. I also hate that TV show 'Teen Mom' or '16 and Pregnant' or whatever it's called because I feel like it's sending the wrong message to teenagers. Yeah, some of the moms are going through tough times with money, relationships, etc, but hey! They're on TV and famous. Wrong way to go about dealing with the issue of teen pregnancy, MTV.
I don't think you need to feel happy for her. If anything, feel sorry for her because she's obviously very misguided. And yes, I'd feel even worse for the child considering it might grow up in a broken home.
Do the creep.
Well she didn't exactly present herself in the best light; it sort of sounds like she purposely tried to get pregnant to me. Sometimes I wonder just exactly why people who are this way have no trouble getting pregnant, and my dear friend is struggling so much.
It hardly seems right that she expect you to be anything beyond skeptical.
Mostly tho, we should all just pity her ignorance, and yes, for the baby that will grow up with an idiot mother.
I kind of hate the term "broken home", because it implies (to me) that home isn't home without both parents, and in my experience, my home was MUCH better growing up without my father in it. But then, I have an amazing mother....and this poor baby, may not.
It's ok lex...I'm kinda her judgin too.
Ditto this!!!
I am fed up with people always trying to make you feel guilty if you judge something. Yes, it is a bad thing if you tell her what you think about her - technically, none of your business. But, that's what we are, humans have evolved because we looked at the occurences around us, judged them, whether we agree/disagree, like/dislike, and moved on. It's hard not to judge stupidity!
My Blog