So. Here's the short version-
you guys know my job is pretty stressful.
I have phone screen tomorrow w/ potential new employer- a co i actually received a job offer w/ a few yrs ago. I declined bc i stayed w my other company. Today I have a call with the recruiter to prep me for it.
Well you guys know my news. I'm obviously concerned w/ who knows what their leave policy is, it's a longer commute (more money though), etc.
H thinks I should ask the recruiter "my H and I are planning our family future and I was wondering what the leave policy was there" or something on those lines....they can't NOT hire me bc of this, esp if I am not disclosing that...but is that a fair question to ask the recruiter? I'm not even sure I should be talking about it, but i don't want to waste my time on the call tomorrow if i know they make you work there a year before benefits...it's a larger comp so i am sure there are benefits...but...
Re: WWYD, Job.
I would either say what your H said or ask about the benefits, generically.
I assume the longer commute works well with a daycare? Just a question.
Yes, it is a consideration. Thanks.
I lean more towards not saying anything until you get an offer. Then you can work it into your contract. I feel like if you ask that now, then they offer you the job and you say "oh by the way, my H and I just found out I'm pregnant" then you might come off looking a little dishonest, you know?
However, if you were to just ask about benefits in general, I would think they would give you the run down on what they offer. Then you don't even have to bring up the "P" word until you have a firm offer anyway.
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Congrats! Whats your EDD?
I missed it too! Congrats!
I would wait for the offer, and then ask to review the comp package including health benefits. You're definitely not goin to qualify for disability I don't think. You need to be with your employer for a year for that (at least that's how it is in NJ).
Thanks, Marcy! Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I guess I will do that. I'll also have a good feel for the commute- this company has you go in like 3 times for interviews.
Thanks, Alyssa! It's 6/24- my first appt is 11/18.
I dd'd the original post...I didn't want it on here... I'm beyond paranoid!
Congrats on the pg!
I'm going to say something that will be VERY unpopular here ... but it's something you need to consider, since I know you've said before that you are the primary bread winner in your home.
Think VERY long and VERY hard before you change jobs when you're pg, particularly when you don't plan to tell them and they won't be able to tell by looking at you. Yes, it's illegal for them to ask, and yes, it's wrong if they take action after you start working. But the truth is, most companies are not going to look kindly on "being tricked" by a pg woman. I know what you're thinking, and I don't disagree. The thing is, what's right and what's done are generally two different things, and when you take a job, most often you are put on probation for a length of time. That may be 30 days, it may be three months - I've heard of one year probations. As some point in the near future, it's likely you will have to start wearing maternity clothes, and it will become evident that you have a bun in the oven ;-). And if you're still on probation at that point, they can let you go for absolutely no reason at all, no explanations required. If you think it's difficult to find a good job when you're not pregnant, try looking for something when you are.
I know that there will be people who will say that isn't likely to happen, or that times have changed. But I've seen it happen as recently as last year - it happened to me both times I got pregnant years ago, and I've seen it happen to women in all sorts of professions in various states in the country.
Whether or not we like it, motherhood can be a deterrent to a potential employer. Hell, it's a deterrent to a CURRENT employer in some cases, but it's more difficult to do anything when someone's been employed for several months or years before becoming pg.
If you start asking questions about leave policy and talking about planning a family ... you're opening up something you don't want to open, even if you're asking a headhunter. They can (and I know in some caes, they have) disclosed things they find out or suspect to potential employers about someone who's interviewing. They can't ask you about your plans, but they can certainly draw conclusions, and no one will appreciate feeling like they were played if you ask those questions now and later on, it become apparent you may have known your situation when you interviewed.
It's just something to think about ... we always think things like this can't possibly happen, but they do. Even today in a "progressive" society. Even in companies and communities where it's just "not possible."
In your field, would you be a contract employee or an at will employee? There's a difference there. At will employees, even not on a probationary period, can be fired for any reason or no reason at all, as long as it's not "protected class" stuff.
Thing is, if you're hired even talking about pregnancy, I think it's not *that* likely you'd be fired. I think if you start asking about pregnancy at an interview it's more likely they just wouldn't hire you in the first place.
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