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A quick T-giving, X-mas vent :)
So yesterday I got to work and had a voicemail from my MIL asking me to call her back because she had some ideas for Thanksgiving. My DH and I are having it at our house and his family is coming. We just went somewhat vegan back in August (occasional sushi and no eggs, milk, cheese, or meat) and had fully told them about it. His family said they were fine with a "vegan" thanksgiving and were looking forward to it.
I called her back last night, and now she wants to bring roaster chickens and a ham for thanksgiving, however she tried to adamently state how disgusting turkey is. (BTW, I always loved the taste of turkey). Anyways, I told her it was fine for her to bring those meats for his family and that would not be a problem. What cracked me up was the next part where she was like, "Well, we can have the chickens, and then we can have some steamed veggies and maybe some mashed potatoes and that should be enough..." I was cracking up in my head- Seriously? You think we eat steamed veggies everyday and that's it?! LOL! Anyways, I told her I'd take care of the sides and the main course and that she could bring the meat. I haven't completely figured out what we're eating, but I was thinking about either some type of stuffed acorn squash or lasagna as a the main course.
Oh gosh, then she starts talking Christmas. On a side note, my DH and I decided we're not going home for x-mas this year b/c last year was a total disaster due to family drama and that we are just going to stay home and celebrate with us and our 2 fuzzies. So she is renting in a new place and is talking about how we can stay there when we come for Christmas. (We live 7 hrs away from family and both sides live 25 miles from each other). I had already told my family that we're not coming home for x-mas. So, I just kind of went with it when she was talking about us staying there. I asked her if she wanted to talk to DH and she was like, "No." !!! So I got off the phone and told him that he needed to call his mom and tell her that we are not coming home for X-mas. He told me I could tell her that. I said no, it was his responsibility to deal with his mom.
Sorry, I just needed to vent for a minute. I can't vent to my mom about this b/c she's still p*ssed that we're not coming home for x-mas. 
You've got to love family, in laws and all, right!
Re: A quick T-giving, X-mas vent :)
O.k., wait - has your DH already told her you all aren't coming and she just isn't "listening"? Or has he not told her at all?
If he hasn't told her at all, then yes, I agree, HE needs to tell her and SOON.
But if he has already told her, then I think you actually do need to speak up "in the moment".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Oh my goodness - you're MIL sounds a lot like mine! I think you're wise to let her bring a meat dish for those interested. I also think you're making an awesome compromise in skipping Christmas this year. You're not favoring one side over another - you're saying no to both. It will be a fresh start next year for both sides.
And yes, it is your DHs job to tell his mother. Don't be put in the middle!
My DH has not broke the x-mas news to them yet. He will do it b/c I'm not going to get stuck in the middle.
It's not that we're ruling out EVER going "home" for x-mas, its just that we do not want a repeat of last year. Our families (especially mine) have a tendency to treat us like we're 16 years old when we come home. They are constantly making us do chores (that they save up all year long for us specifically- like gutter cleaning) and tell us how to live our life. We're also getting to a point in our relationship where we're trying to focus on "us" as a family as opposed to the 2 of us and then "his" side and "my" side being 2 separate family entities that we have to please. Rather, we are focusing on only one family entity to "please" and that would be me and DH (and our fuzzies). This is kind of our "pre-kid" phase right now- we're trying to make us a strong unit before we start introducing children into the mix.
Oh, one other thing my MIL told me last night and it didn't bother me until later...we were talking about kids b/c my sister just had a baby on Monday. I told her it would be a while until we were ready, but that she shouldn't rule us out forever. She told me to "take my time, and whenever I have kids, I can go to work and she'll raise them." I just laughed it off at the time, but oh my gosh is it eating at me now!
Thanks for reading and the comments everybody! It does help!