Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Almost a year!
Hey everyone, I guess this is a little embarrassing... My fiance and I have not had sex since Feb. We are both in very stressful jobs and we just moved, etc. but I am not sure what to do. I go to bed about an hour before him and we both have packed weekends. Over the past couple of months it seems like every night there is something going on and we don't have any alone time. Any ideas will help.
Re: Almost a year!
plan a date night. force yourselves to make time for one another. turn off your phones, whatever you need to do. go have a nice dinner. maybe stay at a hotel. just spend time, the two of you.
You two need a night alone. Any event that's not absolutely necessary over the next week, cancel and stay home. Cook a nice meal, turn off your cell phones and computers, pop in a nice movie and just sit and BE with each other for a little bit. It's okay to slow down and just enjoy each other's company. You'll find that the mood is a lot easier to capture with fewer distractions.
Try even giving each other a massage. You'd be surprised how much just simple physical contact can work like an aphrodisiac, especially after an extended abstinence like the one you've been experiencing.
You took the words outta my mouth!
It WILL get worse after you get married, and stop blaming it on we are too busy. You arent to bust everyday of the year. WE are all busy but we still have our needs met.
I agree with all the PPs. You need to spend some time just the two of you. Plan a date night...and not just one. Several. You don't want to have one date night and then wait another year!
Also, IMO being busy is no excuse. As the person above me said, we are ALL busy. A year is a really long time. Not trying to make you feel bad about it, but you shouldn't use the excuse "we are just too busy and tired" because there is NO way you haven't had 20 minutes free every once in awhile to have sex with your FI!
I couldn't agree more. And really, your boyfriend hasn't had sex in 9 months - he's going to last all of 5 - 10 minutes. You're telling me you don't have 5 - 10 minutes EVER??? Give me a break.
Thanks for all the posts. That is what I thought, but I guess it was a way to get some reinforcement :-)
Have a great weekend!
A YEAR?!
And not ONE opportunity presented itself in all that time?
I don't think either of you are that interested in sex for neither one of you to make a move or have it happen since february.
If you want it bad enough, initiate it. Make the first move.
Has it always been like this?
I'd go stir-crazy.
This is not something to take lightly. If it's been a year since you've had sex, I think there's something else wrong in your relationship that just being busy. You need to take some time off to figure this out, before you get married. Maybe all you do need is some time off together, maybe it's something more, but this is definitely something you should figure out before you're married.
If DH and I went more than a week without sex, I'd worry a lot, I couldn't imagine it not happening for almost a year!
If you have not had sex in a year it is because you DO NOT WANT TO.
Physical attraction and affection is a normal part of a relationship, without it you guys are just roommates. There seems to be a serious lack of chemistry.
Perhaps you should try the date night idea but I think the relationship has run it's course. Most men cannot lay down next to available snatch and not try something, so maybe you are not having sex but I suspect he is.