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Can I vent for a second?

What would you do if a male co-worker was making inappropriate comments?  He is the only male in a large group of women.  Unfortuantely, as some of you may remember, there are a couple girls who are getting breast implants and my co-worker cannot help but put his two cents in about it.  Every time he sees or talks about a girl with big breasts he will do a "motor boat" sound like he's motor-boating on her boobs.  It makes me want to vomit.  He and I are not on great terms and I don't feel like I can talk to him about it.  I also don't want to file sexual harrassment on him because I'm afraid some of our other co-workers would take his side and I would get the repurcussions.  It doesn't seem to bother many of them, or at least they don't say anything.  I just don't know what to do.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Re: Can I vent for a second?

  • If I were in your situation, I would talk to my boss in private about my concerns, and see what came of it from there. Sorry you have to deal with this!
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  • I think you have two options:

    1) Next time he makes an inappropriate comment, just say, "Not appropriate" or something like that.  Perhaps he'd get the message.

    2) Go speak with someone in HR, tell them your concerns and ask that someone speak to him about his comments.  And ask that they keep your complaint anonymous because you don't want to create animosity in your department.

    Good luck!  That sounds like a crummy situation.

  • I think you have gotten good advice already, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Not cool.
  • Thanks girls.  I'm afraid that if I said anything to him about it not being appropriate that he would just do it more.  That's just how he is.  Very immature.  If I go to my boss or HR and they get on him for it, I'm afraid he will still know it was me because (I feel) he does these things to get a rise out of me.  I did talk to another co-worker on the way to my car and she feels it is inappropriate also.  She is closer with him and is going to ask him to stop.  Hopefully that will put at end to it, but if not, I still don't know what I should do.
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  • imagegoodgollie:
    Thanks girls.  I'm afraid that if I said anything to him about it not being appropriate that he would just do it more.  That's just how he is.  Very immature.  If I go to my boss or HR and they get on him for it, I'm afraid he will still know it was me because (I feel) he does these things to get a rise out of me.  I did talk to another co-worker on the way to my car and she feels it is inappropriate also.  She is closer with him and is going to ask him to stop.  Hopefully that will put at end to it, but if not, I still don't know what I should do.

    Unfortunately, I'd guess some sort of confrontation is almost always necessary in these sort of situations. I agree that it's no fun, but the alternative (not speaking up and having to keep enduring it) is probably worse. 

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  • I had a situation like this at work a while back.  I tried confronting the person, and that just made it worse.

    In my case, ignoring it was the best thing.  The girl eventually realized she couldn't get a rise out of me, and went on to some different immature tactic with a different person.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with it - Sometimes I wonder how people get so far in life thinking those types of activities are appropriate.

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