Confidence!

disguiseofrevel

I really want to spice things up for my husband because of a lot of stress we're going through. We both are happy with our sex life, but I really feel like I could do better. 

I know I have potential to be way sexier for him, but I'm naturally a shy person so it's not natural for me to be over the top! I need to work at it.

Any advice?

lifeguard

  If it isn't broke, don't fix it.

  Confidence is a key word. It seems to work well in a man's mind. When an assertive women walks up to him and says she wants some action. 

disguiseofrevel

True. Maybe I should just let our relationship grow and change on its own rather than forcing new things?

sandrakay22

I feel the same way.  I think about it throughout the day but then when it comes to making a move my shyness starts to kick in.  My husband and I have only been married for just over a month but we were virgins so it's still very new.  I just feel like I could be doing more as well.....

julieb00lie

I'm very similar.  I have plenty of confidence at work, but in my sex life I'm so freaking timid.  I'd love to do a strip dance for my hubby, but I just can't build up the confidence!

 

BayleeY

julieb00lie:

I'm very similar.  I have plenty of confidence at work, but in my sex life I'm so freaking timid.  I'd love to do a strip dance for my hubby, but I just can't build up the confidence!

 

Ditto! Completely!

lifeguard

julieb00lie:

I'm very similar.  I have plenty of confidence at work, but in my sex life I'm so freaking timid.  I'd love to do a strip dance for my hubby, but I just can't build up the confidence! 

   You don't have to worry about "doing it right". Just get out there and act like you know what you are doing in order to drive your man wild. Even if you don't know what you are doing.Feminine instincts will help guide your moves. 

    My DH has seen me naked for about 20 years now. he still can't help but get an erection. When I toy with him dancing, no underwear under a dress, slide my bathing suit sideways briefly on the beach etc. 

 

MrsMcC07

I am not a very outgoing person when it comes to sex.

 But when I fell like our S/L needs a little spice, I will put on a sexy little outfit, and do my makeup and hair and meet DH at the door when he gets home from work. Thats enuff to drive him crazy, stressed or not.

disguiseofrevel

Sometimes I feel like I don't really know how to turn him on!! I feel confident about my body I guess, but I at times really don't know what to do. I mean, I asked him to put lotion on my back and my legs, and although I wasn't outright trying to get him in the mood, he didn't seem the least bit turned on even though he was all up in my business! (It felt super great btw Doesn't happen very often lol)

Do you think it may have something to do with the fact that I was a virgin when we got married and he wasn't? I've been having sex (with him obviously) for a year. I don't know exactly how it would matter, but it has crossed my mind. 

Ugh! I just feel like I'm not exciting

 

lifeguard

disguiseofrevel:

Sometimes I feel like I don't really know how to turn him on!! I feel confident about my body I guess, but I at times really don't know what to do. I mean, I asked him to put lotion on my back and my legs, and although I wasn't outright trying to get him in the mood, he didn't seem the least bit turned on even though he was all up in my business! (It felt super great btw Doesn't happen very often lol)

Do you think it may have something to do with the fact that I was a virgin when we got married and he wasn't? I've been having sex (with him obviously) for a year. I don't know exactly how it would matter, but it has crossed my mind. 

Ugh! I just feel like I'm not exciting

 

You worry too much. Just go out there, do your best and boff his brains out.

   Have you though by chance put on weight or make yourself up less than you used to? Has he asked you to "do things" in the bedroom and you turned him down? He may not understand your reasons? Talking helps if approached properly.   

  My DH also had an ex finance.He regrets getting too intimate with her. He ran across her recently, nine years since the last time they spoke. He feels guilty and also badly that his ex married a tough hard core, hard driven old world Euopean. That yells at her and uses her like a slave. DH moped around for about a week all depressed.

 Then again DH's ex liked the other guy's money and went with him instead of my man.

   Her loss and my gain.    

 

LG 

 

disguiseofrevel

I actually have lost a lot of weight since we got married, and I haven't turned down any requests. I'm a very self conscious person (which you probably already gathered so, as you said, I just worry too much. Thanks for the help ladies!

lifeguard

  Don't know what will work on your DH but the following gets my DH's full and undivided attention almost every time.

   Toy with him. Dancing semi or naked around the house, a good bikini line sugaring, no underwear under a dress when driving, at the theater or out to dinner. Sliding my bathing suit sideways briefly on the beach, meet him at the door stark naked etc.

    Back when I still shaved before sugaring. DH would become very excited when I asked him to "help".  

     .I even bought glass top patio furniture. DH is "ready for desert" after he has first course while I'm sitting at the table. Without my underwear that I "forgot" to put on.. 

  They are men and rather predictable, 

ender1568

I've always been a fan of the fantasy bowl.

You and your DH write down some fantasies and throw them in a bowl. Once a week pick on out and just go with it. Carpe Diem!

Good Luck!

SC2now

soft light and cheap wine.

go get'm tiger!