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WWYD?

Brent got a job offered to him yesterday.  It would be building bridges across the US.  It's VERY good pay, and excellent benefits.  BUT, the part I really don't like is that starting in March he would be gone for 3 weeks, home for a week, then gone for 3 again. 

 Now, I am NOT afraid of being alone.  I was a single mom before I got married the first time, single again after my DH passed away, and single for a year recently.  Brent and I JUST moved back in together.  I can handle anything around a home that would happen.

But I just don't know if I like him being gone for that long at a time.  We will have a new grandson, and many other things that would be going on with our family.  He isn't even sure if this is something he wants yet.  It definitely has it's pros and cons.  

Do any of your husbands travel for long periods of time and could give me any tips or advice?

Re: WWYD?

  • Would he always work a schedule like that or is it only temporary?  I could probably handle that for awhile, but if it's always like that I dunno.  That seems like a lot of time away if it's like that the whole year.
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  • It sounds like you two are still working on making your marriage work.  That's hard to do if he's gone most of the time, unless you feel like you need the space. 

    Being home for one week at a time and gone for three weeks wouldn't fly with me unless we were desperate for the money and there were no other opetions, if we needed space, or if it were short term (3 month max).

  • My DH just got a contingent job offer for a job that would have him travelling a LOT.  I know that it will be hard, but I am comfortable with it for a few different reasons;

    1) I just finished a job where I was working 80 hours a week. We never saw each other, but we managed it well.  His job would have him gone for days at a time, and then home for days at a time.  I feel like having gone through the chaos of my job, we could handle it.

     2) He is REALLY REALLY excited about this job.  It is something he has wanted for a long time. I know that the opportunity would be really good for him, so I want to support him in that. It makes me happy to see him so thrilled about the opportunity.

    3)  We have been through a lot of hardship in the last 2 years that have really caused us to work on our relationship. If this opportunity had come along even a year ago, it probably wouldn't have been the best thing, but it is happening at the right time, so I feel good about it.

    4) DH has been unemployed for a year, and I will be laid off in three weeks. We need the money. And I would rather him take a job that he is really excited about, than a miscellaneous job that makes him unhappy, just so we can stay afloat. I am glad an opportunity came along that he is happy about.

    I agree with pp - I know that you guys are at a place where you are working on your marriage, and recently back together, and you need to be thinking about what decision would be the best for your marriage, and you as a couple.  I know that you are doing that right now and I know that you are completely capable of being independant and running a household, but if this wouldn't make you HAPPY, I would be very careful about taking that leap. If it could cause resentment down the road because he is missing out on being a grandpa, or spending time with Sky, or having a relationship with you, no job is worth it.  You are in my thoughts!!!

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  • I don't know. 3 weeks at a time is a LONG time. My DH took a job that has the potential to have him gones a fews days a week (3, 4, 5 days) but not for 3 weeks at a time. He has only had to go once and it was only for 3 days. It was the best 3 days. Not because he was gone, but because when he came home, I appreciated him SO much more. I had gotten comfortable in our relationship and lazy. I had forgotten how much he really does add to my life (and my daughters life too). Again, that was only 3 days. I wouldn't want my husband gone for 3 weeks at a time. I know I could handle the house and my daughter and day to day life, but sometimes I miss him just in the short time we are working during the day and I can't wait to get home to see him.

    DH HATED being gone those 3 days and I know he would never agree to a job that he would be away from home for 3 weeks. Especially on a regular  basis. He has said he won't do it every week and when he does have to go he won't be away for more than 3 or 4 days at a time.

    And the fact that your marriage is in such a fragile place to begin with... I don't think him being gone that much is a good way to get back on solid ground there.

    All of that to say: Nope, wouldn't do it.

    Married: October 11, 2008
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