Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I have Rage
Last week, one of MrTummy's friends asked him if she could spend 2 nights at our house on December 22 and 23 while she was in town to interview for jobs. He asked me what I thought. I said that, since my due date is the 23, I would prefer that she stay elsewhere, but we could be her back-up plan. She ended up making arrangements to stay with another local friend. All was well.
Last night, MrTummy was on the phone with his sister. I left the room for a little while, and when I came back in I heard the tail-end of a conversation in which he had offered to let her, her husband, and their 11-month-old son spend the night at our house (sleeping in our living room) on December 30.
Under normal circumstances, it would annoy me that he invited guests to stay overnight without discussing it with me first. Add to this the fact that on December 30 I'll be either home with a newborn, in labor, or a week overdue and miserable. I don't want house guests.
When I heard what was going on, I motioned for him to get off the phone and explain all of this. Despite our conversation only a week ago about his friend visiting, none of my points had even occurred to him. Then he said, "well, if you do into labor, we'll ask them to leave the house for a while." Really? What if it's midnight? You're going to tell your sister and BIL to take their baby and scram?
His next try: "Well, maybe you'll have had the baby but still be in the hospital, so the house will be empty anyway." I said, "Please do not try to sell me on a plan where the best case scenario is me being in the hospital."
He said he would call her back to change the plans, but then she called him back, saying they'd booked their flights.
This morning, he was making these puppydog faces and I know he's thinking, "I'm just trying to be a good guy and you're getting mad at me." FFS. If it were possible for me to lift my leg high enough to kick him, I would.
Re: I have Rage
He did what?????? And what the hell is wrong with your SIL? She has an 11 month old and I assume she knows your due date?
I'd book hotel rooms for them and tell my husband he's in charge of paying for them.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
I'm sure that you realize this, but you have to find some way to MAKE him understand that neither of you will be in any shape to have that many people in your house with a one week old baby.
Those first couple of weeks are totally about surviving, even if your baby turns out to be the best infant on the face of the planet. Nobody will be getting in sleep. You're crazy hormonal and trying to figure that new little person out.
I honestly cannot fathom being a mother that has gone through the infant stage and even having the balls to ask someone to let me stay in their house.
I'm confused, why is it only for one night? Are they en route to somewhere else?
WTF dude. I agree with Sam, I'd absolutely make your H buy them a hotel room. Take it out of his Christmas present money. Not cool, Mr. T.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
I think I'd tell my husband he's not allowed to talk on the phone anymore.
Wow. Mr. Tummy FAIL!
Worst case scenario and SIL doesn't get wise to what an awkward situation this will be (hello? you would think she would be more sensitive to this seeing she just went through it 11 months ago) Is it just for one night? If you haven't had that bebeh by then, maybe just hole yourself up in the bedroom and try and ignore them? Maybe you will be in the hospital? If you have given birth, maybe she'll wise up and book a hotel last minute?
I don't really don't know what to say on this one. This really is the suck.
Look at me. I'm your girl for this task. i'm ready. I'm willing. I'm able.
Yeah, I like Sam's plan. He should find them a hotel or pay a change fee to get their flights changed to a later date or something. Lorne's parents stayed with us for a little while right after each kid was born, but it was on the premise of them helping out around the house and with the baby (and with Will this time). With an 11-month-old to look after, I doubt that's your SIL's thinking.
And even if you're overdue, you're going to be uncomfortable, you're going to be tired, and you're going to be interested in trying every goddamn thing you can think of to get the baby out. And you're not going to feel like having sex with your husband when you're so annoyed at him letting his family come without consulting you.
I'm still just aghast that she could possibly thing this is a good idea. Does she think you're going to magically have the only infant ever born that sleeps through the night without any noise or having to be fed at a week old? Does she think that she, her H, or the kid are going to sleep?
Even if I was rude enough to think someone with a new family would want to put me uip, I would selfishly not want to deal with my own 11 month old being woken up every other hour by a crying baby.
ya, they need a hotel room. What was Mr. Tummy thinking? And what was your SIL thinking asking to stay then?
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
www.focushunting.com
More info: MrT's parents and other sister are coming to town on the 27th and leaving the morning of the 30th to belatedly celebrate Christmas/see the baby (if he's here), but they're staying in a hotel, and MIL (bless her) has specifically said she won't come to our house unless she's invited. SIL, BIL, and nephew will be staying at the hotel with the rest of the family, but they wanted to fly out the 31st instead of the 30th because their flights would be much cheaper. When SIL mentioned this to MrTummy, he said they should stay until the 31st and could stay in our living room for the last night, instead of staying the extra night in the hotel.
And I think SIL just has the perspective (which I don't share) that family is family, and sharing the postpartum experience with them is not a big deal. She invited her parents and other sister stay in her tiny apartment with her and her husband for a week, just two weeks after giving birth.
I like the idea of paying for them to stay the extra night in the hotel. Once I'm capable of calm conversation, I will raise that.
Yeah, this would not fly. Sorry, no dice. Find yourselves a hotel room, there's no way you're staying at our home 7 days after my due date.
Of all the comments on my post, this is the one that cut me to the core.
Mr. Tummy is sooooooooo grounded. No more phone privileges for two weeks. Also, no TV, internet, or video games. And he must write a 2 page single-spaced essay on "Why we don't invite guests over within days of our due date".
I agree that a hotel room needs to be lined up for them. They're not going to be happy staying with you guys and you're going to be miserable if you just shut up and deal with them coming over.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
I'd like to send this out to Mr Tummy
I hope the hotel for one more night plan works out.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Aw hell no. I agree with the hotel suggestion.
Methinks Mr. Tummy is going to have his world rocked when that baby gets here.